Does anyone have blonde jokes?!


Question: Does anyone have blonde jokes!?
Answers:
blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4





These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.



They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.

why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet


Did you hear about the blonde that was fired at the M&M company!?
They caught her throwing away all the W'S!.



Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet


how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box



this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."



two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead had just robbed a bank!. The police were chasing them so they each jumped into a different sack!. The police kicked the redhead's sack, "meow she said!."
Oh it's just a cat, the policeman thought!.
He kicked the brunette's sack, "woof" said the brunette!.
Oh, it's just a dog, the policeman thought!.
The Blonde, thinking she was catching on waited for the policeman to kick her sack!. When he did the first thing out of her mouth was "ow, no, um, I mean!.!.!.!.potatoes!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

There are some here!.
http://www!.luvistheanswer!.org/jokes/joke!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Scientists say that over the next 200 years natural blondes will evolve into myth!.
So lets make fun of them while we still can, by sharing blonde jokes!.
Milk Bath
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful!. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk!.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake!. He thought she probably meant 1!.5 gallons so he knocked on her door to clarify the point!.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk!. Did you mean 1!.5 gallons!?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons!. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath!."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it Pasteurized!?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes!."
Questions & Answers
Q!. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday!?
A!. Tell her a joke on Wednesday!.

Q!. How do you confuse a blonde!?
A!. You can't, they have always been like that!.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence!?
A: To see what was on the other side!.

Q!. How do you amuse a blonde for hours!?
A!. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper!.

Q!. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make!?
A!. A wind tunnel!.

Q!. How do you confuse a blonde!?
A!. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner!.

Q!. How does a blonde try to kill a fish!?
A!. She drowns it!.

Q!. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg!?
A!. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money!.

Q!. How does a blonde part their hair!?
A!. By doing the splits!.

Q!. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg!?
A!. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q!. A blonde is going to London on a plane!. How can you steal her window seat!?
A!. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row!.

Q!. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink!?
A!. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables!.

Q!. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme!?
A!. Humpme Dumpme

Q!. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof!?
A!. More leg-room!

Q!. Why don't blondes use vibrators!?
A!. They chip their teeth!.

Q!. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning!?
A!. Fertilized

Q!. Why do blondes like tilt steering!?
A!. More headroom

Q!. Why is a blonde like a doorknob!?
A!. Because everyone gets a turn!.

Q!. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball!?
A!. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball!.

Q!. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common!?
A!. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

Q!. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer!?
A!. Frosted Flakes

Q!. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel!?
A!. An airbag!.

Q!. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day!?
A!. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil!.

Q!. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common!?
A!. They both swallowed a lot of semen!.

Q!. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board!?
A!. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board!.

Q!. How did the blonde burn her nose!?
A!. Bobbing for chips!.

Q!. What do you call a zit on a blondes ***!?
A!. Brain tumor!.

Q!. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom!?
A!. So she can have a doggie bag for later!.

Q!. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A!. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!.!.!.!.

Q!. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms!?
A!. "Way to go team!"

Q!. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose!?
A!. FULL

Q!. What happened to the blonde tap dancer!?
A!. She slipped off and fell down the drain!.

Q!. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper!?
A!. So she could lip read!.

Q!. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger!?
A!. You get to park in the handicap zone!.

Q!. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells!?
A!. Pregnant!.

Q!. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747!?
A!. Not everyone has been in a 747!.

Q!. What's the difference between butter and a blonde!?
A!. Butter is difficult to spread!.

Q!. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you!?
A!. Pull the pin and throw it back!.

Q!. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette!?
A!. Artificial intelligence!.

Q!. What do you call a blonde standing on her head!?
A!. A brunette with bad breath!.

Q!. What do blondes and cow poop have in common!?
A!. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up!.

Q!. How does a blond turn on the light after sex!?
A!. She opens the car door!.

Q!. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito!?
A!. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

Q!. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are!?
A!. Play ball!

Q!. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common!?
A!. You always hear about them but never see them!.

Q!. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice!?
A!. Cause it said concentrate!.

Q!. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic!?
A!. They know how many went down on the Titanic!.

Q!. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer!?
A!. The joystick is wet!.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer!?
A: There's white-out on the screen!.

Q!. Why do blondes wear underwear!?
A!. To keep their ankles warm!.

Q!. What is a brunette between two blondes!?
A!. An interpreter!.

Q!. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick!?
A!. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it!.

Q!. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money!?
A!. She sold her car for it!.!.!.

Q!. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant!?
A!. "Are you sure it's mine!?"

Q!. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons!?
A!. Because they have blond boyfriends

Q!. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common!?
A!. Their both empty from the neck up

Q!. What do you call a blond with a brain!?
A!. A golden retriever!.

Q!. What do you call a blonde in the closet!?
A!. The 1984 hide and go seek champion!.

Q!. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax!?
A!. It has a stamp on it!.

Q!. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections!?
A!. A wine and cheese party!

Q!. How do you drown a blonde!?
A!. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!.

Q!. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio!?
A!. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too!.

Q!. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor!?
A!. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!

Speeding
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license!.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together!.
Just yesterday you take away my license and now today you expect me to show it to you!."
Fix The Dents
A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm!.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop!.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun!.
He told her to just go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard,
and all the dents would pop out!.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe!.
Nothing happened!.
She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened!.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said,
"What are you doing!?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her
to blow into the tailpipe in order to get the dents to pop out!.

Her roommate rolled her eyes and said,
!.!.!."HELLLLOOOO!!!
You need to roll up the windows!."

The Thermos
A blond was shopping at K-Mart and came across a shiny silver thermos!.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it over to the
clerk to ask what it was!. The clerk said, "why, that's a thermos!.!.!.!.
it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold!."
"Wow," said the blond, "that's amazing!.!.!.!.I'm going to buy it!"
So she took the thermos and took it to work the next day!.
Her boss, who is also blond, saw it on her desk!."What's that!?" he asked!.
"Why, that's a thermos!.!.!.
it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"she replied!.
"What do you have in it!?"asked the boss,
"Two popsicles and some coffee"

The Dead Bird
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park!.
The brunette says suddenly, "Oh, look at that dead bird!."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where!?"

Roe vs Wade
A blonde was sitting in class when the professor asked her if she knew what the Roe vs Wade decision was!.
She sat there for quite a while pondering this very profound question and finally said,
"I think that is the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware!."

The Corn Field
There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio!. The DJ was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off!.

A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing!. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name!. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

Degrees Of Blondeness

1st DEGREE:
Two blondes are walking down the street!. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up!. She opens it, looks in the mirror, and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar!." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact!. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it'Www@Enter-QA@Com



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