2 great jokes?!
Question: 2 great jokes!?
1)Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence!. The farmer shoots one!. How many are left!?"
Little Johnny: "None!."
Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence!. The farmer shoots one!. How many are left!?"
Little Johnny: "None!."
Teacher: "Can you explain that answer!?"
Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away!. There are none left!."
Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think"
Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question!?"
Teacher: "Sure!."
Little Johnny: "There are three women at the ice cream parlor!. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone!. Which one is married!?"
Teacher: "The one sucking the cone!."
Little Johnny; "No!. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think!."
2)A first grade teacher was trying to stimulate creative thinking in her pupils!. She stood in front of the class with her hands behind her back and said, "I'm holding something behind my back!. It's round and it fits in the palm of my hand!. Who can guess what it is!?"
Billy's hand went up and he asked, "Is it a baseball!?"
"No, Billy," replied the teacher, "It's not a baseball!. But you're thinking, and I like that!."
Suzy's hand went up and she asked, "Is it an orange!?"
"No, Suzy," replied the teacher, "It's not an orange!. But you're thinking, and I like that!."
Then Johnny spoke up: "Hey, teach, I don't know what you got in your hand, but I got something for you in my pocket!. It's long and hard and pink on one end!."
Shocked, the teacher cried, "Johnny, that's disgusting! You march yourself to the principals office right this instant!"
"Hey, relax," said Johnny!. "I was talking about my pencil!.!.!. But you're thinking, and I like that!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Little Johnny: "None!."
Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence!. The farmer shoots one!. How many are left!?"
Little Johnny: "None!."
Teacher: "Can you explain that answer!?"
Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away!. There are none left!."
Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think"
Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question!?"
Teacher: "Sure!."
Little Johnny: "There are three women at the ice cream parlor!. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone!. Which one is married!?"
Teacher: "The one sucking the cone!."
Little Johnny; "No!. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think!."
2)A first grade teacher was trying to stimulate creative thinking in her pupils!. She stood in front of the class with her hands behind her back and said, "I'm holding something behind my back!. It's round and it fits in the palm of my hand!. Who can guess what it is!?"
Billy's hand went up and he asked, "Is it a baseball!?"
"No, Billy," replied the teacher, "It's not a baseball!. But you're thinking, and I like that!."
Suzy's hand went up and she asked, "Is it an orange!?"
"No, Suzy," replied the teacher, "It's not an orange!. But you're thinking, and I like that!."
Then Johnny spoke up: "Hey, teach, I don't know what you got in your hand, but I got something for you in my pocket!. It's long and hard and pink on one end!."
Shocked, the teacher cried, "Johnny, that's disgusting! You march yourself to the principals office right this instant!"
"Hey, relax," said Johnny!. "I was talking about my pencil!.!.!. But you're thinking, and I like that!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
well Johnny he was a hell of a guy
i was always using his rubbers
so if you see him
thank him
and tell him one was useless it had a hole in it
now i have a sonWww@Enter-QA@Com
i was always using his rubbers
so if you see him
thank him
and tell him one was useless it had a hole in it
now i have a sonWww@Enter-QA@Com
Heard them before, quite entertaining, although little Johnny is really a bit of a perv tbh!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I didnt know 1st graders were so sexually active these days!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Oh my gosh! That's hilarious! LOL!Www@Enter-QA@Com
VERY FUNNY!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
boy that Johnny is a character!Www@Enter-QA@Com
hahahha!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
ROFL these are hilarious jokes!! good job!! starz 4 u!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
THAT"S GREAT!Www@Enter-QA@Com
cute!. Johnny's a lil perv!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I heard the first one before!. but they were both funny!. lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
haha good one lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
lmao nice =]Www@Enter-QA@Com
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
omg!.!.!.!.!.very funny
excellent!.!.!.awesome!.!.!.!.made my day!.!.!.made me lol!.!.!.good job!.!.!.keep up the good jokes!!.!.!.funny!.!.!.still wiping my tears from laughing so hard
A third grade teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in
a
sentence!.
Molly said!. "My family went to the New York City Zoo and we saw all the
animals!. It was fascinating!."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
"fascinate"!.
Sally raised her hand!. She said, "My family went to the Statue of
Liberty
and I was fascinated!."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good, Sally, but I want the word
’fascinate!.’"
Johnny raised his hand!. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted
for
his bad language!. She finally decided there was no way he could damage
the
word ’fascinate’, so she called on him!.
Johnny said, "My sister has a sweater with ten buttons, but her **** are
so
big, she can only fasten eight!."
The teacher fainted!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!!!
The teacher told the class that today they’d be guessing objects from physical description!. She said, "I will hold an object under my desk and physically describe it to you, and then class, you have to tell me what you think it is I have under my desk!." First the teacher said, "I have something long and yellow, what is it!?" Sally raises her hand and the teacher calls on her, "What do you think it is Sally!?" "It’s a banana", replied Sally!. "No, it’s a pencil" said the teacher, "But I like the way you think!." Next the teacher said, "I’m holding something round and red, what is it!?" Billy raises his hand and the teacher calls on him, "What do you think it is Billy!?" "It’s a tomato" says Billy!. "No, it’s an apple" says the teacher, "but I like the way you think!." Little Johnny raises his hand so the teacher calls on him and says, "Yes Little Johnny!." "Well Ms!. Smith, I have one for you" says Little Johnny!. "Okay says the teacher!." "What’s round, hard, and has a head!?" replied Little Johnny!. "Oh no, Little Johnny that is not appropriate for school at all!." says the teacher!. "It’s a quarter" says Little Johnny, "but I like the way you think!."
Little Johnny’s father said, "let me see your report card!."
Johnny replied, "I don’t have it!."
"Why not!?" asked His father!.
"My friend borrowed!. He wants to scare his parents!."
Little Johnny’s in class one day, and the teacher calls on students to name things that are not good to put in their mouths!. Little Johnny raises his hand, and the teacher calls on him!. "A lit light bulb," he says!. The teacher says, "Well, you’re right, but do you know why it’s not good for you!?" Little Johnny says, "No, I don’t know why, but my mom always tell my dad, ’Turn the light off before you put it in my mouth!’"
tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals!.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person!. "Yes," said the policeman!.
"The detectives want very badly to capture him!."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
excellent!.!.!.awesome!.!.!.!.made my day!.!.!.made me lol!.!.!.good job!.!.!.keep up the good jokes!!.!.!.funny!.!.!.still wiping my tears from laughing so hard
A third grade teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in
a
sentence!.
Molly said!. "My family went to the New York City Zoo and we saw all the
animals!. It was fascinating!."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
"fascinate"!.
Sally raised her hand!. She said, "My family went to the Statue of
Liberty
and I was fascinated!."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good, Sally, but I want the word
’fascinate!.’"
Johnny raised his hand!. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted
for
his bad language!. She finally decided there was no way he could damage
the
word ’fascinate’, so she called on him!.
Johnny said, "My sister has a sweater with ten buttons, but her **** are
so
big, she can only fasten eight!."
The teacher fainted!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!!!
The teacher told the class that today they’d be guessing objects from physical description!. She said, "I will hold an object under my desk and physically describe it to you, and then class, you have to tell me what you think it is I have under my desk!." First the teacher said, "I have something long and yellow, what is it!?" Sally raises her hand and the teacher calls on her, "What do you think it is Sally!?" "It’s a banana", replied Sally!. "No, it’s a pencil" said the teacher, "But I like the way you think!." Next the teacher said, "I’m holding something round and red, what is it!?" Billy raises his hand and the teacher calls on him, "What do you think it is Billy!?" "It’s a tomato" says Billy!. "No, it’s an apple" says the teacher, "but I like the way you think!." Little Johnny raises his hand so the teacher calls on him and says, "Yes Little Johnny!." "Well Ms!. Smith, I have one for you" says Little Johnny!. "Okay says the teacher!." "What’s round, hard, and has a head!?" replied Little Johnny!. "Oh no, Little Johnny that is not appropriate for school at all!." says the teacher!. "It’s a quarter" says Little Johnny, "but I like the way you think!."
Little Johnny’s father said, "let me see your report card!."
Johnny replied, "I don’t have it!."
"Why not!?" asked His father!.
"My friend borrowed!. He wants to scare his parents!."
Little Johnny’s in class one day, and the teacher calls on students to name things that are not good to put in their mouths!. Little Johnny raises his hand, and the teacher calls on him!. "A lit light bulb," he says!. The teacher says, "Well, you’re right, but do you know why it’s not good for you!?" Little Johnny says, "No, I don’t know why, but my mom always tell my dad, ’Turn the light off before you put it in my mouth!’"
tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals!.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person!. "Yes," said the policeman!.
"The detectives want very badly to capture him!."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com