Does anyone know any reallyy good jokes?!


Question: Does anyone know any reallyy good jokes!?
just post them here!.!.!.thanks
best joke gets 5pointsWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
A businessman meets a beautiful girl!?
and agrees to spend the afternoon with her for $500!. So they do!. Before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but that he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment, "Rent For Apartment!."

On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price!. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and encloses the following typed note:

"Dear Madam,

Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment!. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:

1) It had never been occupied;
2) There was plenty of heat;
3) It was small enough to make me cozy and at home!.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large!."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

"Dear Sir,

First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely!. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on!. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed regular, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the landlady!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Smart-*** Answer #1:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets!.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

his trench coat and flashed her!. Without missing a beat!.!.!.she said,

Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub!."



Smart-*** Answer #2:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

couldn't find one big enough for her family!. She asked a stock boy,

"Do these turkeys get any bigger!?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're
dead!."



Smart-*** Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled

down his window!. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said!. The kid

replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could!." When the cop finally

stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket!.



Smart-*** Answer #4:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway!. A sign comes up that reads,

Low bridge ahead'!. Before he knows it, the bridge

is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge!. Cars are backed up

for miles!. Finally, a police car comes up!. The cop gets out of his car

and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got

stuck, huh!?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran

out of gas!."




and finally, the

SMART-*** ANSWER OF THE YEAR:


A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's

final exam!. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

tomorrow!. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses

whatsoever!" A smart-*** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
asked,

"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and

utter sexual exhaustion!?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering!. When silence is

restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head,and

sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Try this one:-

Kung Chow called his boss and said "Hey boss I not work today, I got headache, stomach ache, leg hurt, I not come to work"

The boss says " Kung Chow I really need you to work today!. When I feel sick like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex!. That makes me feel a lot better and I can go back to work!.!.!. You should try it!."

Two hours later Kung Chow arrives at work looking and feeling great!.
He says " Hey boss, you got a mighty fine house!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

Its Saturday night and three sisters are going out with their boyfriends!.
"Bye, Mum," the first sister says "I'm going out with Chaz to listen to Jazz!."
Moments later the second sister says "Bye, Mum!. I'm going out with Lance to dance!."
The third sister walks in an announces: "Bye, Mum I'm going out with Chuck!.!.!."
"Stop right there!" her mum exclaims!. "Your going nowhere, young lady!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

This will make you cringe, laugh or cringe and laugh!!

A man gets home from working a nightshift & decides to wake his wife by giving her oral sex!. He climbs under the bottom of the duvet, gently spreads her legs & and licks her p!.u!.s!.s!.y til she quivers & comes over his face!. He goes to the bathroom to clean up and finds his wife there shaving her legs!. WHAT THE FCUK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, he yells!, shhhh says his wife, you'll wake your mother!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Theres 3 girls, a blond, a brunette and a ginger stuck on an island!. The ginger said "im swimming of this island" but only got 10 miles and drown, the same happened with the brunette buh the blond swam 15 miles and got tired so she swam back!. lol!Www@Enter-QA@Com

norwich beat madrid 1-0 in the champians league final!.

only then do they stop doing their sister and eating delia smiths fattening foods to celebrate!.

IPSWICH TOWN RULE 2
CANARIES DROOL1Www@Enter-QA@Com

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