Any funny CLEAN jokes?!
Question: Any funny CLEAN jokes!?
me and my friends always tell jokes at lunch but we're pretty much out of funny ones!. THEY HAVE TO BE CLEAN THO! If you r questioning if its clean or not dont submit it!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Blonde Needs Curtains Badly
A blonde goes into a store that sells curtains!. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains!." The salesman assured her that they had a large selection of pink curtains!. He showed her several patterns,but the blonde seemed to be having a hard time choosing!.
Finally, she selects a lovely pink floral print!.
The salesman asked what size curtains she needed!.
The blonde replies, "Fifteen inches!."
"Fifteen inches!?!?", asked the salesman, "that sounds very small!. What room are they for!?" The blonde says, "Oh, they are not for any room - they are for my computer monitor!."
The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not have curtains!."
The blonde says, " Hellooooooooo - I've got Windows!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde goes into a store that sells curtains!. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains!." The salesman assured her that they had a large selection of pink curtains!. He showed her several patterns,but the blonde seemed to be having a hard time choosing!.
Finally, she selects a lovely pink floral print!.
The salesman asked what size curtains she needed!.
The blonde replies, "Fifteen inches!."
"Fifteen inches!?!?", asked the salesman, "that sounds very small!. What room are they for!?" The blonde says, "Oh, they are not for any room - they are for my computer monitor!."
The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not have curtains!."
The blonde says, " Hellooooooooo - I've got Windows!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Politicians!!?!!?
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer''s barn!.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate!. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians!. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone!.
The old farmer told him he had buried them!.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead!?"
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren''t, but you know how them crooked politicians lie!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer''s barn!.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate!. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians!. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone!.
The old farmer told him he had buried them!.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead!?"
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren''t, but you know how them crooked politicians lie!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds!. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters!?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
these r pretty clean and funny!.!.!.enjoy
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
have you ever taken a shower with your brother,
[i'm waiting for the answer] did you!.
well you should not do that!.
My room mate just fart and it smells like R!.kellys bed room up in here!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
[i'm waiting for the answer] did you!.
well you should not do that!.
My room mate just fart and it smells like R!.kellys bed room up in here!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why did the blonde have Square boobs!?
SHE FORGOT TO TAKE THE TISSUES OUT OF THE BOX!Www@Enter-QA@Com
SHE FORGOT TO TAKE THE TISSUES OUT OF THE BOX!Www@Enter-QA@Com
What Does it mean when a lion roars!?
A!. The movie is about to start!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A!. The movie is about to start!Www@Enter-QA@Com
why did tigger stick his head in the toilet!?
he was looking for pooh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
he was looking for pooh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com