Can someone make ME laugh??10 POINTS for the best joke!?!


Question: Can someone make ME laugh!?!?10 POINTS for the best joke!!?
Answers:
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Two guys meet up in a bar!. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead!?!?!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him!?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window!."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all!. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor!. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up!. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones!."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that!. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor!. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him!."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that!. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen!. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him!."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him!."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that!.!.!."

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die!?"

"I shot him!"

"You shot him!? What the hell did you shoot him for!?"

"He was wrecking my house!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

a guy walks into a bar and says ouch!
what did the guy say when he lost his tractor " where's my tarctor"
what happened to the guy who fell off the cliff, he died,
what happened to the man who fell off the cliff!.!.!. evryone shout out he died, i shout out"NO he fell of the cliff hehehe"
why didnt the skeletong go on the rolercoster, because he had no guts!.

I hope thats enough for youWww@Enter-QA@Com

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem!. It's not the photographer's fault!. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me!. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside!. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here!.

I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was "HH", so I went to the side, I found the "H" button, I pushed it twice!. Fu**in'!.!.!.potato chips came out man, 'cause they had a "HH" button, for Christ's sakes! You need to let me know!. I'm not familiar with the concept of "HH"!. I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's!. God god da**it da**itWww@Enter-QA@Com

One evening,a vampire walks into a restaurant!.
He calls the waiter and asks for a glass of water!.The waiter, surprised,asks if he wants something with the water!.
"NO" he replies,"i have a tea bag"
He then removes a pad from his pocket!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

I'm sure you u won't laugh to keep ur 10 points saved, so I quit the attempt to make u laugh!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

go to this website http://www!.coolfunnyjokes!.com/Www@Enter-QA@Com

According to Yahoo Answers, such questions are not allowed!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

My paycheck! That's a real joke!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

here is a dirty joke!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.

Laying Off Sarah or Jack

Mr!. Smith owned a small business!. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack!. They were both extremely good employees - always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed!.

Mr!. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn't making enough money to warrant two employees and he would have to lay one off!. But both Sarah and Jack were such good workers he was having trouble finding a fair way to do it!. He decided that he would watch them work and the first one to take a break would be the one he would lay off!.

So, he sat in his office and watched them work!. Suddenly, Sarah gets a terrible headache and needs to take an aspirin!. She gets the aspirin out of her purse and goes to the water cooler to get something to wash it down with!. Mr!. Smith follows her to the water cooler, taps her on the shoulder and says, "Sarah, I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off!."

And Sarah says, "Can you jack off!? I have a headache!"


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Boy or Girl!?

There were women waiting in a doctor's office!.

They started talking and one women said, "I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom last time and I had a girl!. I was on the bottom again this time so I'm going to have another girl!."

One of the other ladies said, "I'm going to have a boy, I was on the top!."

The last lady started to cry!.
The two other ladies asked, "Why are you crying!?"
She replied, "I'm going to have puppies!!!


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Blew Chunks

There's this man who drinks beer at a local bar every night!. One night, he came in and had nothing to drink!. The bartender was curious and asked him why he wasn't drinking anything!.

The man replied, "I don't drink anymore!.!.!. Last night, I blew chunks!."

"Oh that's nothing", the bartender replies!. "Everyone gets a little sick after drinking at times!"

"No, No", the man replies!. "You don't understand!. Chunks is my dog!


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Pain Divider

A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth!. The doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd like to try it!. The machine would take some of the woman's pain away and give it to the father thereby easing the mothers burden!.

The couple thought it was a good idea and agreed to give it a try!. The Doc set it on 10% to begin with, telling the man that 10% was still probably more pain than he had ever felt!. The man was surprised at how little pain he was feeling and asked for it to be increased!. The doctor turned it up to 20% with the same results!. This trend continued until the machine was set at 100%!.

After the delivery both mother and father felt fine!. The wife was relieved at having an almost painless labor and the father was still amazed at how little pain was actually involved!. Later, when they took the baby home, they found the mailman dead on their doorstep!.


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College Sweaters

Three women at the doctors office!. The first one goes in to see the doctor!. When the doctor goes to examine her he notices a big "Y" on her chest!.

The doctor asks, "Why do you have a big "Y" on your chest!?"

She replies, "Well, my boyfriend went to Yale and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater!."

The doctor nods and continues on with the next patient!. When he examines her he notices a big "H" on her chest!.

Agian, the doctor asks, "How did you get a big "H" on your chest!?" The woman replys "My husband went to Harvard and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater!."

The doctors just nods his head and continues on with the last patient!. As he examines her he notices once again that this woman also has a letter on her chest!. A large "M"!.

He says, "Dont tell me, your boyfriend went to Michigan!?"

"No !.!.!. " replies the patient!. "But my girlfriend went to Wisconsin"Www@Enter-QA@Com



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