What is your favourite childhood joke?!
Question: Why did Mr Spock go to the toilet?
To examine the captains log.
Answers: Why did Mr Spock go to the toilet?
To examine the captains log.
1) What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
2) What do you get if you cross a red hot poker with a forget- me-not?
A painful reminder.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Orange...
Orange who?
We all know how that goes :P I totally thought that was the most hilarious joke till I was about nine.
Where does a police man live?
999 let be avenu
Where do baby gorillas sleep?
In an apricot.
PS: I grew up with parents who spoke English with a French accent, so I only understood this joke when I was 13!
Shakespeare walked into a pub. the landlord shouted " get out, your barred"
Two biscuits crossing the road
one got run over
the other one said "oh crumbs"
I can't say on here. It would violate Y/A TOS. It's that bad.
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious
Financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
Several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
Congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for
$10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and
Were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious
Doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to
Himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor
Louis stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louis, the
Minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked
With bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of
Their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately
Asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last
Week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales
Prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected
On behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You
Are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church
Last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a
Professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and
here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are
Truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did
You manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the
Minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?"
The minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you
Suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in
Just one week?"
Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in
Unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10
Times as many bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister! Agreed. "I think you'd
Better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for
Sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell
Us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I S-S-said WA-WA-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would
Y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to B-B-B-buy th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-bible
F-f-for t-t-ten B-B-B-bucks ---O-O-O-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you
J-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to St-St-stand h-h-he re and
R-R-R-R-R-read it t-to y-y-you??"
(p.s., I don't mean to offend anyone, but that's funny! My pastor even told me it was) :P
My favourite jokes were the 'Mummy Mummy' ones. eg
Mummy Mummy, whys Daddy running so fast?
Shut up and hand me that gun!
Mummy Mummy, whys Daddy hanging off the edge of the cliff?
Shut up and keep jumping on his fingers!
It was usually poor Daddy who got the rough end of the jokes lol
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2, just don't ask me how they got in there.
I needed my teenage sibling to explain it to me, but once i got it, lmao for years.
How do you catch a "Unique" rabbit?
You Neek up on it....
How do you catch a "Tame" rabbit?
Tame way!! hee hee
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
He was kneading a jobbie
What ticks on the wall? - Ticky paper
what do you call a person with 2 toilets on their head ?????? lou lou
Moo moo cows
Once there was 2 cows. one cow said "mooo!" the other cow said "I was going to say that!"