I need a good laugh. The one who makes me laugh the hardest, wins!!!!!?!
Question: there once was a gardener from leeds,
who`d let rip when she stooped to plant seeds,
she blow off when she mowed,
let rip when she hoe`d,
and blast off when she pulled out her peas!!!
Answers: there once was a gardener from leeds,
who`d let rip when she stooped to plant seeds,
she blow off when she mowed,
let rip when she hoe`d,
and blast off when she pulled out her peas!!!
lyk i aynt got nuttin betta to do....
:|
ok
whats the fastest cake in the cake shop
scone
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so
he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally
typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from
her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail,
expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the 1st message, she fainted. The widow's son
rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: November 30, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here;
we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and
have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW !
my fiance and i once went to the zoo and were standing outside the lions enclosure.
the lion came over and took a drink of water right in front of us and then turned his back on us and lifted his tail.
i knew immediately what was coming and moved out the way, telling my fiance to do the same thing. he thought he knew best though and stayed put, and was promptly "sprayed" by the lion!! it landed on his trainers and our cats went made for them when we got home!! so so funny!! could only happen to him!!
This black guy helps this witch safely across a busy road. When they get to the other side, the witch said ..."I am so pleased with your help, young man, I am a Witch and I will give you one wish, anything you have ever wanted"
This black guy thought long and hard and realised his dream was to turn into John Travolta dancing the night away in Saturday Night Fever. So he turned to the witch and said ..."Well ma'am, I wanna be white, tight and outa sight!" .....
So she turned him into a tampon!
You Just watch Mr. Bean - a very very very foolish man.
A Joke
An interesting phrase written on the back of a bikers shirt:
"if you can read this please inform me that my girlfriend has fallen off!"
A tiger was giving wedding party to his friends. A cat came there & danced. Tiger asked who are u? cat said i was also a tiger before my marriage.
laugh with me
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA
here are sum jokes
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
Scroll Down. --->
<----- Scroll Up.
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A blonde was driving home after work and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said... "HEL-LOOOOOOOO ...You gotta roll up the windows!!!
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
from
A blond walked into garage and asked for a 710. The assistant was very puzzled, saying he had been in the business for forty years and didn't know what a 710 was. The girl replied, " there's one on every engine and I have just lost mine". The mechanic asked if she could drawer it, to give him an idea, so she drew a circle and wrote inside the circle 710. Do try it and turn your picture up side done. I hope this gave you a good laugh, it did me.
Not to be racist but I heard this from the Radio.
A black woman died and went to Heaven. When St. Peter saw her, he immediately ran to God and said "God! There's a REALLY dark woman at the Gates, will we turn her into an angel?". God paused for a while and said, "No, we won't." St. Peter said, "Then what will SHE become?"... "We'll turn her into a bat!"
Look down and then look up.
What do you see?
have many ears does mr. spock have?
three. the left ear, the right ear and the final front ear
The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.
So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said "No, I can't live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly."
"OK," said the judge, "then you want to live with your mother, right?"
"No way!" replied baby bear, "She beats me worse than Papa bear does."
The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn't quite know what to do. "Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?" asked the judge.
"Yes," answered baby bear, "my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago."
"You're sure she will treat you well and won't beat you?" asked the judge.
"Oh definitely," said baby bear, "the Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."
OZ FLIGHT
A Mormon was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London,
England,
to Melbourne, Australia.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Aussie asked for a rum and Coke, which was brought and placed before
him.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust,
"I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my
lips."
The Aussie then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,
"Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."
I walked into a bar and I could hear this loud crying coming from the back room. So I asked the landlord and he said "My horse won't stop crying, I'll give you ￡50 if you can help". So I accepted, went to the back room to see the Horse and 5minutes later it was laughing its head off. I took my money and left...
A week later I returned to the bar and the Horse was still laughing.. The landlord said "The laughing is worse than the crying, can you shut it up if I give you ￡50?"
So I accepted, went round the back to see the Horse and two minutes later it was completely silent..
"How did you do that?!?" asked the landlord..
"Easy," I replied "The first time I saw the Horse I told it that I have a bigger d1ck than him, the second time I proved it."
1..While Little Red Riding Hood was walking in the forest to her grandmothers, she saw a large wolf behind some rocks: ‘My, my’ she said to him ‘what big ears you’ve got’. The wolf ran away. A minute or two later, she again saw him behind some trees ‘My, my’ she said ‘what big eyes you’ve got’. Again he ran away. A minute or two later, she again saw him behind some bushes. ‘My, my’ she said ‘what big teeth you’ve got’. The wolf replied ‘Will you forever pee off, I’m trying to have a crap’.
2..are all fat people, overweight?
A family of three prostitutes.....the daughter charges ￡50 for a blow job, the mother charges ￡10.... the grandmother is just glad of a warm milky drink.....