Short lawyer jokes - funny or not?!
Question: Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
--------------------------------------...
Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the definition of a lawyer?
A. A mouth with a life support system.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car.
--------------------------------------...
Q. Have you heard about the lawyersa€? word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
--------------------------------------...
Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
--------------------------------------...
Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
--------------------------------------...
Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
A. Who cares?
--------------------------------------...
Q. What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them, but you never see them.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A. Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A. Jewelry.
Answers: Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
--------------------------------------...
Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the definition of a lawyer?
A. A mouth with a life support system.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car.
--------------------------------------...
Q. Have you heard about the lawyersa€? word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
--------------------------------------...
Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
--------------------------------------...
Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
--------------------------------------...
Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
A. Who cares?
--------------------------------------...
Q. What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them, but you never see them.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A. Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A. Jewelry.
those are good.
"shudder" too many lawyers spoil the broth.
Not too funny to me, sorry.
I like lawyer jokes. lol
it is to chuckle,,, lawer and snake ,,,nickere nicker
heres one or more
Q. If to lawyers jump of the empire state building who wins
A. society
Q.how do you know if a lawyer is well hung
A. You cant get a finger between the rope and his neck
(this was actually said in a court room)
l= laweyer d= doctor
l: now doctor you performed the autopsy on mr******
d:yes
l: and he was dead at the time
d:yes
l: you are positive
d: yes
l: how do you know he was dead
d: because his brain was in a jar on my desk but you never know he could have been practicing law some where
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
ok so you are traped on a desert island with a lawyer a tiger and a lion you have a gun with two bullets what do you shoot 1st
answer the lawyer
ok you have 1 bullet left what do you shot next
answer the lawyer just to be certain
what do you call 1 lawyer on the moon
a problem
what do you call 2 lawyers on the moon
a problem
what do you call 100 lawyer on the moon
a problem
what do you call 1000 lawyer on the moon
a problem
what do you call all the lawyers on the moon
PROBLEM SOLVED
why is it a shame when a nova with 4 lawyers in it goes over a cliff
you could fit another one in the back and posible 2 in the boot
What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish
what is the diffrence between a dead lawyer in the middle of the road and a dead dog in the middle of the road?
there are skid marks in front of the dog
Good and a few funny ones .
not funny
very good lawyers suck