Its Only when?!
Question: A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding?" The man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding." The mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling you to slow down for miles." "SHUT UP!" the man says to his wife, "Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quite." Then the cop says, "well, since I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?" "No Sir" the man replies, "I did not know that" "WHATEVER!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!" "Shut up" the man yells to his wife again! "Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!" Curiuos, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk to you this way?" "No" she replies, " Only when he's drinking!"
Answers: A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding?" The man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding." The mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling you to slow down for miles." "SHUT UP!" the man says to his wife, "Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quite." Then the cop says, "well, since I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?" "No Sir" the man replies, "I did not know that" "WHATEVER!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!" "Shut up" the man yells to his wife again! "Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!" Curiuos, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk to you this way?" "No" she replies, " Only when he's drinking!"
I love it !! Thanks for the laugh !! Have a star.
I have one for you, " When Grandma Goes To Court"
In a trial, a southern small- town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, " Mrs. Jones, do you know me. ?? " Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a baby, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think that you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize that you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, " Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney"?
She again replied, " Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with 3 different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him. "
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the way and, in a very quiet voice, said,
" If either of you idiots asks if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair " !
hahaha. Liked that story a lot
thanks for sharing
very funny.
hahahahaha...very funny...great!..
got me
Haha, herd it b4, ty for the 2
that's true. people lose theirselves when they are drunk.
OMG, that is so funny! great way to start the day, thanks