BEST AWNSER if you make me laugh more than some one else does then i will give y!


Question: just post sumthin you think is funny and i will decide if I think it is funny and i will try to do this every day so watch for them this will end and i will have decided who wins at 11:30 that is 30 minuets from now


Answers: just post sumthin you think is funny and i will decide if I think it is funny and i will try to do this every day so watch for them this will end and i will have decided who wins at 11:30 that is 30 minuets from now

the post office released a new
stamp today with a DI*CK on it!
It's causing lots of confusion
cause bit*ches don't know which
side to lick!!

I lost my virginity to a toaster.

wanna hear a funny joke....womens rights....lol

It takes 4 hours before you can pick best answer.

Once upon a time no one cared. The end. (I think it's pretty original, don't you?)

my hamster escaped this morning.

i found him about an hour ago....in the washing machine, still alive, but a nice shade of blue.

very odd

My name is simslover1100 and I'm addicted to cinnamon buns.

Flying pig: People are always saying that pigs don't fly. It really hurts my feelings.

Smart blonde: People are always teasing me for knowing my times tables. They expect all blondes to be stupid. But I know that I'm smart because I can compute pi. 3,141,592

Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!

Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Yo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!

Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

Yo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!

Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!

Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

what do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
you pull the pin and throw it back!

A blonde walks into the bar and then says OUCH!!

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

Best answer or not, here goes...What are the 3 words you never want to hear while making love ? "Honey I'm home !"

I was in the car with my friend on our way to practice, and we had just gotten a new carpool. The guy driving was this really mean looking guy who listened to terrible comedians the entire car ride, and wouldn't talk to us. His daughter was just as mean as he was, so me and my friend sat in the back seat trying not to look at each other or we'd bust out laughing. So after about two weeks of this I took my ipod out and my itrip (tunes into the radio, so my ipod music can play through the radio into the car) and I tuned it into the guy's horrible comedian station, and I didnt remember what I had last listened to, and it turns out I had left it on "Gimme More" by Britney Spears. All the sudden the whole car got quiet and the speakers blasted "ITS BRITNEY B*TCH!" I unplugged it so fast and had to put my hand in my mouth to stop myself from laughing. The mean guy driving almost hit the car infront of us and yelled something in Hebrew.... Me and my friend haven't looked at each other in that carpool since that day.... lol

It was probably one of those times where you had to be there, but it was really funny cuz that guy was sooo creepy!!

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend gambling trip to Louisiana . The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top-level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

The brunette asked, "What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... "YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!"

Q. Why don't dinosaurs ever talk?
A. Because they're dead.



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