Any jokes please?!


Question: Any jokes please!?
I need a laugh!. 10 points for the best one!Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
When I was a toddler, someone gave me a little Tea Set as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys!. My father was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of tea, which was just water, of course!.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home!. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, “Just the cutest thing!”

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy!.

She watches him drink it up and then says, “Did it ever occur to you that the only place that a toddler can reach to get water is the toilet!?”
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed, not able to sleep because of the neighbors constantly barking dog!. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours!. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, ‘I’ve had enough of this!’

She goes downstairs!. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, ‘The dog is still barking, what have you been doing!?’ The blonde says, ‘I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it!.’
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A police station in Alabama:

Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office!?'

'Yes!. What can I do for you!?

'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith!.!.!.!.He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there!.'

'Thank you very much for the call, sir!.'

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house!. They search the shed where the firewood is kept!. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana!. They sneer at Virgil and leave!.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house!.

'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd!.!.!.!.Did the Sheriff come!?'

'Yeah!'

'Did they chop your firewood!?'

'Yep!'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'
……………………………
Father: When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace!.

Son: When Lincoln was your age, he was the President!.
……………………………Www@Enter-QA@Com

Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave!. I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' he would tell me to take a few days off!.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises!.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing!.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so that the
boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off!.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing!?' I told him I was a light bulb!. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out!.' Go home and recuperate for a couple of days!.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office!.!.!.
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,'!.!.
And where do you think you're going!.!.!.!.
She replied "im going home, you cant possibly expect me to work in thr dark!"



Joke #2
HOW THE FIGHT STARTED

I rear-ended a car this morning!. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car!. !. !. and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny!?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it !. !. !. !. !. !. he was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and angrily says, " I 'M NOT HAPPY! "
So, I look down at him and say, 'Well, then which one are you!?'
That's when the fight started !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Bruce was dying!. Sheila sat at the bedside!. He looked up and said weakly: "I have something I must confess before I die!."
"There's no need to, " she replied!. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace!. I must tell you!. I've rooted your sister, your best mate, her best mate, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied, " now just rest and let the poison do its work!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

did you hear the one about the blonde that went to "Jokes & Riddles" & asked for jokes & riddles, instead of reading the jokes & riddles!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

go to www!.google!.com and type funny jokes!.!.!.
or www!.jijasali!.comWww@Enter-QA@Com

Hi, why don't you just go into the jokes and riddles category and look for yourself!? Plenty of jokes there!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

what do you get if you cross a prostitute with an elephant!?
a chick that will screw you for peanuts and never forget your name!Www@Enter-QA@Com

A sandwich walks into a pub and orders a drink!. The barkeep says, "Sorry mate, we don't serve food here!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

how do you make a pool table laugh!?
tickle its ballsWww@Enter-QA@Com



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