How to speak Chav?!
Question: assband - as in "Am assband", "I am confined to the house".
awss - a four-legged animal on which money is won or lost
blinding - excellent, as in "West Am are blinding"
bruvver - male sibling (or Mitchell).
cort a panda - quarter pound hamburger.
cach - sofa, settee.
caf - daytime eating house.
dan ill - a) in the direction of the bottom of an incline, b) decline,
ie."Kat from EastEnders gone a bit dan ill lately."
donut - idiot.
eassband - as in "Eassband, mate" (instructions to cabbie to take Essexman in an easterly direction).
effix - moral principles.
fanx - an expression of gratitude.
fink - ponder.
Furrock - where to find the Lakeside Shopping Centre.
gaff - house or home.
garrij - the motah's gaff
Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island.
innit - a) is it not? A superfluous suffix, as in: "I'm goana Saffend,
innit."
jacks - ￡5 note.
janartamean - do you know what I mean?
kebab - meat meal (for when you have the munchies).
lame - of poor quality or taste. For emphasis use "well lame".
larf - laugh, as in: "You're avin a larf" - you cannot be serious.
minger - an unattractive person, usually female.
motah - car (generic); usually Ford Fiesta.
mullered - (also trolleyed, bladdered) very, very drunk.
muppet - idiot.
nice wun - congratulations.
no wurriz - a) never mind, b) you're welcome.
oi oi! - traditional greeting.
oppit - go away.
padda puff - soft, lacking aggression.
paipa - The Sun.
quality - good, great. As in: "Paulo di Canio is qualityrear of the year -
idiot. Literally "prize a**e".
space cadet - a person with plenty of space where their brain should be.
spoze - to be inclined to think.
tan - London, as in "I'm goan up tan"
ug - an unattractive person, male or female.
vacher - a document that can be exchanged for goods or services.
webbats - where, in which place, specifically; as in: "Webbats you
goin,squire?"
wonnid - a) desired or needed, b) sought by the police, as in: "Ees wonniby theawforties."
yafta - you must; you are obliged.
yooz lot - the assembled company.
zaggerate - to suggest something is better than it is. Like West Am's
chances of avoiding relegation
Answers: assband - as in "Am assband", "I am confined to the house".
awss - a four-legged animal on which money is won or lost
blinding - excellent, as in "West Am are blinding"
bruvver - male sibling (or Mitchell).
cort a panda - quarter pound hamburger.
cach - sofa, settee.
caf - daytime eating house.
dan ill - a) in the direction of the bottom of an incline, b) decline,
ie."Kat from EastEnders gone a bit dan ill lately."
donut - idiot.
eassband - as in "Eassband, mate" (instructions to cabbie to take Essexman in an easterly direction).
effix - moral principles.
fanx - an expression of gratitude.
fink - ponder.
Furrock - where to find the Lakeside Shopping Centre.
gaff - house or home.
garrij - the motah's gaff
Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island.
innit - a) is it not? A superfluous suffix, as in: "I'm goana Saffend,
innit."
jacks - ￡5 note.
janartamean - do you know what I mean?
kebab - meat meal (for when you have the munchies).
lame - of poor quality or taste. For emphasis use "well lame".
larf - laugh, as in: "You're avin a larf" - you cannot be serious.
minger - an unattractive person, usually female.
motah - car (generic); usually Ford Fiesta.
mullered - (also trolleyed, bladdered) very, very drunk.
muppet - idiot.
nice wun - congratulations.
no wurriz - a) never mind, b) you're welcome.
oi oi! - traditional greeting.
oppit - go away.
padda puff - soft, lacking aggression.
paipa - The Sun.
quality - good, great. As in: "Paulo di Canio is qualityrear of the year -
idiot. Literally "prize a**e".
space cadet - a person with plenty of space where their brain should be.
spoze - to be inclined to think.
tan - London, as in "I'm goan up tan"
ug - an unattractive person, male or female.
vacher - a document that can be exchanged for goods or services.
webbats - where, in which place, specifically; as in: "Webbats you
goin,squire?"
wonnid - a) desired or needed, b) sought by the police, as in: "Ees wonniby theawforties."
yafta - you must; you are obliged.
yooz lot - the assembled company.
zaggerate - to suggest something is better than it is. Like West Am's
chances of avoiding relegation
ive just realised i say some of those! im booking elecution lessons after the easter holidays before i turn into chavtastic vicky pollard!
Haha - your chav postings are hilarious.
thats great - gave me a giggle - you wait til my nephews visit - ill try some
I am what is classed as a chav round mine I live in the north east & we dont talk like that up here ur talkin cockney sh*te
The best way to speek chav is to have your brain removed and replaced by a cauliflower. You may then be able to understand their motivations.
Lol! Keep 'em coming!
You forgot:
"Bruv" - any male friend or relative or acquaintance!