How funny are you???!
Question: How funny are you!?!?!?
Tell me a joke!. Make shure is a good one!! Who ever makes me laugh the most gets 10 points!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work!.
Her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet!.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet!. The boy now has company!.
Boy: 'Dark in here!.'
Man: 'Yes it is!.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball!.'
Man: 'That's nice!.'
Boy: 'Want to buy it!?'
Man: 'No, thanks!.'
Boy: My dad's outside!.'
Man: 'OK, how much!?'
Boy: '$250!.'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together!.
Boy: 'Dark in here!.'
Man: 'Yes, it is!.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove!.'
Man: 'How much!?'
Boy: '$750!.'
Man: 'Fine!.'
A few days later, the father says to the boy, 'Grab your glove!. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!.'
The boy says, 'I can't ! I sold them!.'
The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for!?'
The son says,'$1,000!.
The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that!. That is way more than those two things cost!. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess!.'
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door!.
The boy says, 'Dark in here!.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that **** again!.
hahaWww@Enter-QA@Com
Her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet!.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet!. The boy now has company!.
Boy: 'Dark in here!.'
Man: 'Yes it is!.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball!.'
Man: 'That's nice!.'
Boy: 'Want to buy it!?'
Man: 'No, thanks!.'
Boy: My dad's outside!.'
Man: 'OK, how much!?'
Boy: '$250!.'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together!.
Boy: 'Dark in here!.'
Man: 'Yes, it is!.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove!.'
Man: 'How much!?'
Boy: '$750!.'
Man: 'Fine!.'
A few days later, the father says to the boy, 'Grab your glove!. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!.'
The boy says, 'I can't ! I sold them!.'
The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for!?'
The son says,'$1,000!.
The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that!. That is way more than those two things cost!. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess!.'
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door!.
The boy says, 'Dark in here!.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that **** again!.
hahaWww@Enter-QA@Com
bring bring
manager:hey blonde go pink it up
blonde: do i use me pinkey!?
manager:just pink up the phoney!
blonde: alright ill try it with my funny jokes
she picks it up with her pinkey
but the phone falls down she kneels
down and say
blonde:yellow would like to hear a joke!?
phone person: no! wheres the manager!
blonde:its for you manager!
the manager comes out seeing her on the floor
and says: what are you doing!? well wheres my phone call
i don't have all day
blonde: well i tryed picking it up with my pinkey but it was to hard to follow what i was told and i tryed telling him a joke but he insisted and just yelled at me!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
manager:hey blonde go pink it up
blonde: do i use me pinkey!?
manager:just pink up the phoney!
blonde: alright ill try it with my funny jokes
she picks it up with her pinkey
but the phone falls down she kneels
down and say
blonde:yellow would like to hear a joke!?
phone person: no! wheres the manager!
blonde:its for you manager!
the manager comes out seeing her on the floor
and says: what are you doing!? well wheres my phone call
i don't have all day
blonde: well i tryed picking it up with my pinkey but it was to hard to follow what i was told and i tryed telling him a joke but he insisted and just yelled at me!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q: What's the difference between a hillbilly wedding and a hillbilly funeral!?
A: There's one less drunk at the funeral!.
Q: How do you get a hillbilly out of a bathtub!?
A: Throw in a bar of soap!.
Q: How do you tell the bride at a hillbilly wedding!?
A: She's wearing the cleanest shirt!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A: There's one less drunk at the funeral!.
Q: How do you get a hillbilly out of a bathtub!?
A: Throw in a bar of soap!.
Q: How do you tell the bride at a hillbilly wedding!?
A: She's wearing the cleanest shirt!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
whats the same about michael jackson and a wii!?
they are both plastic and little boys turn them both on!!!
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?▄?▄ !.!.!.!.!.?▄?▄
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they are both plastic and little boys turn them both on!!!
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?▄?▄ !.!.!.!.!.?▄?▄
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hillary went in the bathroom and shaved her VJJ then she came out and lift up her skirt and said no more BushWww@Enter-QA@Com
ok w8 thenWww@Enter-QA@Com
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly ****!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly ****!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Joke: Black Testicles
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose!. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath!. Nurse , he mumbles, from behind the mask!. Are my testicles black!? Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, I don t know, Sir!. I m only here to wash your upper body and feet!. He struggles to ask again, Nurse, please check!. Are my testicles black!? Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers!. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other!. Then, she takes a close look and says, There s nothing wrong with them, Sir! The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, Thank you very much!. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely!.!.!.!.!.!. A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k!?
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady!. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up!. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts!. She repeats this gesture about five more times!. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, " Why then don't you eat the peanuts yourself!?"!.
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth," she replied!.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then!?"
The old lady replied, "We just love to suck the chocolate off of them!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr!. Watson go on a camping trip!. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep!.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend!. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see!."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson!.
"And what do you deduce from that!?"
Watson ponders for a minute!.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo!. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three!. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe!. What does it tell you, Holmes!?"
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!.”
Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks!. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"
The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"
They where still arguing ten minutes later when the train hit them!.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the movies!. During the pre-views, she asked him if he would go and buy her some M & Ms!.
When he returned with her candy, she opened the bag, picked out all the brown ones and threw them away!.
"What did you do that for!?" he asked her!.
"I'm allergic to chocolate!" she replied!.
A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming "lifesaver! lifesaver!"
The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks "cherry or grape!?"
a red head, a brunette, and a blonde were stuck on a island for many years!. one day they found a lamp and a genie came out and said he could grant them each a wish!. the redie said, I wish I could go home, and poof, she was gone!. the brownie also wished to go home, and she was gone!. the blondie was left!. she started to cry!. I'm all alone she said!. then she said I know I wish my friends were back with me on this island so I won't be lonley anymore!
a blonde, a brunette and a redhead were climbimg a mountain!. But a giant caught them and said I could kill you, but I'll let you live!. Heres the deal: at the top of the mountain you'll say something, and I'll push you off, and thats what you'll land in!. At the top of the mountain the redhead said soft mattresses, the giant pushed her off, and thats what she landed in!. The brownie said pillows, the giant pushed her off, and thats what she landed in!. It was now the blondies turn!. She was walking up to the place where the giant stood, but she tripped on a stone!. She wasn't hert, but she saw she had a broken nail!. Oh, crap she said, then the giant pushed her off, and thats what she landed in : )
President George Bush said each one of us would get a $600!.00 tax rebate!. It was previously slated to be $800!.00, but they dropped it to a $600!.00 tax rebate because of various budget problems!.
Now, if we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China, if we spend it on computers, most of the money will go to Korea or India!. If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs !.!.!.!.!. and none of these scenarios will help the American economy!.
We need to keep that money here in America !.!.!.!.!.so the only way to keep that money here at home is to drink beer, gamble, or spend it on prostitution!. Currently it seems that these are the only businesses still left in the U!.S!.
hope i helped! have a great dayWww@Enter-QA@Com
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose!. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath!. Nurse , he mumbles, from behind the mask!. Are my testicles black!? Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, I don t know, Sir!. I m only here to wash your upper body and feet!. He struggles to ask again, Nurse, please check!. Are my testicles black!? Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers!. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other!. Then, she takes a close look and says, There s nothing wrong with them, Sir! The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, Thank you very much!. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely!.!.!.!.!.!. A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k!?
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady!. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up!. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts!. She repeats this gesture about five more times!. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, " Why then don't you eat the peanuts yourself!?"!.
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth," she replied!.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then!?"
The old lady replied, "We just love to suck the chocolate off of them!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr!. Watson go on a camping trip!. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep!.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend!. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see!."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson!.
"And what do you deduce from that!?"
Watson ponders for a minute!.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo!. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three!. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe!. What does it tell you, Holmes!?"
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!.”
Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks!. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"
The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"
They where still arguing ten minutes later when the train hit them!.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the movies!. During the pre-views, she asked him if he would go and buy her some M & Ms!.
When he returned with her candy, she opened the bag, picked out all the brown ones and threw them away!.
"What did you do that for!?" he asked her!.
"I'm allergic to chocolate!" she replied!.
A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming "lifesaver! lifesaver!"
The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks "cherry or grape!?"
a red head, a brunette, and a blonde were stuck on a island for many years!. one day they found a lamp and a genie came out and said he could grant them each a wish!. the redie said, I wish I could go home, and poof, she was gone!. the brownie also wished to go home, and she was gone!. the blondie was left!. she started to cry!. I'm all alone she said!. then she said I know I wish my friends were back with me on this island so I won't be lonley anymore!
a blonde, a brunette and a redhead were climbimg a mountain!. But a giant caught them and said I could kill you, but I'll let you live!. Heres the deal: at the top of the mountain you'll say something, and I'll push you off, and thats what you'll land in!. At the top of the mountain the redhead said soft mattresses, the giant pushed her off, and thats what she landed in!. The brownie said pillows, the giant pushed her off, and thats what she landed in!. It was now the blondies turn!. She was walking up to the place where the giant stood, but she tripped on a stone!. She wasn't hert, but she saw she had a broken nail!. Oh, crap she said, then the giant pushed her off, and thats what she landed in : )
President George Bush said each one of us would get a $600!.00 tax rebate!. It was previously slated to be $800!.00, but they dropped it to a $600!.00 tax rebate because of various budget problems!.
Now, if we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China, if we spend it on computers, most of the money will go to Korea or India!. If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs !.!.!.!.!. and none of these scenarios will help the American economy!.
We need to keep that money here in America !.!.!.!.!.so the only way to keep that money here at home is to drink beer, gamble, or spend it on prostitution!. Currently it seems that these are the only businesses still left in the U!.S!.
hope i helped! have a great dayWww@Enter-QA@Com