Tell me a funny Joke!!?!
Question: idk wat kind of joke
crude,blonde, ect.
Answers: idk wat kind of joke
crude,blonde, ect.
why did the monkey fall out of the tree
....Because he was DEAD!
lol
ok,
" Did you konw Snow White was arrested at disenyland yesterday for sitting on Pinochio's nose and shouting "Lie B*stard lie!"
knock knock
who's there?
jigga!
...jigga who
http://www.ahajokes.com/
omg no way listen it says that and here is a bunch of jikes lol have fun laughing im on it now! PLEASE ADD ME THX
a blonde girl is tired of being made fun of so one day she decides to dye her hair brown
she is driving in the country when she is stopped by a herd of sheep crossing the road
she gets out of the car and talks to the farmer.
he says "little missy, i dont want these sheep no more. if you can guess the exact amount in the herd, i will let you pick a sheep of your own out"
the blonde says sure and correctly guesses 132 sheep
she looks at what sheep she wants and of course picks the cutest and fluffiest one
the farmer then says "i'll make you another bet. If i can guess your real hair color, you have to give me my dog back."
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
***
? Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what
should
we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
***
? It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like
asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
***
? A man who
surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest.
A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise.
A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
***
? There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage
***
? Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage:Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
Some people might think it's a bit racist, but you can't please everybody.
One night around midnight a cop sees a lone car speeding. The cop pulls over the car and there's a Mexican man inside of it. The cop says, "Okay, man. It's late and I'm almost off my shift, so if you just use these three words in a sentence, I'll let you go. Green, pink, and yellow." The man thinks for a second, and then says, "The phone goes -GREEN, GREEN- so I pink it up and say 'Yellow?'"
It's funnier when it's said. xP
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude. With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
MORAL: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
I'll tell you one if you tell me one first
A husband and wife from New York were traveling to Florida for vacation. They were taking a second honeymoon to the same hotel they stayed at when they first married 30 years ago. Due to their different schedules the husband left a day before his wife. When he arrived he e-mailed to his wife, but accidentally sent it to the wrong address.
Mean while in Texas an elderly woman was morning the death of her husband. He had enjoyed a successful career as a preacher. When she came home from the funeral she checked her e-mail. She screamed and passed out. The e-mail read:
Subject: I’ve arrived
To my loving wife,
They have e-mail here now and allow you to e-mail your loved ones. Just wanted to let you know I arrived safely. The trip was much shorter than I expected. Everything is ready for your arrival tomorrow. See you soon!
P.S. It’s really hot down here