Best Jokes win?!
Question: Best Jokes win!?
The funnies joke wins the 10 ptsWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter on the wall over the bed!.
With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:"It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped
with my new boyfriend!. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle!. But is not only that Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will very happy in his trailer in the woods!. He wants to have
many more children with me and that's one of my dreams!. I've learned that marijuana
doesn't hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want!. In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to
find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it!. Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now
and I know how to take care of myself!. Someday I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren!.
Your daughter,
Judith
PS:
Mom, it's not true!. I'm at the neighbor's house!. I just wanted to show you that there are worst this in life than my report card that's in the desk drawer!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:"It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped
with my new boyfriend!. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle!. But is not only that Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will very happy in his trailer in the woods!. He wants to have
many more children with me and that's one of my dreams!. I've learned that marijuana
doesn't hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want!. In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to
find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it!. Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now
and I know how to take care of myself!. Someday I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren!.
Your daughter,
Judith
PS:
Mom, it's not true!. I'm at the neighbor's house!. I just wanted to show you that there are worst this in life than my report card that's in the desk drawer!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol, here's a joke, please don't flag me!.
Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer,
and at the appropriate point in the process,
the computer advised him that he would now,
need to enter a password!.
Something he will use to log on!.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and
figured he would try for the shock effect
to bring this to his wife's attention!.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password,
he made it plainly obvious to his wife,
what he was entering by stating each
letter out loud as he typed :
P!.!.!. E!.!.!. N!.!.!. I!.!.!. S!.
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
*** PASSWORD REJECTED!. NOT LONG ENOUGH***Www@Enter-QA@Com
Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer,
and at the appropriate point in the process,
the computer advised him that he would now,
need to enter a password!.
Something he will use to log on!.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and
figured he would try for the shock effect
to bring this to his wife's attention!.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password,
he made it plainly obvious to his wife,
what he was entering by stating each
letter out loud as he typed :
P!.!.!. E!.!.!. N!.!.!. I!.!.!. S!.
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
*** PASSWORD REJECTED!. NOT LONG ENOUGH***Www@Enter-QA@Com
OK, so there was Mr!. Bear and Mr!. Rabbit!. They were great friends!. Then Mr!. Bear had to poop so he pooped!. A little chunk hit the poor rabbit on the paw!. "Oh I'm sorry, do you mind if you get some poop on you!?" said Mr!. Bear!. "It's fine," said Mr!. Rabbit!. So Mr!. Bear took Mr!. Rabbit and used him as toilet paper!.
Now Mr!. Rabbit really hates Mr!. Bear!. They see a magical frog and it says they each have 3 wishes!. The bear immediately says, "I wish every bear in this forest was a girl!." Mr!. Rabbit, thinking carefully, says, "I wish I had a motorcycle!." Mr!. Bear says, "I wish every bear in the WORLD was a girl!." Mr!. Rabbit says, "I wish I had a helmet fit for me!." Mr!. Bear says, "I wish every girl bear loved me and wanted to mate with me!." The frog told Mr!. Bear all the wishes were granted!. Mr!. Rabbit hopped on the motorcycle, put on his helmet, revved the engine, yells, "I wish Mr!. Bear was gay!!" and drives off!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Now Mr!. Rabbit really hates Mr!. Bear!. They see a magical frog and it says they each have 3 wishes!. The bear immediately says, "I wish every bear in this forest was a girl!." Mr!. Rabbit, thinking carefully, says, "I wish I had a motorcycle!." Mr!. Bear says, "I wish every bear in the WORLD was a girl!." Mr!. Rabbit says, "I wish I had a helmet fit for me!." Mr!. Bear says, "I wish every girl bear loved me and wanted to mate with me!." The frog told Mr!. Bear all the wishes were granted!. Mr!. Rabbit hopped on the motorcycle, put on his helmet, revved the engine, yells, "I wish Mr!. Bear was gay!!" and drives off!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
hi,here is how it goes
a Canadian guy walk in a bar and saw a east Indian man
the Canadian guy asked the ei what is he eating!.he reply bread
the Canadian guy reply that the ball that they use and is used up they recycled it and it turns bread for the ei to eat,the ei felt bad
the Canadian guy asked again what are u drinking,the ei says that he is drinking ginger beer,the Canadian said that when they finish urinating the preserved it and it turns ginger beer for the ei to drink!.
now the ei couldn't take it any longer so he asked the canadian guy what is he chewing,the canadian guy says that he is chewing gum,the ei reply saying that when they are finish using their condoms they turned it into gums for the canadians to chew!.
the canadian man feld bad and left the bar
p s:ei- means east Indian!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
a Canadian guy walk in a bar and saw a east Indian man
the Canadian guy asked the ei what is he eating!.he reply bread
the Canadian guy reply that the ball that they use and is used up they recycled it and it turns bread for the ei to eat,the ei felt bad
the Canadian guy asked again what are u drinking,the ei says that he is drinking ginger beer,the Canadian said that when they finish urinating the preserved it and it turns ginger beer for the ei to drink!.
now the ei couldn't take it any longer so he asked the canadian guy what is he chewing,the canadian guy says that he is chewing gum,the ei reply saying that when they are finish using their condoms they turned it into gums for the canadians to chew!.
the canadian man feld bad and left the bar
p s:ei- means east Indian!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
internet gone wrong:
a retired couple was planning to spend the rest of their life in florida, but the husband had to stay behind for some last minute buisness deals so the wife went ahead without him!. as soon as she arrived she sent an email to her hubby!. but she missed a letter in the email address and accidently sent it to a widow who had jsut lost his wife in a tragic accident!.
police were called to the widowers place a few minutes later, to find him dead by a heart attake- they looked at the computer screen and saw the email from the wife of the retired couple--it read!. !. !. !.
hey hunny-
everythings ready for your arrival tomrrow!.
ps!. sure is hot down here!!!
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
a retired couple was planning to spend the rest of their life in florida, but the husband had to stay behind for some last minute buisness deals so the wife went ahead without him!. as soon as she arrived she sent an email to her hubby!. but she missed a letter in the email address and accidently sent it to a widow who had jsut lost his wife in a tragic accident!.
police were called to the widowers place a few minutes later, to find him dead by a heart attake- they looked at the computer screen and saw the email from the wife of the retired couple--it read!. !. !. !.
hey hunny-
everythings ready for your arrival tomrrow!.
ps!. sure is hot down here!!!
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
So, a little boy was watching a movie!. Then he sees that the woman screams, "i'll get what i want when i want!" then rips off her blouse!. The little boys thinks of this and turns off the TV!. So, he runs out of the house and goes to his neighbor's house!. A little girl answers, and the little boy says, "I'll get what I want, when I want!" then rips off the little girl's blouse!.
Calmly, the little girl says, "you'll get what you want when you want when i get it!."
LOL thIS MADe me laugh!. Hope it did too for you!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Calmly, the little girl says, "you'll get what you want when you want when i get it!."
LOL thIS MADe me laugh!. Hope it did too for you!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Three man are on a cliff and a genie come up and says "whatever you say,you will land in 30 tons of it if you jump off the cliff!." The first man says Money and he lands in a bunch of money!.The second man says gold and he lands in a bunch of gold!. The third man tripped over a rock and said "Oh Sh**!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday!. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the result!. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around!. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am!?" "About 35," was the reply!.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy!.
After that she went into McDonalds for lunch, and asked the order taker the same question, to which the reply was, "Oh you look about 29!?"
"I am actually 47!." That made her feel really good!.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question!.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going!. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age!. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age!."
As there was no one around, the woman thought, "What the hell", and let him slip his hand up her skirt!. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "Ok, You are 47!."
Stunned the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that!?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds!"
Sorry if it was a little graphicWww@Enter-QA@Com
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy!.
After that she went into McDonalds for lunch, and asked the order taker the same question, to which the reply was, "Oh you look about 29!?"
"I am actually 47!." That made her feel really good!.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question!.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going!. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age!. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age!."
As there was no one around, the woman thought, "What the hell", and let him slip his hand up her skirt!. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "Ok, You are 47!."
Stunned the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that!?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds!"
Sorry if it was a little graphicWww@Enter-QA@Com
What's the last thing you usually hear before a dumb guy dies!?
Hey everyone----- watch this!
Yo' Momma's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons or YO' Momma
In Jauary, Julian brought home a terible report card home!. His mom asked him how can this be so bad!? Julian said you know everythings marked down after the holidays!!
one more: A women may say she has lost her virginity!. That's silly!. She knows exactly who got it!!
hope you have a great day!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Hey everyone----- watch this!
Yo' Momma's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons or YO' Momma
In Jauary, Julian brought home a terible report card home!. His mom asked him how can this be so bad!? Julian said you know everythings marked down after the holidays!!
one more: A women may say she has lost her virginity!. That's silly!. She knows exactly who got it!!
hope you have a great day!Www@Enter-QA@Com
ok so this was a guy walking by a mental hospital, there is a fence around it!. he hears this chanting!.!.!.13!.!.!.13!.!.!.13!.!.!.13 and he was like WTF!?! So he peaks into the hole in the fence and gets poked in the eye!. He was like OWW! that hurt! Then the guy hears 14!.!.!.14!.!.!.14!.!.!.14!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you call it when you come across something black and white, blurred, and not funny!.!.!.!.
A 1950's film!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A 1950's film!Www@Enter-QA@Com
This guy walks into his psychologist's office wearing only a pair of shorts made out of seran wrap!. The psychologist takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see you're nuts!."
Hope that didn't offend youWww@Enter-QA@Com
Hope that didn't offend youWww@Enter-QA@Com
Did you know that Diarrhea is hereditary!?
Yeah,it runs in the jeans!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Yeah,it runs in the jeans!Www@Enter-QA@Com
They should call you german pornstar mouth cuz your full of s**t!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Knok knok,
whos there
boo
boo who
ahh y r u crying!?
LMAO sooo funny lol!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
whos there
boo
boo who
ahh y r u crying!?
LMAO sooo funny lol!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Dirty joke----The pig fell in the mud!Www@Enter-QA@Com
yo momma is so fat!.!.!.her picture fell off the wall!Www@Enter-QA@Com
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly ****!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."
mothers have a day called mothers day, fathers have a day called fathers day so what day do Single men have!? Palm Day!
Did you hear about the old lady that hated flies until she opened one!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly ****!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."
mothers have a day called mothers day, fathers have a day called fathers day so what day do Single men have!? Palm Day!
Did you hear about the old lady that hated flies until she opened one!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you call a blond girl turned up side down!?!?!?
A brunette with a bad breath!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A brunette with a bad breath!Www@Enter-QA@Com