Got any Funny Jokes???? :)?!
Question: I am bored so i want to know some funny jokes or your favorite jokes thanks!!!!!!!!!!
Answers: I am bored so i want to know some funny jokes or your favorite jokes thanks!!!!!!!!!!
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the 1st message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: November 30, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here; we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!
How do you know when you've passed an elephant?
Can't shut the toilet seat.
Why do birds fly south? Too far to walk
Why are the bottom of elephant's feet yellow? So they can hide upside down in the custard
What's the difference between a straw and ship's captain?
A straw sucks and sucks and never fails!
Hope that will do and make you laugh. They are old but I like them.
no sorry even i want good jokes
One day, a blonde was driving her car down the town.
All of a sudden, her car got into a collision with a dude's car.
Being all angry and infuriated, the dude got off his wrecked car and demanded that the blonde step out.
He drew a circle on the sand, and demanded that the blonde stand in the circle without moving out. The blonde was puzzled, but she listened to him.
The dude took his baseball bat and whacked the crap out of the blonde's car, with all the shards of glass and metal flying all over. However, the blonde was laughing loudly. Hearing the laughter, the dude smashed the engine and punched holes through the doors, but the laughter became even louder.
Confused, the dude told the blonde "Hey b*tch what are you laughing at?"
Still laughing, the blonde replied "Haha you didn't catch me stepping out of the circle!! Twice!!"
There were three guys on the seashore. They found a magic seashell. It gave them 3 wishes. So each man got a wish. The first man wished "I wish I was the strongest man in the world" POOF! He was the strongest man in the world. The second man wished "I wish I was the fastest man in the world" POOF! He was the fastest man in the world. The third man wished "I wish I was better than the other men" POOF! He was a woman.
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Blonde Joke
There were 3 woman the police were chasing after. There was a brunette, a red head, and a blonde. They found three sacks and hid in them. The police man came over to the sacks and kicked the one with the brunette in it. "Bark, Bark, Bark!" "Oh, its just a dog" said the policeman. The policeman kicked the one with the red head in it. "Meow Meow Meow!" "Oh, its just a cat." said the policeman. The police man kicked the bag with the blonde in it and she said "Potatoes, Potatoes, Potatoes!"
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There was a man in a supermarket and a little old lady following him. When he stopped, she stopped. When he walked, she walked. Furthermore she kept following him. At the checkout counter, the lady said "I'm hope I didn't make you feel awkward and at ease. It's just you look so much like my son." "It's ok" replied the man. "I know it may sound weird, but I would feel so much better if you would say 'Bye Mom' when I walk out of here." said the lady. When the little old lady was about to go outside and leave, the man called "Goodbye, Mom." The lady smiled and waved. "That comes to $125.68." said the clerk. "What? How come so much? I only purchased 4 items." said the man. "But your mom said you'd be paying for her things, too. Don't Trust Little Old Ladies!