Funniest joke you've ever heard? 10 points for the funniest(for me)?!
Question: Funniest joke you've ever heard!? 10 points for the funniest(for me)!?
can you post some!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
You are so fat, when you step on a weighing scale, I see my handphone number!
You are so fat, when you walk past my living room, I miss 3 movies!
You are so fat when you bungee jump, you jump straight to hell!
You are so fat when you jump into the ocean, the whale sing"We are family"Www@Enter-QA@Com
You are so fat, when you walk past my living room, I miss 3 movies!
You are so fat when you bungee jump, you jump straight to hell!
You are so fat when you jump into the ocean, the whale sing"We are family"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Three ducks were swimming in a pond after midnight and were arrested for trespassing!. The next morning, they were called to appear in court!. The judge called in duck number one and said, "What where you doing in the pond after midnight!?"
"I was blowing bubbles!." The judge then called in duck number two and asked him the same question!. "Judge, I was blowing bubbles!."
He then called in duck number three and said, "So let me quess — you were blowing bubbles too!?"
"No, I'm Bubbles!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
"I was blowing bubbles!." The judge then called in duck number two and asked him the same question!. "Judge, I was blowing bubbles!."
He then called in duck number three and said, "So let me quess — you were blowing bubbles too!?"
"No, I'm Bubbles!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A guy walks in for his interview!. The interviewer asks,
- "Whats the first thing you notice about me!?"
The guy responds,
- "Why, You don't have any ears!."
Interviewer:
- "Get out! Send in the next guy!."
2nd guy walks in for his interview!. The interviewer asks,
- "Whats the first thing you notice about me!?"
The guy responds,
- "Why, You don't have any ears!."
Interviewer:
- "Get out! Send in the next guy!."
This guy on the way out says to the 3rd guy
- "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out!."
3rd guy walks in for his interview!. The interviewer asks,
- "Whats the first thing you notice about me!?"
The guy looks at the interviewer intently for a few seconds and responds,
- "Why, you wear contact lenses don't you!."
The interviewer says,
- "That's impressive that you're so observant!. How could you tell I wear contact lenses!?"
3rd guy
- "Because you don't have any damn ears to hang glasses on!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
- "Whats the first thing you notice about me!?"
The guy responds,
- "Why, You don't have any ears!."
Interviewer:
- "Get out! Send in the next guy!."
2nd guy walks in for his interview!. The interviewer asks,
- "Whats the first thing you notice about me!?"
The guy responds,
- "Why, You don't have any ears!."
Interviewer:
- "Get out! Send in the next guy!."
This guy on the way out says to the 3rd guy
- "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out!."
3rd guy walks in for his interview!. The interviewer asks,
- "Whats the first thing you notice about me!?"
The guy looks at the interviewer intently for a few seconds and responds,
- "Why, you wear contact lenses don't you!."
The interviewer says,
- "That's impressive that you're so observant!. How could you tell I wear contact lenses!?"
3rd guy
- "Because you don't have any damn ears to hang glasses on!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup!.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard!?
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up!?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller!.
~~~~~~~
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here!. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor!.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions !.
~~~~~~~~
Man : How old is your father!?
Boy : As old as me!.
Man : How can that be!?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born!.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House:
"Married MEN Not Allowed!.
We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs!?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone!.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop!?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste!?
Customer : No, I can't!.
Waiter : Then does it really matter !?
HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINEWww@Enter-QA@Com
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard!?
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up!?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller!.
~~~~~~~
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here!. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor!.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions !.
~~~~~~~~
Man : How old is your father!?
Boy : As old as me!.
Man : How can that be!?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born!.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House:
"Married MEN Not Allowed!.
We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs!?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone!.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop!?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste!?
Customer : No, I can't!.
Waiter : Then does it really matter !?
HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINEWww@Enter-QA@Com
Blonde Joke!?
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch!. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble!. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock!. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale!.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home!."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it!. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less!.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news!. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch!. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home!."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word!."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left!. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word!. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable!.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head!. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'!?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slowWww@Enter-QA@Com
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch!. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble!. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock!. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale!.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home!."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it!. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less!.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news!. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch!. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home!."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word!."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left!. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word!. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable!.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head!. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'!?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slowWww@Enter-QA@Com
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk!.
Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk!.
Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles!Www@Enter-QA@Com
One Man's Dilemma!.!.!.**
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt,
A button fell off!.
After that, I picked up my briefcase,
And the handle fell off!.
Then I went to open the door, and the
Doorknob fell off!.
I went to get into my car, and the door
Handle came off in my hand!.
Now I'm afraid to pee!. *Www@Enter-QA@Com
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt,
A button fell off!.
After that, I picked up my briefcase,
And the handle fell off!.
Then I went to open the door, and the
Doorknob fell off!.
I went to get into my car, and the door
Handle came off in my hand!.
Now I'm afraid to pee!. *Www@Enter-QA@Com
what's the definiton of a nervous wreck!? a man who has a house payment, truck payment, a wife & a girlfriend!.AND THEY'RE ALL A MONTH LATE!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Your so dumb you sold your car for GAS money!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
why did tigger put his head in the toilet
because he was looking for poohWww@Enter-QA@Com
because he was looking for poohWww@Enter-QA@Com
Why did the chicken cross the road!?!
To get to the other side!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
To get to the other side!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com