What are your favorite chuck Norris facts?!


Question: What are your favorite chuck Norris facts!?
Examples:
-On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun!.
- Chuck Norris can clap with one hand!.
- Chick Norris is right behind you!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Chuk Norris can speak BrailleC
Some kids piss their names in the snow!. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete!.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get in the middle of chuck norris and chuck norris

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a wffle iron and a bowling ball!.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice
Chuck Norris is suing NBC for their show Law&Order claiming it is the trademarked names of his left and right legs!.

Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed!. It's not because he's scared of the dark- It's Because the dark is scared of him!.
Chuck Norris is the real reason Mitt Romney dropped out of the presidential race!.
Chuck Norris was originally considered for the part of Jesus in the Passion of the Christ!. However, the director realized that Chuck Norris cannot show the emotion of pain!. He can only inflict it!.
Darth Vader dresses up as Chuck Norris for Halloween!.
Chuck Norris can say to a waitress, "can i have your number just kidding just kidding," and get it!

Osama Bin Laden hates the USA because he is envious that Chuck Norris is there

She had fun fun fun alright!.!.!. until Chuck Norris showed up!.

Chuck Norris poops while standing up!
-by amindawake

Chuck Norris invented the tooth fairy, as a way to compensate for round house kicking everybody to the face!.

chuck norris once ate a bean supream and farted, the event is now known as the 1st nuclear bomb test!.
-by jake and germo-

chuck norris has clicked the unclickable button!.!.!. twice
-by jake and germo-

when girls have sex with god, they scream CHUCK NORRIS!!
-by jake and germo-

Mr!. T, Arnold Shcwarzzenger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God!. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest fighters in the world and I have a place for one of you at my right hand!. You must prove to me whom of you it shall be!." Mr!. T steps and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand!." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr!. T to hell!. Arnold steps up and says "I was in predator, commando, the terminator!. You must choose the governator!." God tells him not good enough and sends Arnold to hell!. God turns to Chuck Norris and say "Why should you sit beside me!?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and say "*****, your in my seat!."

Chuck Norris was suppose to have a twin brother but he did not survive chucks nine months practice of floating rondhouse kicks!.

Chuck Norris has had thousands of lovers, but none of them ever satisfied Chuck Norris!. He realized that the only person who could ever satisfy Chuck Norris!.!.!.was Chuck Norris!.

everytime chuck norris has sex he has to fix the hole in the wall the next morning

chuck norris has never kicked anyone's ***, but the mear sight of him makes you kick your own ***


the continets didn't drift away from each other, they just found out that chuck norris was gunna be on america so they all ran away

chuck norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana

Daddy didn't take her T-bird away!.!.!. Chuck Norris did!.

Chuck Norris is so strong that not only does he hold the whole world in his hands, but he also holds the holds the entire univerise!.

There is a little Chuck Norris in everyone!. No really!. Listen to your inner Chuck Norris and roundhouse kick yourself in the face!.

Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants!.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow!.

Chuck Norris's dog picks up its own sh!t because Chuck Norris doesn't take sh!t from anybody

Chuck Norris doesn't THROW UP after a long night of partying!.!.!.He THROWS DOWN!!!

Once while having sex in a trailer chuck norris's sperm accidentally got into the engine, you might know this trailer as Optimis Prime!.

When Chuck Norris does Push up's he doesn't push himself up he pushes the world down

Chuck Norris invented the phrase" put a foot in your mouth"

When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

When God sneezes, people say Chuck Norris bless you

Chuck Norris knows what Bo doesn't

Originally Chuck Norris was to play froto in Lord of the Rings but turned the job down cause only a panzy needs 3 movies to destroy jewlery!. also Chuck Norris was originally cast to play the lead role on the show 24!. The producers had to fire him after he killed all of the terrorists in 10 seconds!.

Do u know how giraffes were born!? Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a horse in the neck!

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who never met Chuck Norris!

Who would win the race between Batman and Superman to the moon!?!?!?Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he understands is the element of surprise!.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, too bad he has never cried!.
Chuck Norris has 2 speeds!.!.!.Walk and Kill!.
AIDS was specifically designed to kill chuck norris!. It failed miserably!.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin islands!. Now there just the islands!.

Chuck norris destroys whole continents!. Ever heard of atlantis!? nuff said

Devil didn't go down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal!. Chuck Norris came down to hell and told him to get the F**K out!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

chuck norris can slam rotating doors!

chuck norris gives ciggarettes cancer!

there is no global warming chuck norris just got cold so he turned up the sun!

chuck norris could strangle you with a cordless phone!

chuck norris doesnt play hide and seek!. he plays hide and pray i dont find you!

the black-eyed peas were just the peas before chuck norris heard there music!

and!.!.!.chuck norris kicks ***Www@Enter-QA@Com

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack!. His heart isn't brave enough to attack Chuck Norris!.

One time Death had a Near-Chuck-Norris experience!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

chuck norris keeps on the light when going to sleep - not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

When Chuck Norris has s*x he is never on the bottom because Chuck Norris never f*cks up!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer!. Chuck Norris doesn't cry!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Chuck Norris Can't swimWww@Enter-QA@Com

someone told me chuck norris is god!.!.!.YEAH RIGHTWww@Enter-QA@Com



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