How can I help my friend??? Nobody's answering on the other ones. PLZ answer!


Question: He was abused when he was younger and raped by a man when he was 15. He said he grew up thinking it was the normal thing to do between two men after his abuse when he was young. He started working as a rent boy, cutting himself and even OD. Hes now better with relapses (you always know what mood hes in with the tone of his voice on the phone). The thing is, I know he's still sleeping with men. He told me he likes my sister but I don't think its right with what he's doing and with his past. How can I protect him more and what do I do if he asks my sister out? Should I tell her or keep it to myself??? Soz 2 ask on here but i dunno what he's gonna do nxt


Answers: He was abused when he was younger and raped by a man when he was 15. He said he grew up thinking it was the normal thing to do between two men after his abuse when he was young. He started working as a rent boy, cutting himself and even OD. Hes now better with relapses (you always know what mood hes in with the tone of his voice on the phone). The thing is, I know he's still sleeping with men. He told me he likes my sister but I don't think its right with what he's doing and with his past. How can I protect him more and what do I do if he asks my sister out? Should I tell her or keep it to myself??? Soz 2 ask on here but i dunno what he's gonna do nxt

Is this friend over or under age, does he have any parents that could help him?
I dont know the complete situation but he sounds basically completely out of control and confused. So the best thing to do is to talk to him about getting some help.
And yes, I personally would tell my sister if your scared he might do something to her. Tell her now before he makes his move..but dont bash him.
Just give her the facts and let her make her own analyisis..if she decides she wants to give it a go then let her.
But be sure to keep a watchful eye and make sure things are going smoothly.
Honestly counseling with a professional is probably what this kid needs..but he doesnt seem like the type to go for it. But then again he did confide in you. =)

Deff protect ur sis. Keep her away from tht weird dude

Tough situation, I don't know what to tell you honestly. Be supportive of him. Don't tell your sister exactly what happenned, just tell her you dont want her dating your friend b/c it would be uncomfortable for you.

bloods thicker than water

Do you realize you're asking this in Jokes & Riddles?

thats sad but i dont want to get in it its your decsision

your sister is definantly more important

tell ur sis to stay away.. pretend she has a bf or is gay.. and not into that.. it has to stay a secret and she can not let on that she nos

First thing he needs to do is see a professional psychologist to help him with treatment. It is not normal what he is doing. You, as his friend, can help him by encouraging and supporting him through the process. I don't blame you for not allowing him to date ur sister.

tell her dont let him around her

well you know it might not be the best thing to tell your sister about his past cuz thats his business but warn her about him and ask him to stay away from your sister. and he should get help to solve the issues he had in the past!

Thats horrible!How can people abuse, its sick!!!!, definetly tell him to stay away from your sister, you would not want her to get a sexually transmitted disease.

The best thing would be for him to get therapy, but it's not always possible. If you can gently suggest this, it could really help your friend heal. As to your sister, I'd play it touch and go, make sure he tells her his past. He may just need a fresh start. However, you should be worried about your sister's health or well-being. I think you should tell her. Good luck!

i dont think she should date him until he goes to theorpy or somthing like that. it may not be safe until he straitens things out

Tell your sister about him and tell her if he ever asks her out to say no. You cannot change his past and he is who he is. If he is sleeping with men, then that's his business. But it is your business to protect your sister.

protect your sister and tell her, definatley....and for your friend....i dont think that theres really much you can do for him...except for maybe try to get him some professional help....

and did you really mean to put this question in the joke and riddle section???

first- make sure he's okay mentally, one of the worst things for unstable people is relationships- it gives them worse mood swings. and if he wants to get involved w/ your sister, then make sure she understands what his life is like, she doesn't have to know EVERYTHING about him, but at least know the basics so it's not like she's being sheltered from anything, if she wants to get involved, she should know what she's getting into. But if it was my sister, I wouldn't let him.

If his past of abuse and rape is seriously affecting him maybe he should talk to some one like a therapist. It would really help and as a friend you could go with him if he needed one. As far as your sister goes if she is into him then i think that you should let her do what she wants. If he seems unstable though to a point where your nerveous about them dating then you should really get him to talk to someone!
Hope that helps.

If he is not with men anymore and he is single, then being with your sister should not be a problem. Unless of course he is still cutting/ODing, then serious medical action should be taken and should see a doctor. He is a dear friend to you, right? Sit him down and talk to him about how you are feeling and why. Being with men isn't necessarily wrong, so he hasn't done anything bad in that department. But share with him (and possibly your sister) how you feel about his past and tell him if he has really changed, then things between them two might work out. Don't be over protective though, you could lose your relationship with him and your sister. Hope this helps!

Your friend needs to see some kind of therapist...anything to get him to realize that his behaviors are not normal and how to change them....lead him to that path ny letting him know that your not one to judge him that its something you want to do for him as a friend...i wouldnt tell your sister...tell him that as his friend you don;t want to get friendshp and family involved since that can cause problems. Your a good friend!, hope that helped =)

Helping your friend may be tough, especially if he doesn't see it for himself.
At this point the best you can do is, do your sister a favor and tell her the truth, that way she can make the decision to say yes or no to your friend.
This is the best way to handle the situation as she is your sister and you would do the right thing by telling her the truth!
Good luck!

dude in myany cases i feel very sad for this young man for he suffered great pains throughout his life but if he likes your sister i think you should not give him a chance for you know your sister is family and family is very extremely improtant no matter what. Ans the promblem is that if you do let your sister in your sister's life you will be sorry so just take this seriously. And i think you should telll your sis and to explain to her the troubles of his life and her heart will choose for her. And better yet i would stay away for him for your own benefits you never knoe the true colors in the inside. So please don't damage your life with a firend like that.
<3

Your friend may be confused about his sexuality.If your that worried you may want to confront him about in but not in a way where he will put a block up and get mad at you and stop being your friend. Let him know that your only trying to help him out. As for cutting and OD if he is still doing it he needs help its extremely bad to do, I've been down that road with cutting and i did it to find a way out of the pain to that may be exactly what he is doing.As for your sister, if he asks her out ...he asks her out....don't tell her he may not want her to know and if she finds out and she likes him she will get weirded out.
i hope this helps.

you need to let your sister know about his past and if she doesn't mind and is still willing to go out with him then let her, after all you gave her a warning.if hes better now,maybe hes relized it's wrong and he wants to start over and if you don't want him with ypur sister you should try to help him,maybe try and set him up with someone.

good luck!

p.s. i wouldnt want him with my sister either.

Protect your sister, she's more important than your friend!

Protect your sister.
Tell her not to go out with him cause something
might happen that she will regret.

your such a good brother! protect your sister! 100%. & as for him, if he wants to be gay, i'd let him be. its his right i guess. you are being really responsible in this situation, keep it up! :)

get some help

In this case you have to protect your sister from your friend and at the same time help your friend to go through his life. Told him straightforward not to cut himself anymore and that you don't believe that he likes your sister more than the man he's sleeping with. You need to be really honest in this situation. Plus, tell your sister that she need to be careful with your friend. Give her a hint that you wanted her to not dating your friend. Hope my opinion help. Good luck!

first thing is definitely to protect ur sister! u might not know if he has stds or something. tell her abt him but tell her to keep it secret. does he actually like men or he thinks its normal because of that incident? maybe u should talk to him abt it?

Tell her. You are her brother and in any culture in the world, that means you have a responsibility towards her - not in a parochial, male protecting female kind of way in our modern society, but as a sibling, period. Be gentle and tactful about it, but most definitely tell her: he is putting her at extreme physical (STDs from multiple partners, whatever gender they are) and emotional danger and she should be well informed of the risks and what is going on. I would also speak with him - as both a friend and as a brother to your sister. He may not really be aware that what he is doing is very, very dangerous to her. In all of these kind of matters, honest, open and non-confrontational communication is the ***very*** best way to go: it can't be beat when there is any kind of interpersonal problem!!!

From Springtime in New Scotland,
Ross Mayhew.



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