Any good old people jokes out there?!
Question: Any good old people jokes out there!?
Answers:
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?
Two old ladies were rocking in their chairs on the nursing home porch!. One says "Martha, do you remember the minuet!?" Martha answers "Heck, I don't even remember the ones I slept with!."
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office!. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills!." Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs!. Smith, but you're 75 years old!. What possible use could you have for birth control pills!?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better!." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep!?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night!."
did you hear about the old lady that hated flies until she opened one!?
This old couple's sitting on their front porch rocking one morning, she says to him, "Do you remember what we were doing 50 years ago this morning!?" "Yes," he replies, "We was eating breakfast in the nude!." "That's right," she says, "Lets do it again and see if we can re-kindle some of those old feelings!?" "OK, "he agrees!.
Later, as they were eating, she says "Pa!. I think it's working!. My **** are as warm for you now as they ever were!." "Well, they ought to be," he says!. "You got one boob hanging in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?
Two old ladies were rocking in their chairs on the nursing home porch!. One says "Martha, do you remember the minuet!?" Martha answers "Heck, I don't even remember the ones I slept with!."
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office!. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills!." Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs!. Smith, but you're 75 years old!. What possible use could you have for birth control pills!?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better!." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep!?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night!."
did you hear about the old lady that hated flies until she opened one!?
This old couple's sitting on their front porch rocking one morning, she says to him, "Do you remember what we were doing 50 years ago this morning!?" "Yes," he replies, "We was eating breakfast in the nude!." "That's right," she says, "Lets do it again and see if we can re-kindle some of those old feelings!?" "OK, "he agrees!.
Later, as they were eating, she says "Pa!. I think it's working!. My **** are as warm for you now as they ever were!." "Well, they ought to be," he says!. "You got one boob hanging in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
One hot, summer afternoon in Alabama, Ma and Pa are sitting on the porch swing, rocking to and fro!.
Then Pa turns to Ma and says, "Screw you, Ma!."
A minute passes by when Ma says to Pa, "Screw you, Pa!."
Another minute passes by and Pa says to Ma, "Screw you, Ma!."
Again another minute passes by and Ma says to Pa, "Screw you, Pa!."
After a couple of minutes pass by, Pa says to Ma, "You know something, Ma!. I don't know what the fuss is all about but I just don't get too much from this oral sex thing!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Then Pa turns to Ma and says, "Screw you, Ma!."
A minute passes by when Ma says to Pa, "Screw you, Pa!."
Another minute passes by and Pa says to Ma, "Screw you, Ma!."
Again another minute passes by and Ma says to Pa, "Screw you, Pa!."
After a couple of minutes pass by, Pa says to Ma, "You know something, Ma!. I don't know what the fuss is all about but I just don't get too much from this oral sex thing!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
how many jokes are you going to ask for!?
you could use the search bar, even google!. and not have to lose points or wait for responses!.
it's called the internet, try searching it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
you could use the search bar, even google!. and not have to lose points or wait for responses!.
it's called the internet, try searching it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Had a good one but forgot what is was
senior citizen you knowWww@Enter-QA@Com
senior citizen you knowWww@Enter-QA@Com