Has any one got a joke to tell me please?!
Question: reasonably clean thank you
Answers: reasonably clean thank you
I`m really pi$$ed off, someone`s just crashed into my car in the street. It was one of them new Skoda`s, there`s jam and sponge everywhere !!
wots brown and sticky?
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mud glue. ha....ha..... :s
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a ￡30,000 loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, ' There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to bor row ￡30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
.............
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
how do you keep an idiot in suspense?
how do you know a blond has been using your Computer.
there is whiteout all over your screen
lazlo's is great
can't top it just yet.
ok, an old man is sitting on a park bench one afternoon, just watching as people stroll by. along comes a young man with a huge mohawk died red, green, blue, and purple. astonished, the old man just stares and stares as the young man walks by. irritated, the young man asks the "old man, hey, old timer, haven't you ever done anything crazy in your life when you were younger?!"
the old mans reply " yeah, i screwed a peacock many years ago, and i was just wondering if you could be my son."
What is the all american dream?
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A beaner jumping off a cliff with a n*gger under each arm! l0l
What's brown and sticky and found in babies nappies?
Micheal Jacksons hand.
lo this is the worst of the lot
why are pirates called pirates
coz they arghhhhhhh!!!
gotta admit it made u smile
I like darkpony and didio's joke :D
A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the barman " Gin and........................................
The barman replies..." Why The big 'Paws'(Pause).."
The polar bear replied..." Erm...I was born with them"
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Dave reminded me of one..........
Why are cavemen so popular with today's young adults ?
A: They love to go clubbing.
Q:What do you say when you get in trouble for not doing your homework?
A:You can't tell me off for something I didn't do!
Silly , silly joke
Phr3drico went down to Georgia to visit his grandmother. While walking down a dusty country road, he saw two men walking on the other side. One of them was carrying a big bag, labeled, "Chickens."
"Chickens, eh?" says Phr3drico. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"
"Heck," says the man with the bag, "if you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em." Then Phr3drico, thinking, scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"