Jokes? .?!


Question: Jokes!? !.!?
know any good jokes, funniest one gets best answerWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."





An old woman walks into a singles bar looking for a little action!. A distinguished older gentleman approaches her and they really hit it off!. After a few drinks they decide to get a hotel room and get it on!. As they sit naked on the bed, the old man takes out his hearing aids and moves in!. The old woman stops him and says, "before we do this, i should tell you i have acute angina!." The old man looks at her, smiles and says, I sure hope so, cause you got ugly ****!."





An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."


a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big a$$!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big a$$ didnt it!.!.!.




A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."

"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "

"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."














so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.


1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su PahWww@Enter-QA@Com

A businessman was talking with his barber, when they both noticed a goofy-looking fellow bouncing down the sidewalk!. The barber whispered, "That's Tommy, one of the stupidest kids you'll ever meet!. Here, I'll show you!."

"Hey Tommy! Come here!" yelled the barber!. Tommy came bouncing over "Hi Mr!. Williams!" The barber pulled out a rusty dime and a shiny quarter and told Tommy he could keep the one of his choice!. Tommy looked long and hard at the dime and quarter and then quickly snapped the dime from the barber's hand!. The barber looked at the businessman and said, "See, I told you!."

After his haircut, the businessman caught up with Tommy and asked him why he chose the dime!.

Tommy looked at him in the eye and said, "If I take the quarter, the game is over!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses!. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed!. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services!. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do!?"!. The operator says "Calm down!. I can help!. First, let's make sure he's dead!." There is a silence, then a shot is heard!. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what!?

---
Sherlock Holmes and Dr!. Watson go on a camping trip!. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep!.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend!. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see!."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson!.

"And what do you deduce from that!?"

Watson ponders for a minute!.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo!. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three!. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe!. What does it tell you, Holmes!?"

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!.”
---

A blonde walks into the library!. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"

The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

ok!. so there are 3 guys on a plane- an american, a mexican, and a french guy!. they are flying over the mountains and in order to keep flying, they need to throw out something they have too many of in their country!. the french guy throws out a crossaint!. the mexican throws out a taco, saying there are too many of those in their country!. and the american throws out the mexican saying their are too many of those in our country!. im not racist but i thought it was kinda funny!. =]

another--how do you find the population of mexico!? roll a penny down the street!. (cause theyre poor)Www@Enter-QA@Com

What's the main cause of paedophilia in this country!?
Sexy kids!.

Statistics show that nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape!.

What's black and white and black and white and black and white!?
A nun rolling down a hill!.

What's black and white and laughs!?
The nun that pushed her!.

What's black and white and runs down a corridor screaming!?
A nun with a spear in her back!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Johnny goes to school and teacher says: learn 3words for your homework this weekend, OK!? (cuz he doesn't know a word of english) So when Johnny goes home he sees a plane!. He learns the words 'takeoff'!. On Saturday he goes to a zoo, sees a zebra!. He learns 'zebra'!. His baby sister come home with his mom from the hospital, he learns 'baby'!. On Monday he comes back to school!.

Teacher: So what have you learned, Johnny!?

Johnny: Take off ze bra, baby!Www@Enter-QA@Com

If your left leg was christmas and your right leg was thanksgiving, then can I visit in between HOLIDAYS!?!?!?;)Www@Enter-QA@Com

Man "Want a sweetie, little girl!?"

Little girl "Show me the size of your dIck first"Www@Enter-QA@Com

what does someone say when 2 houses fall on them!.!.!.
"Get of me homes!." HahahaWww@Enter-QA@Com

what do white people and fences have in common!?
they both get jumped by mexicansWww@Enter-QA@Com

whats black and white and red all over!?!?

michael jackson on crack;)Www@Enter-QA@Com

Whats balck and white and red all over

A zebra with a rashWww@Enter-QA@Com



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