If you need some points: funniest clean joke for 10 pts!?!
Question: If you need some points: funniest clean joke for 10 pts!!?
Tell me a joke, quick, i need a laugh but it has to be clean! if you need 10 points go for it!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Joe had been suffering terrible headaches for over 20 years !. Finally he
found a doctor who could cure the problem!. He sat down in the doctor's
office and the doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your
headaches!. The bad news is that it will require castration!. You have a
very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine
and the pressure creates one hell of a headache!. The only way to relieve
the pressure is to remove the testicles!."
Joe was shocked and depressed!. He wondered if he had anything to live for!.
He had no choice but to go under the knife!.
When he left the hospital, he was free of his headache for the first time
in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself!.
As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different
person!. He could make a new beginning and live a new life!.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need!.!.!. a new
suit!."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit!."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see!.!.!. size 44 long!."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know!?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said!.
Joe tried on the suit!. It fit perfectly!. As Joe admired himself in the
mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt!?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!."
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck!."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know!?"
"Been in the business 60 years"!.
Joe tried on the shirt and it fitted perfectly!. Joe walked comfortably
around the shop and the salesman asked about some new underwear!? "
He thought for a moment and said, "Sure!."
The salesman said, "Let's see!.!.!. size 36!."
Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you; I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years
old!. The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34!. A size 34
would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you
one hell of a headache!."
New suit - ￡400
New shirt - ￡30
New underwear - ￡5
Second Opinion - PRICELESSWww@Enter-QA@Com
found a doctor who could cure the problem!. He sat down in the doctor's
office and the doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your
headaches!. The bad news is that it will require castration!. You have a
very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine
and the pressure creates one hell of a headache!. The only way to relieve
the pressure is to remove the testicles!."
Joe was shocked and depressed!. He wondered if he had anything to live for!.
He had no choice but to go under the knife!.
When he left the hospital, he was free of his headache for the first time
in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself!.
As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different
person!. He could make a new beginning and live a new life!.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need!.!.!. a new
suit!."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit!."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see!.!.!. size 44 long!."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know!?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said!.
Joe tried on the suit!. It fit perfectly!. As Joe admired himself in the
mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt!?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!."
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck!."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know!?"
"Been in the business 60 years"!.
Joe tried on the shirt and it fitted perfectly!. Joe walked comfortably
around the shop and the salesman asked about some new underwear!? "
He thought for a moment and said, "Sure!."
The salesman said, "Let's see!.!.!. size 36!."
Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you; I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years
old!. The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34!. A size 34
would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you
one hell of a headache!."
New suit - ￡400
New shirt - ￡30
New underwear - ￡5
Second Opinion - PRICELESSWww@Enter-QA@Com
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob!. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north!. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard!. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night!.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained!. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house!."
"Don't worry," Jack said!. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn!. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light!."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night!. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way!.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing!.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney!. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend!.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north ab out 9 months ago !?"
"Yes, I do!." said Bob
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit!?"
"Well, um, yes!," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did!."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name!?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy!. I'm afraid I did!. Why do you ask!?"
"She just died and left me everything!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained!. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house!."
"Don't worry," Jack said!. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn!. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light!."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night!. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way!.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing!.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney!. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend!.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north ab out 9 months ago !?"
"Yes, I do!." said Bob
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit!?"
"Well, um, yes!," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did!."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name!?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy!. I'm afraid I did!. Why do you ask!?"
"She just died and left me everything!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A Cop pulled a car over for speeding!.
When the Cop asked the driver why he was traveling 95mph, the driver answered that he was a juggler on his way to do a show for a birthday party and didn't want to be late!.
The Cop told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket!.
The driver told the Cop that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle!.
The Cop told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car, and asked if he could juggle them!.
The juggler stated that he could, so the Cop got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler!.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car!.
A drunk got out, watched the performance briefly, went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in!.
The Cop observed him doing this, and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing!.
The drunk replied, "You might as well haul my butt to jail, cause there's NO way I’ll pass that test!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
When the Cop asked the driver why he was traveling 95mph, the driver answered that he was a juggler on his way to do a show for a birthday party and didn't want to be late!.
The Cop told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket!.
The driver told the Cop that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle!.
The Cop told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car, and asked if he could juggle them!.
The juggler stated that he could, so the Cop got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler!.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car!.
A drunk got out, watched the performance briefly, went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in!.
The Cop observed him doing this, and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing!.
The drunk replied, "You might as well haul my butt to jail, cause there's NO way I’ll pass that test!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
How do you shoot a blue elephant!?
With a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a red elephant!?
Strangle him until he turns blue and shoot him with a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a green elephant!?
Tell him dirty jokes until he turns red , then strangle him till he turns blue and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun!Www@Enter-QA@Com
With a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a red elephant!?
Strangle him until he turns blue and shoot him with a blue elephant gun!
How do you shoot a green elephant!?
Tell him dirty jokes until he turns red , then strangle him till he turns blue and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A boy came home from school and saw his old Grandpa!.
Boy said: "Grandpa, grandpa, I want to see the Iron Man! I want to see the Iron Man!"
Grandfather is irritated by the boy!. So he said "OK, OK, you will see the Iron Man now"
Boy jump with joy until he saw his grandpa came out from the room with an Iron and start ironing his Manchester United shirt!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Boy said: "Grandpa, grandpa, I want to see the Iron Man! I want to see the Iron Man!"
Grandfather is irritated by the boy!. So he said "OK, OK, you will see the Iron Man now"
Boy jump with joy until he saw his grandpa came out from the room with an Iron and start ironing his Manchester United shirt!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok one boy was eating a banana and it fell so he went to pick it up and his mother stopped him and told u should not eat or pick up anything from the floor !.the next day his mom fell and his dad to to pick his mom up the boy said we should not pick or carry anthing on the floor!.i hope that makes u laughWww@Enter-QA@Com
boy and a teacher are doing remedial classes when suddenly the teacher says to the boy WHT ARE U DOING
the boy replies by saying "putting my finger in your belly button"
the teacher responds by saying " thats not my belly button"
the boy finishes by saying" well thats not my finger"Www@Enter-QA@Com
the boy replies by saying "putting my finger in your belly button"
the teacher responds by saying " thats not my belly button"
the boy finishes by saying" well thats not my finger"Www@Enter-QA@Com
If a golf cart has square whells, then how many pancakes fit in a bird bath!?
No, there's no bone in banana!.
(I didn't laugh the first time I heard it but almost died laughing the next time I heard it!.)Www@Enter-QA@Com
No, there's no bone in banana!.
(I didn't laugh the first time I heard it but almost died laughing the next time I heard it!.)Www@Enter-QA@Com
what's the difference between a duck!?
one of its legs is both the same!.
[it's nonsense but if you tell it to a friend you can make them feel stupid as hell by trying to explain it to them with diagrams and everything]Www@Enter-QA@Com
one of its legs is both the same!.
[it's nonsense but if you tell it to a friend you can make them feel stupid as hell by trying to explain it to them with diagrams and everything]Www@Enter-QA@Com
OKAY SO THERE'S THESE TWO MUFFiNS iN AN OVEN!.!.!.
ONE MUFFiN LOOKS OVER TO THE OTHER MUFFiN AND SAYS "MAN iTS GETTiN HOT iN HERE"
THE OTHER MUFFiN LOOKS OVER QUiCKLY AND SHOUTS "AAAAAAAAHHHH iTS A TALKiN MUFFIN!!" =]Www@Enter-QA@Com
ONE MUFFiN LOOKS OVER TO THE OTHER MUFFiN AND SAYS "MAN iTS GETTiN HOT iN HERE"
THE OTHER MUFFiN LOOKS OVER QUiCKLY AND SHOUTS "AAAAAAAAHHHH iTS A TALKiN MUFFIN!!" =]Www@Enter-QA@Com
Two blonds, one on each side of the river!. One yells at the other!. " How do i get to the other side!? " The other yells back!. " Your already there! "Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why do seagulls fly over the sea!?
-Cuz if they flew over the bay then they would be called
bay-gullsWww@Enter-QA@Com
-Cuz if they flew over the bay then they would be called
bay-gullsWww@Enter-QA@Com
Why did the bird fall out of the sky!?
Because it was dead!. do i win!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Because it was dead!. do i win!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Good luck!.Www@Enter-QA@Com