Do you know any good jokes?!


Question: Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

lol i like this joke coz its funny...........x


Answers: Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

lol i like this joke coz its funny...........x

A man is caring for his young daughter while his wife is at work. An hour or so before the wife gets home, the little girl asks her daddy if he wants to have a tea party. He agrees, and the young girl toddles off. A few minutes later she comes back with a small plastic tea cup full of water, and hands it to her daddy. He drinks it, the little girl giggles, and toddles away, returning again in a few moments with more water, which the man drinks. This continues for about half an hour. The man calls his wife, telling her that she just has to come see how cute this is, what their daughter is doing. So when she gets home, she watches her daughter toddle back and forth with the little cup once or twice. Her husband says, "See, isn't she just adorable?" His wife looks at him and, smiling, says, "There is only one place low enough for her to get that water from, you know."

okay , there was a blonde driving and it was like 12 o'clock at night and she acciedently cut some guy off, and he made her pull over to the side of the road and told her to get out of the car, and she did, he drew a circle on the gound and told her not to step out of the circle or else, and she goes and steps inside the circle and doesnt move, the guy goes back to his car and get a bat, and he goes to her car and starts hitting it with the bat, and the girl starts laughing, and he turns around to see what she was laughing at and she had stopped laughing, so he doesnt think much of it and he goes back to hitting her car, and this time she starts laughing again,and he does the same thing he turns around to see what she was laughing at , and she stops, so he was getting pissed off so he went back to hitting the car, and she starts laughing even harder this time, so he walks over to her and asks her why do you keep laughing? and she says every single time you turned around i stepped out side the circle

lol :] i think this is funny because im a brunnette but i act blonde lol hope you like :]

Oh I Love This Joke!
xDD

2 Men Go out hunting,One of the Guys Shoots The Other Guy
On.
Man 1:
Oh No! *Calls The Hostipal* Hello! Help I Shot My Friend! I Need Help!

Doctor:
Calm Down! Okie First Check If His Dead.

Man 1:
Okie.

*BANG*

Man 1: Okie Now What?

the next time you think you have got the short end of the stick with life.think of others who are much worse off than you like my friend john he is a simees twin.his attached brother is gay hes not. his brothers boyfriend is comeing over tonite and they have only one *** hole.



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