Funny chuck norris jokes?!
Question: Funny chuck norris jokes!?
Answers:
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis!.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11!.!.!.!. a suicide!.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people!. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis!.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11!.!.!.!. a suicide!.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people!. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives
When Chuck Noris jumps in a pool he dosen’t get wet water gets Chuck Noris!.
Chuck Noris isn’t hung like a horse a horse is hung like him!.!.!.
The atom bomb isn’t real!.!. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground!.!.
What is the quickest way to mans heart!?
Chuck Noris’s fist!.
Retards are just people that have been round house kicked in the face by Chuck Noris
Chuck Norris pees in a can and sells it as Redbull!.
It never rains when Chuck Noris is around, if it tried he would just roundhouse kick every single raindrop
God said let there be light, Chuck Noris said say please!.
The Devil went down to Georgia not because he was looking for a soul to steal!.!. Chuck Norris took over hell for two weeks and told the Devil to get the heck out!.
Chuck Norris doesn’t eat nails for breakfast, he eats rail road spikes!.
Chuck Norris invented a time machine and went back to just before JFK was shot, he jumped in front of the bullets and shattered them all with his beard!. JFK died out of pure amazement!.
Superman only has two weaknesses!. Kryptonite and a round house kick from Chuck Norris!.
Chuck Norris once commented, “There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face!. In fact, there are none!.”
Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and crapped out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid!.
Chuck Norris’ iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord!.
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego and Waldo are!.
China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth!.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you!.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors!.
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire!.
Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses!. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head!.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the heck down!.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light!. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris!.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer!.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice!.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross!. Just never his own!.
Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he’s sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse!.
Chuck Norris’ evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard’s curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off!. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk!.
Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time!. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to!.
Chuck Norris prefers Mr!. Pibb to Dr!. Pepper!. When asked why, he responded, “I don’t trust doctors!.” He proceeded to shoot laser beams out of his eyes and ate the hearts of everyone in the room!.
Chuck Norris eats pieces of metal for breafast and craps out a tool shed at lunch!.
Chuck Norris found a portal to Hell where he repeatedly gave the Devil a round house kick to the face!.
In the 80’s it was discovered that President Reagan had an inoperable growth on his brain!. Rather than letting him die, they shrunk Chuck Norris and injected him into President Reagan!. There, he fought the tumor and defeated it with a round house kick to the face!. The tumor died and Chuck Norris safely exited Ronald Regan’s body!. Chuck Norris then had Reagan’s tumor mounted on his wall next to the elephant that he killed with his bare hands and the dinosaur he shot on his hunting expedition to the Jurassic Period!.
Chuck Norris told Kid Rock that God doesn’t know why, but Chuck Norris does!.
Chuck Norris saw evil, spoke evil, and heard evil!. Then he gave evil a sharp roundhouse kick to the head!.
Chuck Norris commands all five lions of Voltron simultaneously!.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding!.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket!.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill!.
When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
When Chuck Noris jumps in a pool he dosen’t get wet water gets Chuck Noris!.
Chuck Noris isn’t hung like a horse a horse is hung like him!.!.!.
The atom bomb isn’t real!.!. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground!.!.
What is the quickest way to mans heart!?
Chuck Noris’s fist!.
Retards are just people that have been round house kicked in the face by Chuck Noris
Chuck Norris pees in a can and sells it as Redbull!.
It never rains when Chuck Noris is around, if it tried he would just roundhouse kick every single raindrop
God said let there be light, Chuck Noris said say please!.
The Devil went down to Georgia not because he was looking for a soul to steal!.!. Chuck Norris took over hell for two weeks and told the Devil to get the heck out!.
Chuck Norris doesn’t eat nails for breakfast, he eats rail road spikes!.
Chuck Norris invented a time machine and went back to just before JFK was shot, he jumped in front of the bullets and shattered them all with his beard!. JFK died out of pure amazement!.
Superman only has two weaknesses!. Kryptonite and a round house kick from Chuck Norris!.
Chuck Norris once commented, “There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face!. In fact, there are none!.”
Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and crapped out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid!.
Chuck Norris’ iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord!.
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego and Waldo are!.
China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth!.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you!.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors!.
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire!.
Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses!. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head!.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the heck down!.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light!. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris!.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer!.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice!.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross!. Just never his own!.
Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he’s sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse!.
Chuck Norris’ evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard’s curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off!. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk!.
Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time!. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to!.
Chuck Norris prefers Mr!. Pibb to Dr!. Pepper!. When asked why, he responded, “I don’t trust doctors!.” He proceeded to shoot laser beams out of his eyes and ate the hearts of everyone in the room!.
Chuck Norris eats pieces of metal for breafast and craps out a tool shed at lunch!.
Chuck Norris found a portal to Hell where he repeatedly gave the Devil a round house kick to the face!.
In the 80’s it was discovered that President Reagan had an inoperable growth on his brain!. Rather than letting him die, they shrunk Chuck Norris and injected him into President Reagan!. There, he fought the tumor and defeated it with a round house kick to the face!. The tumor died and Chuck Norris safely exited Ronald Regan’s body!. Chuck Norris then had Reagan’s tumor mounted on his wall next to the elephant that he killed with his bare hands and the dinosaur he shot on his hunting expedition to the Jurassic Period!.
Chuck Norris told Kid Rock that God doesn’t know why, but Chuck Norris does!.
Chuck Norris saw evil, spoke evil, and heard evil!. Then he gave evil a sharp roundhouse kick to the head!.
Chuck Norris commands all five lions of Voltron simultaneously!.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding!.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket!.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill!.
When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
When Chuck Norris farts it is classified as a Type 5 Major Himmicane (- NO! Not hurricane!. There is nothing effeminate about Chucky Baby!.)
When Chuck Norris has an ejaculation, tidal surge warnings are issued for all coastal regions within a 1,000 mile radius!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
When Chuck Norris has an ejaculation, tidal surge warnings are issued for all coastal regions within a 1,000 mile radius!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There used to be a street named Chuck Noriss lane!. But every one that crossed it died!. Do you know why!?
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out so HE gets the pleasure!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris can divide by zero!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
My brother told me this one:
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands!. Now they're just called the Islands!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands!. Now they're just called the Islands!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
when chuck norris does a pushup, he doesnt push him self up, he pushes the world downWww@Enter-QA@Com
chuck norris can strangle you with a cordless phoneWww@Enter-QA@Com
When God sneezes we say "Chuck Norris bless you!."Www@Enter-QA@Com