Whats your favorite chuck norris joke?!
Question: Whats your favorite chuck norris joke!?
i like the one that says
"The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there!. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears!."
or
"Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives!."
make me laugh peopleWww@Enter-QA@Com
"The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there!. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears!."
or
"Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives!."
make me laugh peopleWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer!. Too bad he has never cried!.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face!. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris!.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb!. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard!.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability!. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back!. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming!. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month!.
Chuck Norris does not sleep!. He waits!.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean!.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination!. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them!. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement!.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris
To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer!. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes!. Beat that, Lance Armstrong!.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain!.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs!.
Chuck Norris won ‘Jumanji’ without ever saying the word!. He simply beat the living daylights out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited!.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did!.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wise Man!. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”!. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day!. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible!. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths!.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you!. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death!.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books!. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs and then he round house kicks them untill they explode!.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack!. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever!.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”!.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz!. steaks in one hour!. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress!.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub!. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away!.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face!. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back!. He always makes it to Oregon before you!.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris!. His reasoning!? It was more “humane”!.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up!. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided!.
One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face!. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris!.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb!. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard!.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability!. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back!. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming!. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month!.
Chuck Norris does not sleep!. He waits!.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean!.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination!. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them!. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement!.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris
To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer!. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes!. Beat that, Lance Armstrong!.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain!.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs!.
Chuck Norris won ‘Jumanji’ without ever saying the word!. He simply beat the living daylights out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited!.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did!.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wise Man!. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”!. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day!. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible!. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths!.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you!. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death!.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books!. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs and then he round house kicks them untill they explode!.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack!. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever!.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”!.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz!. steaks in one hour!. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress!.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub!. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away!.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face!. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back!. He always makes it to Oregon before you!.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris!. His reasoning!? It was more “humane”!.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up!. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided!.
One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
When God said, "Let there be light," Chuck Norris said, "You didn't say please!."
Chuck Norris can speak braille!.
Chuck Norris just pissed your pants!.
Chuck Norris' poop is used as currency in Argentina!.
Chuck Norris doesn't tea-bag the ladies, he potato sacks them!.
Chuck Norris doesn't know where you live, but he knows where you will die!.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience!.
On the comments part in Chuck Norris' first grade report card, it said, "What Mr!. Norris lacks in social skills he makes up for in the bedroom!."
Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because he never f*cks up!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris can speak braille!.
Chuck Norris just pissed your pants!.
Chuck Norris' poop is used as currency in Argentina!.
Chuck Norris doesn't tea-bag the ladies, he potato sacks them!.
Chuck Norris doesn't know where you live, but he knows where you will die!.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience!.
On the comments part in Chuck Norris' first grade report card, it said, "What Mr!. Norris lacks in social skills he makes up for in the bedroom!."
Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because he never f*cks up!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit!. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees!. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer!.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun!.
Chuck Norris is the only person to count to infinity- twiceWww@Enter-QA@Com
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun!.
Chuck Norris is the only person to count to infinity- twiceWww@Enter-QA@Com
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer!. Chuck Norris is always in control!.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song!.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did!.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life!. Never!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song!.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did!.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life!. Never!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
chuck norris beat the sun in a staring contest!.
chuck norris had sex in a tractor trailer and a sperm got caught in the engine!. We now know that trailer as optimus prime
Chuck norris played wheel of fortune and spun the wheel!. the next 29 minutes the contestants waited for it to stopWww@Enter-QA@Com
chuck norris had sex in a tractor trailer and a sperm got caught in the engine!. We now know that trailer as optimus prime
Chuck norris played wheel of fortune and spun the wheel!. the next 29 minutes the contestants waited for it to stopWww@Enter-QA@Com
My boyfriend made this one up: Chuck Norris bowled a 301!.
also, these are some I remember:
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did!.
- Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris!.
- Chuck Norris can speak braille!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
also, these are some I remember:
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did!.
- Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris!.
- Chuck Norris can speak braille!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
What happens when an unstoppable object hits an unmoveable object!? Chuck Norris is born
When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down!Www@Enter-QA@Com
When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus or theres Jesus can walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim on landWww@Enter-QA@Com
Why did the chicken cross the road!?
Because there was a fight between batman and darth vader in which chuch norris was winningWww@Enter-QA@Com
Because there was a fight between batman and darth vader in which chuch norris was winningWww@Enter-QA@Com
HA! I love CN
I heard this on a bio show!.!.
"There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard!. There is only another fist!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
I heard this on a bio show!.!.
"There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard!. There is only another fist!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris doesn't use condoms!. Instead, he has sex with one woman and uses her to have sex with another!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays Potato Chip!
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris died 10 years ago!.!.!.but death has been too afraid to tell himWww@Enter-QA@Com
When chuck norris goes swiming, he doesn't get wet!. The water gets chuck norris!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom!. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris!Www@Enter-QA@Com
If Chuck Norris lay face down on the ground and had an erection, he would strike oil!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris just looks at somone with cancer
!.!.and cures it !Www@Enter-QA@Com
!.!.and cures it !Www@Enter-QA@Com
i like "chuck norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the earth down"Www@Enter-QA@Com
The part he played in Dodge BallWww@Enter-QA@Com
there is nothing to fear but Chuck Norris, himself!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
uh!.!.!. i dont know who chuck norris is :DWww@Enter-QA@Com
i dont have a chuck norris joke!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
chuck norris jokes dont make any sense and they are not funny at allWww@Enter-QA@Com
Fact: Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer!.
Too bad he never cries!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Too bad he never cries!.Www@Enter-QA@Com