EVER HERD THIS ONE?>.....{joke}?!
Question: EVER HERD THIS ONE!?>!.!.!.!.!.{joke}!?
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset -- "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried!. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you!. I want a divorce straight away!"
And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute Love, so at least I can tell you what happened!."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll ever say to me!!
And the husband began --
"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift!. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car!. I noticed that she
was thin, poorly dressed and very dirty!. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days !
1 day ago
Additional Details
1 day ago
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night - the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight!. The poor thing devoured them in moments!. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away!. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, But don't use because you say they are too tight!. I also gave her the underwear that was your Anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste!. I went and found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas - the one that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at that expensive shoe boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same!."
1 day ago
The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to
the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute Love, so at least I can tell you what happened!."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll ever say to me!!
And the husband began --
"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift!. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car!. I noticed that she
was thin, poorly dressed and very dirty!. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days !
1 day ago
Additional Details
1 day ago
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night - the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight!. The poor thing devoured them in moments!. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away!. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, But don't use because you say they are too tight!. I also gave her the underwear that was your Anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste!. I went and found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas - the one that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at that expensive shoe boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same!."
1 day ago
The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to
the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
man u deserve a star *!.!.!.!.!.!. hey we guys so we can make up stuff like that in secs!. rite!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
cute, have a star!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Dirty but funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Naughty but funny! 100!Www@Enter-QA@Com
poor guy he was just making the rust out of things!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
making use of unused things !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
making use of unused things !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Oh Hell she must have just shut up,it's dirty but ohhh so nice thanks for the laugh and I'd love to contact you but I can't seeing you don't allow e-mail!.xxxxWww@Enter-QA@Com
YesWww@Enter-QA@Com
Its horible!. Thats sooooo sad, and rude at the same time!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
very good thanksWww@Enter-QA@Com
OH! that burned her!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
LOL *star 4 u*Www@Enter-QA@Com
Star my man lol!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
lmao good one
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses come together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they come together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After to rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses come together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they come together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After to rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."Www@Enter-QA@Com