Give me some good jokes?!
Question: can anyone give me some good jokes,the first one to give the most and the most funiest get best answer
Answers: can anyone give me some good jokes,the first one to give the most and the most funiest get best answer
in this site you can find every joke that you want
http://www.danggoodjokes.com/
what now?
why is 6 afraid of 7
because 7 8 9.
Read it out loud and you'll get it, its so dumb :p
How do you blind fold a chinese man?
------- Tie some tooth floss around his head
(because chinese eyes are small)
What do you call a black priest?
------- HOLY SH*T
Here is one I got in an email
JAPANESE FART>> A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when she married > she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of > her honeymoon the young Japanese bride crawled out of bed after making > love, stooped down to pick up her husband's clothes, and> accidentally lets out a big fart.She looked up and said: "Aww So > sorry...excuse please, front hole so happy back hole laugh out loud.">
No offense intended!!
Texas Trooper
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over. The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face. Stunned, the driver asks, ''Why did you do that??''
The trooper responds, ''You're in Texas now son, you have that license out and ready around here!''
''I apologize sir, I'm not from around here.''
The trooper then walks to the passenger side of the car, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down his window and the trooper takes out his club and smacks the passenger across the face.
''What was that for?'' asked the passenger.
''I know your kind,'' says the trooper, ''About two miles down the road you would have looked at your buddy and said 'I wish that son of a ***** would have tried that crap with me!'''
______________________________________...
The CIA had an opening for an assassin.
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,”
The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
______________________________________...
New Improved Lawnmowers
One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass".
The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can''t afford a thing to eat."
So the layer said, "Poor guy, come back to my house."
The guys then said, "But I have a wife and three kids." The lawyer told him to bring them along.
When they were all in the car, the poor man said, "Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you."
The layer said, "You''re going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall."
______________________________________...
Cheers!
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so
he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally
typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from
her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail,
expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the 1st message, she fainted. The widow's son
rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: November 30, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here;
we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and
have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW !
18 sardar went to see a movie. because they saw a sign board in front of the cinema hall " UNDER 18 NOT ALLOWED"
PJ's ---
Teacher: You failure! At your age Bill Gates stood first in the class.
Student : Mind you, Sir, but at your age Hitler had committed
suicide!!
TEACHER: What's the difference between reality and imagination??
STUDENT: You teaching me is REALITY but you thinking that I’m understanding is your IMAGINATION!!
Well was she smiling?
When Jack first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches! Jack became quite concerned, so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the physician explained to the couple that though rare, jack`s condition could be cured through corrective surgery.
"How long will Jack be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
"Well," said the wife coldly, "you`re planning to lengthen Jack`s legs, aren`t you?"
MR.GAY
An employee for USAir, who happened to have the last name of GAY, got
on a plane recently using one of his company's "Free Flight" programs.
However, when Mr. Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being
occupied by a paying passenger. So, not to make a fuss, he simply chose
another seat.
Unknown to Mr. Gay, another USAir flight at the airport experienced
mechanical problems. The passengers of this other flight were being
rerouted to various airplanes. A few were put on Mr. Gay's flight and
anyone who was holding a "free" ticket was being "bumped".
Airline officials, armed with a list of these "freebee" ticket holders
boarded the plane to remove the free ticket holders. Of course, our Mr.
Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember.
So when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr. Gay was supposed
to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you Gay?". The man,
shyly nodded that he was, at which point she demanded: "Then you have
to get off the plane".
Our Mr. Gay, overhearing what the Ticket Agent had said, tried to clear
up the situation: "You've got the wrong man. I'm Gay!". This caused an
angry third passenger to yell "Hell, I'm gay too! They can't kick us
all off!" Confusion reined as more an more passengers began yelling
that USAir had no right to remove gays from their flights.
As far as I know, they are still on the tarmac fighting it out. ;-)