Letter to older employees?!
Question: Letter to older employees!?
Caspian Queen ~ Im missin U ~ Member since:
19 February 2008
Total points:
2786 (Level 4)
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Member Since: 19 February 2008
Total Points: 2786 (Level 4)
Points earned this week: 29
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Letter to older employees!?
Dear employee:
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel!. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future!.
Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the next fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately!. This program will be known as S!.L!.A!.P!. (Severance of Late-Aged Personnel)!.
Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company!. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place!.
This review phase of the program will be called S!.C!.R!.E!.W!. (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Elderly Workers)!.
20 hours ago - 3 days left to answer!.
Additional Details
20 hours ago
All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management!. This appeal is called S!.H!.A!.F!.T!. (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination)!.
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate!. If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get HE!.R!.P!.E!.S!. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment)!.
As H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S!. and C!.L!.A!.P!. are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S !. ALTERNATIVELY, C!.L!.A!.P!. will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company!.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our: Special High Intensity Training ( S!.H!.I!.T!.)!.
20 hours ago
We take pride in the amount of S!.H!.I!.T !. our employees receive!. We have given our employees more S!.H!.I!.T!. than any company in this area!. If any employee feels they do not receive enough S!.H!.I!.T!. on the job, see your immediate supervisor!. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the S!.H!.IT !. you can stand!.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of loyal service with us!
The ManagementWww@Enter-QA@Com
19 February 2008
Total points:
2786 (Level 4)
Add to My Contacts
Block User
Best answer 19%782 answers
Member Since: 19 February 2008
Total Points: 2786 (Level 4)
Points earned this week: 29
Add to My Contacts
Block User
Open QuestionShow me another ?
Letter to older employees!?
Dear employee:
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel!. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future!.
Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the next fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately!. This program will be known as S!.L!.A!.P!. (Severance of Late-Aged Personnel)!.
Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company!. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place!.
This review phase of the program will be called S!.C!.R!.E!.W!. (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Elderly Workers)!.
20 hours ago - 3 days left to answer!.
Additional Details
20 hours ago
All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management!. This appeal is called S!.H!.A!.F!.T!. (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination)!.
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate!. If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get HE!.R!.P!.E!.S!. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment)!.
As H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S!. and C!.L!.A!.P!. are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S !. ALTERNATIVELY, C!.L!.A!.P!. will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company!.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our: Special High Intensity Training ( S!.H!.I!.T!.)!.
20 hours ago
We take pride in the amount of S!.H!.I!.T !. our employees receive!. We have given our employees more S!.H!.I!.T!. than any company in this area!. If any employee feels they do not receive enough S!.H!.I!.T!. on the job, see your immediate supervisor!. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the S!.H!.IT !. you can stand!.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of loyal service with us!
The ManagementWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
thanks M P
2 more points for me as well
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.ch!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
2 more points for me as well
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.ch!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
And the max power/pax mower/mox pawer strikes againWww@Enter-QA@Com
2 points again thanksWww@Enter-QA@Com
stop copying peoples question as u read u there it says someone elses name at the topWww@Enter-QA@Com