Does anyone have any good jokes to share?!
Question: Does anyone have any good jokes to share!?
Answers:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly ****!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly ****!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Two lovers were talking to each other!.!.!.!.!.
the girl says " who do u like the most!?!?" hoping that " you" would be the answer!.!.!.!.!.but the guy doesn't know what to say!.!.!.!.so he askes the same question to the girl before answering!.!.!.!.!.!.the girl says "ofcourse i like you my dear"!.!.!.!.the guy then answers " oh ya, thats true i also like me myself"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
the girl says " who do u like the most!?!?" hoping that " you" would be the answer!.!.!.!.!.but the guy doesn't know what to say!.!.!.!.so he askes the same question to the girl before answering!.!.!.!.!.!.the girl says "ofcourse i like you my dear"!.!.!.!.the guy then answers " oh ya, thats true i also like me myself"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
a wife gets naked and asks her hubby 'what turns u on more, my pretty face or my sexy body!?' the hubby looks her up and down and replies ' ur ****** sense of humour!'
family of prostitutes havin dinner and the daughter says ' i just got ￡50 4 givin a ********' the mum says 'it was only a fiver in my day' n gran says 'in my day we were just glad of the warm drink!'Www@Enter-QA@Com
family of prostitutes havin dinner and the daughter says ' i just got ￡50 4 givin a ********' the mum says 'it was only a fiver in my day' n gran says 'in my day we were just glad of the warm drink!'Www@Enter-QA@Com
There are some good jokes here!.
http://www!.luvistheanswer!.org/jokes/joke!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://www!.luvistheanswer!.org/jokes/joke!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A preacher once had a beautiful horse and one of the members from his church just loved this horse!. Always joking with him about buying it but he just wouldn't give it up as it was a gift!. But one day he got a notice that he was going to be moved to N!.Y!.C!. Feeling that the horse won't be able to run and enjoy the country life he called his friend and asked if he still wanted the horse!. "Of course, yes, yes!" he said excitingly!. "Well then come on over and we can talk about it!." the preacher said!. In mins the man showed up!. "I have recieved a notice that I'm going to be transfured to New York City!." the preacher said!. "And I don't believe with me living in the city it would be a good place for the horse!." "Yes" the man agreed, "So how much do you want for him!?" "Nothing" the preacher replied, "He was a gift to me so I don't feel selling him would be right!. All I ask is that you take care of him and ride him daily!. Would you do that for me!?" "Of course" came a quick reply, "I will start now and ride him home, get my wife to give me a ride back to pick up my car!." So the deal was done, they got him all saddled up and ready to go!. The man got up on the horse and gave it alittle kick and said, "Gettie up!." But the horse just sat there, he gave it alittle harder kick in the side and said louder, "Gettie Up!." The preacher heard him this time and quickly replied, "Wait, wait, I forgot to tell you!. Being I had this horse from a colt, I had it trained in a specail way!. When you want him to go you just say, 'Praise the Lord!.' And to make him stop just say, 'Amen!." The man smiled and said, "Cool, alright, gettie, I mean Praise the Lord!." The horse started to walk!. "Praise the Lord!." The horse started to walk alittle faster!. When he got him over the hill where the preacher couldn't see him he stared wondering, {I wonder just how fast this horse can really go!?} So he said again, "Praise the Lord!." The horse again started walking even faster!. "Praise the Lord" the horse broke into a gallope, "Praise the Lord" He went into a trot, "Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, PRAISE THE LORD, PRAISE THE LORD!." The horse was at a full run, flying over the hills, wind throwing his hair back!. Then over the hill the man remember a cliff coming up so he started pulling back on the bridel, "wwwhhhhooooooaa" He said, but the horse wouldn't slow at all!. "WWWWhhhhooooooaaaa" He said louder, but still the horse kept running full steam ahead!. "WWWWHHOOOOOOOOOAAAA" He yelled, yanking on the bridel, swatting the horse with his switch on the neck, doing everything he could to stop the horse!. But finally when he knew he wasn't going to stop he started praying out loud, "Lord I know I haven't been the man you have wanted me to be, and I know I shouldn't have taken this horse out to run its full speed, but if you stop him before I get to the cliff I promise to be a better man, please, please, PLEASE STOP HIMMMMMM" And what do you say at the end of a prayer!? "AAAAAMEEEENN" He yealled!. The horse just stopped running, all four legs locked up, scritching to a stop just up to the edge of the cliff!. The rider almost went over the top as his head was just over the horse's, both heads over the cliff, the man looking down then leaned back, wiped his browl and looked up yealling to God, "PRAISE THE LORD!"Www@Enter-QA@Com