Can you tell me something funny?!
Question: Can you tell me something funny!?
just make me laugh okay!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly ****!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."
mothers have a day called mothers day, fathers have a day called fathers day so what day do Single men have!? Palm Day!
Did you hear about the old lady that hated flies until she opened one!?
blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Did you hear about the blonde that was fired at the M&M company!?
They caught her throwing away all the W'S!.
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box
this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."
two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly ****!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!."
mothers have a day called mothers day, fathers have a day called fathers day so what day do Single men have!? Palm Day!
Did you hear about the old lady that hated flies until she opened one!?
blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4
These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.
They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet
Did you hear about the blonde that was fired at the M&M company!?
They caught her throwing away all the W'S!.
Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet
how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box
this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."
two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A lady goes on vacation alone to the Caribbean wishing her husband had been able to join her!.
Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate lovemaking she asks him, "What is your name!?"
"I can't tell you!" the black man says!.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he cannot tell her!. On her last night there she asks again, "Can you please tell me your name!?"
"I can't because you will make fun of me!" the black man says!.
"There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady says!.
"Fine, my name is Snow" the black man replies!.
And the lady bursts into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says, "I knew you would make fun of it!."
The lady replied, "It's my husband that won't believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow every day in the Caribbean!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate lovemaking she asks him, "What is your name!?"
"I can't tell you!" the black man says!.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he cannot tell her!. On her last night there she asks again, "Can you please tell me your name!?"
"I can't because you will make fun of me!" the black man says!.
"There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady says!.
"Fine, my name is Snow" the black man replies!.
And the lady bursts into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says, "I knew you would make fun of it!."
The lady replied, "It's my husband that won't believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow every day in the Caribbean!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Squirrel walks into a bar, orders double shot of whisky!. Knocks it back and does this for the next 2 hours!. Eventually he falls off his stool, says goobye to the barman and stumbles out the door!. He comes back in 10 minutes later!. Barman says "I thought u were going home"!. Squirrel says "I can't!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.I'm locked outa me tree"
This bloke goes in shop and asks for Irish sausages!. The Assistant looked at him and asked "Are you Irish!?" "If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian!? Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German!? Or if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish!? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican !? Would ya, ay!? Would Ya!?" The assistant says, "Well no"!. "And if I asked you for some Bourbon Whiskey, would you ask me if I was American!? What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish!?" "Well, I probably wouldn't," With self-indignation, the man says, "Well, all right then,why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish Sausages!?" The Assistant replies, "Because you're in Homebase!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
This bloke goes in shop and asks for Irish sausages!. The Assistant looked at him and asked "Are you Irish!?" "If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian!? Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German!? Or if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish!? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican !? Would ya, ay!? Would Ya!?" The assistant says, "Well no"!. "And if I asked you for some Bourbon Whiskey, would you ask me if I was American!? What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish!?" "Well, I probably wouldn't," With self-indignation, the man says, "Well, all right then,why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish Sausages!?" The Assistant replies, "Because you're in Homebase!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
one time i was in egypt with my friends on a tour!.!. so we had this lovely appartment that we built a special room for drunk ppl, each day one of us got drunk & was trapped in this room to sing & dance to the whole group with the help of mtv !.!. so it was my turn & MTV were showing michel jackson's video the one that's in new york city so i was dancing & saying "folks & now we're watching the newest video for michel JORDAN" coz really i saw jackson as jordan in stead & i was tryin' to focus hardly on the screen but i kept seeing it jordan instead of jackson!.!.!.heheheh till now my friends remind me of this incident & after we got home i took the 1st place award for "drunk attitudes" in my group as they called it !.!. hehehehheWww@Enter-QA@Com
When NASA sent astronauts to the moon they found that ball point pens didn't work in zero g!. They spent 12 billion and a decade to make pens that worked in zero g, freezing temps!. & had other features
The russians used a pencil
LOL XDWww@Enter-QA@Com
The russians used a pencil
LOL XDWww@Enter-QA@Com
yes!.!.!.an unanswered question!.!.
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I still laugh at this one!.
"You are slower than a turtle stampeding through peanut butter!."
lol, I'm still laughing =}Www@Enter-QA@Com
"You are slower than a turtle stampeding through peanut butter!."
lol, I'm still laughing =}Www@Enter-QA@Com
not really but have you ever wondered how many holes there would be on earth if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of themWww@Enter-QA@Com
Did you know that Atheism is a non-prophet organization!?
Get it!.!.!. non-PROPHET, not profit!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Get it!.!.!. non-PROPHET, not profit!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Every time you hit the space bar, hundreds of Ritz crackers fly out of the CD-ROM drive!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
My neighbors dog is so ugly
that it's flees wear dog colors!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
that it's flees wear dog colors!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
if fed-ex and ups amalgamated, would the become fed-up!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
a screen door on a submarineWww@Enter-QA@Com
cookie doeWww@Enter-QA@Com