Could someone tell me a funny joke?!
Question: i feel like laughing and im bored so please tell me any funny jokes you know that will make me laugh...here is a joke i know:
there was a priest that always told people to drink from the holy water in his church when they committed a sin, one day a lady comes in the church and confessed to the priest that she had robbed a bank and the priest just told her to drink from the holy water, later some guy comes in the church and confessed he burned his neighbor's house down and the priest told him to drink from the holy water, by the end of the day many people had confessed the things they did and they all had a drink of the holy water, when the priest was about to leave the church a man comes in to make a confession, the man is very scared to confess to the priest and the priest tells him not to worry because the holy water will solve his problem, then the priset asked the man "so what sin have you committed?" and the man's answer was" i pissed on the holy water"
funny?now tell me one
Answers: i feel like laughing and im bored so please tell me any funny jokes you know that will make me laugh...here is a joke i know:
there was a priest that always told people to drink from the holy water in his church when they committed a sin, one day a lady comes in the church and confessed to the priest that she had robbed a bank and the priest just told her to drink from the holy water, later some guy comes in the church and confessed he burned his neighbor's house down and the priest told him to drink from the holy water, by the end of the day many people had confessed the things they did and they all had a drink of the holy water, when the priest was about to leave the church a man comes in to make a confession, the man is very scared to confess to the priest and the priest tells him not to worry because the holy water will solve his problem, then the priset asked the man "so what sin have you committed?" and the man's answer was" i pissed on the holy water"
funny?now tell me one
One day three guys died in a car accident. The guys were, sergio, victor, and blue wolf (you). god said he would give them a second chance to live, but they could not step on a duck or else they would end up marrying a ugly person. so sergio, victor and blue wolf got their second chance and went their seperate way. years had past, and they decided to have a reunion. sergio showed up, with a ugly wife... victor said to sergio "what happened". sergio respond " i stepped on a duck." then victors wife comes, and she looks very ugly, Victor says "i stepped on a duck." then blue wolf shows up with a fiine lady, his wife. victor ask what happened blue wolf. blue wolf's wife says "i stepped on a duck."
A man goes into a bar and sees a jar filled with money.The bartender looks at him and tells him he can get the money if he can make the donkey in the closed room laugh.The man walks in the room with the donkey and closes the door.You hear the donkey laugh,then you hear the donkey cry.The man walks out of the room and grabs the money jar and starts to walk off.The bartender asks him how he got the donkey to laugh.The man replied:I told him my penis was bigger than his,then i showed it to him.
There was a very devout Irish gentleman. He came to the confessional. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," says the parishoner. "How so" asks the preist.
I Blasphemed and took the good lord God's name in vain.
My goodness, says the priest, where were you, how did it happen.
I was on the back nine of St. Bridgette's-
Ohhhh-the priest interupts, I'll be betting it was the sixteenth hole.
That's it exactly your emmenince, how did you know?
Oh, sure an its the devils own hole, isn't it? More'n 500 yards down the fairway, a nasty dogleg, and a waterhazard. The hole posts a par five laddie. Ye caennot expect yourself not to sweart at that monster. What'd you end with, a par 8?
No, father, it wasn't like that at all. I hit the most beautiful drive of mylife, sailing a clear 400 yards before It smashed into a low flying fowl.
When with those mitigating circumstance to want to swear, but we're supposed to be setting an ex-
No, father, don't missunderstand me. I was silent the whole time, too dumbstruck to do anything but try and understand the chain of events. The ball hit the bird and sank like a stone into the rough. I was setting off to look for it, when a squirrel came running out of the bush with my golf ball.
And thats when you-
No, emminence. You see an eaglet grabbed the squirrel and start to fly off with it. But the squirrle struggled. It dropped my ball. And do ya know, father, the blasted thing landed on the green no eighteen inches from the hole.
His faced pressed against the screen, the preist shouts into the booth, "You missed the god damned fooking putt, didn't ya?"
lol funny !
How do you keep a giraffe in a fridge?
Open the door and keep it in.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cuz it wanted to go to the other side!
How do you keep a person in suspense?
I'll tell you tommorow.
How do you keep a lion in a fridge?
Open the door take out the giraffe and place the lion inside.
With what does the elephant pack it's things?
With it's trunk.
A crocodile called all the animals to a meeting. All animals came except one animal. What is that animal? Why did'nt it come for the meeting?
The lion. cuz it was inside the fridge.
And I gave you a star.
whats the difference between jamie oliver and a cross-country run one's a pant in the country........