What's the best joke you've heard?!


Question: A man and his wife were having some problems and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the bloke realised that he'd need his wife to wake him at 5am for an early flight to Sydney. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me at 5am."

Next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9am and he'd missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and bollock his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. It said: "It's 5am, wake up."


Answers: A man and his wife were having some problems and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the bloke realised that he'd need his wife to wake him at 5am for an early flight to Sydney. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me at 5am."

Next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9am and he'd missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and bollock his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. It said: "It's 5am, wake up."

Little Mary was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Mary?"
"My goldfish died," replied Mary tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Mary patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

Joke A) What do you call a little vampire? A pain in the knee!
Chatup line A) Good thing I brought my library card cause I'm checking you out!

Marie had a little lamb
she also had a duck
she put them on the window sill
to see if they would .......

It's so funny i can't possibly type it out properly without making so many typos that it's even readable



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