What's a funny joke you've heard?!
Question: What's a funny joke you've heard!?
I need a laugh!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home!. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship!.
The distance between us is just too great!.
I must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and it's not
fair to either of us!. I'm sorry!. Please return
the picture of me that I sent to you!.
Love,
Becky
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc!. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies!. There were 57 photos in that envelope!.!.!.!. along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are!. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me!.
Thanks and Take Care,
Ricky
Confessions of kid
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner!.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted!.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday!." Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker!. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home!. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday!. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did!.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year!. "Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year!.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday!." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter!.
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday!. I want a red one!.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true!. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over!.
Letter 2
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year!. I still would really like a bike for my birthday!.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either!. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter!.
Letter 3
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year!. I am very sorry!. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday!. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike!.
Now, Bobby was very upset!. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church!. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad!. "Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby's mother told him!.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner!. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar!. He looked around to see if anyone was there!. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary! !.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room!. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen!. Bobby began to write his letter to God!.
Letter 4
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA!. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!
!!!!!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship!.
The distance between us is just too great!.
I must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and it's not
fair to either of us!. I'm sorry!. Please return
the picture of me that I sent to you!.
Love,
Becky
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc!. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies!. There were 57 photos in that envelope!.!.!.!. along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are!. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me!.
Thanks and Take Care,
Ricky
Confessions of kid
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner!.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted!.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday!." Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker!. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home!. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday!. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did!.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year!. "Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year!.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday!." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter!.
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday!. I want a red one!.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true!. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over!.
Letter 2
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year!. I still would really like a bike for my birthday!.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either!. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter!.
Letter 3
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year!. I am very sorry!. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday!. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike!.
Now, Bobby was very upset!. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church!. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad!. "Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby's mother told him!.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner!. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar!. He looked around to see if anyone was there!. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary! !.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room!. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen!. Bobby began to write his letter to God!.
Letter 4
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA!. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!
!!!!!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Three for the price of one!.!.!.!.!.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband!.
**************************************!.!.!.
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license!.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test!. The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z!.'
"Can you read this!?" the optician asked!.
"Read it!?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy!."
**************************************!.!.!.
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something!. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent!."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back!. "I'm so tired of chardonnay!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband!.
**************************************!.!.!.
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license!.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test!. The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z!.'
"Can you read this!?" the optician asked!.
"Read it!?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy!."
**************************************!.!.!.
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something!. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent!."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back!. "I'm so tired of chardonnay!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son!. "Wake up, son!. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom!? I don't want to go!."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go!."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school!. Come on now and get ready!."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school!."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old!. And for another, you're the Principal!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
"But why, Mom!? I don't want to go!."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go!."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school!. Come on now and get ready!."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school!."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old!. And for another, you're the Principal!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
a blonde walks into a hairdresser to get her hair cut!. she has earphones on!. when she gets her hair cut, the hairdresser asks her politely to take off the headphones!. the blonde says " oh no! i need these!" so the hairdresser thinks, oh well, she is a blonde!. but its getting harder to cut the blondes hair, and the hairdresser has now asked a few more times!. so now the hairdresser get so mad she rips off the headphones!. the blonde falls dead a couple minutes later!. the hairdresser puts on the headphones and hears " breathe in, breathe out"Www@Enter-QA@Com
(no offense, i just need a person)
K, so three bridge workers sat on the edge of the bridge for lunch!. One was Japeneese, one was Mexican, and one was American!. The Japeneese opend his lunch box and it had sushi inside!. "If I get sushi again then im going to jump off this bridge and kill myself!"
Then the Mexican opend his lunch box!. It had a Tacco in it!. "If I get another tacco, then i will follow you down the bridge my freind!."
Finnaly the American opend his and he got a hot dog!. "Man ive eatin' so many of these i know what they are made of!.!.!.I agree with u 2!."
The next day at work, they sat down for lunch the Japeneese guy got sushi so he jumped, the Mexican got tacos so he jumped, and the American got hotdogs so he jumped!. When the police arived, the wifes were explaining what they new!. The Japeneese wife said "He could have told me he didnt want sushi!"
The Mexicans wife said "He just should have traded lunches or at least left me a note!"
The two wifes looked at the Americans wife!. She looked at them both and said "DONT LOOK AT ME! HE PACKED HIS OWN LUNCH!!!!"
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!Www@Enter-QA@Com
K, so three bridge workers sat on the edge of the bridge for lunch!. One was Japeneese, one was Mexican, and one was American!. The Japeneese opend his lunch box and it had sushi inside!. "If I get sushi again then im going to jump off this bridge and kill myself!"
Then the Mexican opend his lunch box!. It had a Tacco in it!. "If I get another tacco, then i will follow you down the bridge my freind!."
Finnaly the American opend his and he got a hot dog!. "Man ive eatin' so many of these i know what they are made of!.!.!.I agree with u 2!."
The next day at work, they sat down for lunch the Japeneese guy got sushi so he jumped, the Mexican got tacos so he jumped, and the American got hotdogs so he jumped!. When the police arived, the wifes were explaining what they new!. The Japeneese wife said "He could have told me he didnt want sushi!"
The Mexicans wife said "He just should have traded lunches or at least left me a note!"
The two wifes looked at the Americans wife!. She looked at them both and said "DONT LOOK AT ME! HE PACKED HIS OWN LUNCH!!!!"
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!Www@Enter-QA@Com
this girl and boy have been together for along time now, and now the girl wants her boyfriend to meet her parents, but the girl says to the guy '' after you and i have dinner with my parents, you and i will make love''!. the guy freaks out cuz he's never made love before!. so he goes to the pharmacist, and asks about condoms, the pharmacist helps him for about an hour, the pharmacist asks the guy if he wanted to buy a 3pack, a 10pack or a Family pack, so the guy gets the family pack, cuz he thinks he's gonna busy all night!. so the next day he goes to his girlfriends house, and sits down with her parents for dinner!. once they sit down they all pray for about 1 minute!. 2 minutes have passed and the guys head is still down!. 4 minutes pass and the girl leans over to her boyfriend and says '' i didn't know u were so religeous'', and her boyfriend says '' i didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!''Www@Enter-QA@Com
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb!?
Only two!. The problem's getting them in there!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Only two!. The problem's getting them in there!.Www@Enter-QA@Com