Hheheh...murphy has cancer! did u hear this one before?!
Question: Hheheh!.!.!.murphy has cancer! did u hear this one before!?
An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness!. The
doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the
eye and said, "I've some bad news for you!.!.!.you have the cancer and
it can't be cured!. I'd give you two weeks to a month!. Murphy shocked
and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose
himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room!. Where
he saw his son who had been waiting!. Murphy said, "Son, we Irish
celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't go so
well!. In this case, things aren't so well!. I have cancer and I've
been given a short time to live!. Let's head for the pub and have a few
pints!."
After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less
somber!. There were some laughs and more beers!. They were eventually
approached by some of Murphy's old friends who asked what the two were
celebrating!. Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and
the bad!.!.!. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his
impending end!. He told his friends "I've only got a few weeks to live
as I have been diagnosed with AIDS!."
The friends gave Murphy their condolences and they had a couple more
beers!. After his friends left, Murphy's son leaned over and whispered
his confusion!. "Dad I thought you said that you were dying from
cancer!? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!."
Murphy said, "I am dying from cancer son, I just don't want any of
them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the
eye and said, "I've some bad news for you!.!.!.you have the cancer and
it can't be cured!. I'd give you two weeks to a month!. Murphy shocked
and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose
himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room!. Where
he saw his son who had been waiting!. Murphy said, "Son, we Irish
celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't go so
well!. In this case, things aren't so well!. I have cancer and I've
been given a short time to live!. Let's head for the pub and have a few
pints!."
After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less
somber!. There were some laughs and more beers!. They were eventually
approached by some of Murphy's old friends who asked what the two were
celebrating!. Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and
the bad!.!.!. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his
impending end!. He told his friends "I've only got a few weeks to live
as I have been diagnosed with AIDS!."
The friends gave Murphy their condolences and they had a couple more
beers!. After his friends left, Murphy's son leaned over and whispered
his confusion!. "Dad I thought you said that you were dying from
cancer!? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!."
Murphy said, "I am dying from cancer son, I just don't want any of
them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
great joke thanks lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
Tricky bugger!. Very good!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
LMAO!!!!!!!!!! UNexpected answer!!! Hilarious!!
thanks for the laugh!Www@Enter-QA@Com
thanks for the laugh!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Ahahaha!
Awww, I liked that!!! =DWww@Enter-QA@Com
Awww, I liked that!!! =DWww@Enter-QA@Com
Veyr cheeky ;)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Thats great!!! hahaha loved it! thanks for the laughs love!! ?Www@Enter-QA@Com
ha ok but will and i will use a condom haWww@Enter-QA@Com
HAHA
nice joke thereWww@Enter-QA@Com
nice joke thereWww@Enter-QA@Com
funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!.!.!. lol!!!!!!! rock on!Www@Enter-QA@Com
wow!. greatWww@Enter-QA@Com
nice joke thanksWww@Enter-QA@Com
lmao niceWww@Enter-QA@Com
Oh yeah,,an oldie,,,still good,,Www@Enter-QA@Com
we irish are not all like that!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.okay we are!Www@Enter-QA@Com
how abt this!?!?
this girl just turned 21 and walked in to a bar!. this old man named red was sitting on the stool next to her!. he thought that a fine looking girl like her in a run down shitty bar would have to be looking to make $20!. out of no where red looks and her and says
"have you or do you want to play elevator!?"
she replies "what the hell is elevator!?"
red says " well if i can get this viagra to get me up you will go down!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
this girl just turned 21 and walked in to a bar!. this old man named red was sitting on the stool next to her!. he thought that a fine looking girl like her in a run down shitty bar would have to be looking to make $20!. out of no where red looks and her and says
"have you or do you want to play elevator!?"
she replies "what the hell is elevator!?"
red says " well if i can get this viagra to get me up you will go down!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Great joke, my bosses name is Daniel Murphy lol!.!.
Into an Irish pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train!. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp!.
"What happened to you!?" asks Sean, the bartender!.
"Jamie O'Connor and me had a fight," says Paddy!.
"That little ****, O'Connor!?" asks Sean!. "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand!."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it!."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have anything in your hand!?"
"That I did," said Paddy!. "Mrs!. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Into an Irish pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train!. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp!.
"What happened to you!?" asks Sean, the bartender!.
"Jamie O'Connor and me had a fight," says Paddy!.
"That little ****, O'Connor!?" asks Sean!. "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand!."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it!."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have anything in your hand!?"
"That I did," said Paddy!. "Mrs!. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
omg!.!.!.!.!.very funny
excellent!.!.!.awesome!.!.!.!.!.!.!.made me lol!.!.!.good job!.!.!.keep up the good jokes
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After to rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.!.!.
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
excellent!.!.!.awesome!.!.!.!.!.!.!.made me lol!.!.!.good job!.!.!.keep up the good jokes
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After to rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.!.!.
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com