Joke Hope the guys can handle it?!
Question: Joke Hope the guys can handle it!?
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the
waiting room, where their family member lay
gravely ill!.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and
somber!.
'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said
as he surveyed the worried faces!.
'The only hope left for your loved one at this time
is a brain transplant!.
It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is
the only hope!. Insurance will cover the procedure,
but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves!.'
The family members sat silent as they absorbed
the news!. After a great length of time, someone
asked, 'Well, how much does a brain cost!?'
The doctor quickly responded, ' ￡ 50,000 for
a male brain, and ￡200 for a female brain!.'
The moment turned awkward!. Men in the
room tried not to smile, avoiding eye
contact with the women, but some
actually smirked!. A man unable to control
his curiosity, blurted out the question
everyone wanted to ask,
'Why is the male brain so much more!?'
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence
and explained to the entire group,
'It's just standard pricing procedure!.
We have to mark down the price of the female brains,
because they've actually been used!.'
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO
THE MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!Www@Enter-QA@Com
waiting room, where their family member lay
gravely ill!.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and
somber!.
'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said
as he surveyed the worried faces!.
'The only hope left for your loved one at this time
is a brain transplant!.
It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is
the only hope!. Insurance will cover the procedure,
but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves!.'
The family members sat silent as they absorbed
the news!. After a great length of time, someone
asked, 'Well, how much does a brain cost!?'
The doctor quickly responded, ' ￡ 50,000 for
a male brain, and ￡200 for a female brain!.'
The moment turned awkward!. Men in the
room tried not to smile, avoiding eye
contact with the women, but some
actually smirked!. A man unable to control
his curiosity, blurted out the question
everyone wanted to ask,
'Why is the male brain so much more!?'
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence
and explained to the entire group,
'It's just standard pricing procedure!.
We have to mark down the price of the female brains,
because they've actually been used!.'
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO
THE MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
do you want to hear some relli funny blond jokes!?
There is a blond driving through the country!. She has just died her hair brown because she is sick of being made fun of!. She is really hungry!. She stops at a farmers house and says "Hi! If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one!?" Farmer says ok!. She quickly counts them and says "91!" The farmer looks around puzzeledly and says "Ok!. Take one!." When the Blond is walking back to her car the farmer asks "If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back!?"
She was a blonde
-she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
-she thought a quarterback was a refund
-she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
-she thought meow mix was a record for cats
-under "education" on her job application,she put "Hooked On Phonics"
-she tried to drown a fish
-she tripped over a cordless phone
-she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate'
-she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
-she got stabbed in a shoot out
-she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
-If you gave her a penny for intelligence you'd get a refund
-they had to burn down the school to get her out of 3rd grade
-she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
-at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"!.!. she put "Sagittarius"
-if she spoke her mind,she'd be speechless
-she studied for a blood test and failed
-when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved
-when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "AIRPORT LEFT" she turned around and went home
-did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio!? It took her months to figure out she could use it at night
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA!?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle!?
A dope ring!.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean!?
An air pocket!.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts!?
"This goes in front"
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door to their Mercedes with a coat hanger!. They tried and tried to get the door opened,but they couldn't!. The girl with the coat hanger stopped to catch her breath,and her friend said anxiously,"Hurry up! Its starting to rain and the top's down!
Why do blondes like lightning!?
They think someone is taking their picture!
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday!?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde!. Her friend tells her, "Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something!?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying!.
The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her!. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde!. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!"
The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her!. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana!?"
The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"
A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist!.
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me!."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car!?"
B: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing!. I put a mailbox in my car!."
P: "Uh !.!.!. How's that working!?"
B!. "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet!."
P!. "And why do you think that is!?"
B!. "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing!."
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing!. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake!.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice!. Suddenly--from the sky--a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole!.
Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The Blond, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole!.
The voice came once more!. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord!?"
The voice replied, "No, this is the Manager of the Ice Rink!"
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror!. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish!. However, if one tells a lie - - poof - - you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again!.
Sooooo, A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world!." - - - poof - - -!. The mirror swallows her!.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive!." - - - poof - - -!. The mirror swallows her!.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think!.!.!." - - - poof - - -
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver!.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road!?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident!. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me!. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me!. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am!.!.!. that's your air freshener!."
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway!. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs!. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible!. The brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks the blonde if there's a cop behind them!. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette!. The brunette then asks if his he's got his lights on!. The blonde replies "Yes!.!.!.No!.!.!.Yes!.!.!.No!.!.!.Yes!.!.!.No"
A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it!.!.!.!.
Cop : "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly!?"
Blonde : "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65!."
Cop : "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"
Blonde : "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on!."
At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts!.
Cop : "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there!? They're shaking something awful!."
Blonde : "Oh!.!.!. We just got off of highway 119"!.
A blonde walks into a doctor's office!. She gets in the room with the doctor and says, "Doc, I hurt all over!." The doctor is really confused!. He says, "What do you mean, you hurt all over!?" The blonde says, "I'll show you!."
She then touches herself on her leg!. "OW!!! I hurt there!." Then she touches her earlobe!. "OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!" Then she touches her hair!. "OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!" So the doctor sits back and thinks on it for 5 min!. Then he says, "Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color!?" The blonde says "Yes, why!?"
The doctor says, "Well, you got a broken finger!.!.!."
Did you hear about the blonde that!.!.!.
1!. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight!.
2!.Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope!.
3!. Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter!.
4!. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
5!. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out!.
6!. Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button!.
7!. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C"
8!. Burnt her nose bobbing for French fries!.
9!. Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125!.
10!. Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!.
11!. Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel!.
12!. Got hurt while raking leaves; fell out of the tree!.
13!. Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said "good up to 20 pounds"
14!. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms!.
15!. What goes vroom-screech-vroom-screech', etc!? A blonde at a flashing red
light!.
16!. Two blondes are trying to get into their car using a coat hanger when one says, "Hurry, it's starting to rain and the top is down"
Problem:
Ten blondes and a brunette were hanging onto a rope that was tied to an airWww@Enter-QA@Com
There is a blond driving through the country!. She has just died her hair brown because she is sick of being made fun of!. She is really hungry!. She stops at a farmers house and says "Hi! If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one!?" Farmer says ok!. She quickly counts them and says "91!" The farmer looks around puzzeledly and says "Ok!. Take one!." When the Blond is walking back to her car the farmer asks "If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back!?"
She was a blonde
-she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
-she thought a quarterback was a refund
-she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
-she thought meow mix was a record for cats
-under "education" on her job application,she put "Hooked On Phonics"
-she tried to drown a fish
-she tripped over a cordless phone
-she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate'
-she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
-she got stabbed in a shoot out
-she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
-If you gave her a penny for intelligence you'd get a refund
-they had to burn down the school to get her out of 3rd grade
-she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
-at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"!.!. she put "Sagittarius"
-if she spoke her mind,she'd be speechless
-she studied for a blood test and failed
-when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved
-when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "AIRPORT LEFT" she turned around and went home
-did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio!? It took her months to figure out she could use it at night
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA!?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle!?
A dope ring!.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean!?
An air pocket!.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts!?
"This goes in front"
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door to their Mercedes with a coat hanger!. They tried and tried to get the door opened,but they couldn't!. The girl with the coat hanger stopped to catch her breath,and her friend said anxiously,"Hurry up! Its starting to rain and the top's down!
Why do blondes like lightning!?
They think someone is taking their picture!
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday!?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde!. Her friend tells her, "Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something!?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying!.
The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her!. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde!. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!"
The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her!. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana!?"
The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"
A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist!.
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me!."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car!?"
B: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing!. I put a mailbox in my car!."
P: "Uh !.!.!. How's that working!?"
B!. "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet!."
P!. "And why do you think that is!?"
B!. "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing!."
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing!. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake!.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice!. Suddenly--from the sky--a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole!.
Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The Blond, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole!.
The voice came once more!. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord!?"
The voice replied, "No, this is the Manager of the Ice Rink!"
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror!. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish!. However, if one tells a lie - - poof - - you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again!.
Sooooo, A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world!." - - - poof - - -!. The mirror swallows her!.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive!." - - - poof - - -!. The mirror swallows her!.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think!.!.!." - - - poof - - -
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver!.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road!?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident!. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me!. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me!. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am!.!.!. that's your air freshener!."
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway!. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs!. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible!. The brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks the blonde if there's a cop behind them!. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette!. The brunette then asks if his he's got his lights on!. The blonde replies "Yes!.!.!.No!.!.!.Yes!.!.!.No!.!.!.Yes!.!.!.No"
A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it!.!.!.!.
Cop : "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly!?"
Blonde : "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65!."
Cop : "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"
Blonde : "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on!."
At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts!.
Cop : "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there!? They're shaking something awful!."
Blonde : "Oh!.!.!. We just got off of highway 119"!.
A blonde walks into a doctor's office!. She gets in the room with the doctor and says, "Doc, I hurt all over!." The doctor is really confused!. He says, "What do you mean, you hurt all over!?" The blonde says, "I'll show you!."
She then touches herself on her leg!. "OW!!! I hurt there!." Then she touches her earlobe!. "OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!" Then she touches her hair!. "OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!" So the doctor sits back and thinks on it for 5 min!. Then he says, "Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color!?" The blonde says "Yes, why!?"
The doctor says, "Well, you got a broken finger!.!.!."
Did you hear about the blonde that!.!.!.
1!. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight!.
2!.Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope!.
3!. Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter!.
4!. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
5!. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out!.
6!. Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button!.
7!. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C"
8!. Burnt her nose bobbing for French fries!.
9!. Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125!.
10!. Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!.
11!. Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel!.
12!. Got hurt while raking leaves; fell out of the tree!.
13!. Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said "good up to 20 pounds"
14!. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms!.
15!. What goes vroom-screech-vroom-screech', etc!? A blonde at a flashing red
light!.
16!. Two blondes are trying to get into their car using a coat hanger when one says, "Hurry, it's starting to rain and the top is down"
Problem:
Ten blondes and a brunette were hanging onto a rope that was tied to an airWww@Enter-QA@Com
nice!. you've made me feel stupid!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
LOL! So true!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I like it! :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
LUV IT * 4 uWww@Enter-QA@Com
Why thank you!! I'm smiling!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
LOL good joke!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol so funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
haha!.
thats a really good one!!!
oh and the blonde jokes above are really funny tooWww@Enter-QA@Com
thats a really good one!!!
oh and the blonde jokes above are really funny tooWww@Enter-QA@Com
That is funny!
: )Www@Enter-QA@Com
: )Www@Enter-QA@Com
haha!!! :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Hey! I think I resemble that remark!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
XDD!.!.!.!.Pretty funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
haha thats funny
btw the blonde jokes are killer very niceWww@Enter-QA@Com
btw the blonde jokes are killer very niceWww@Enter-QA@Com