10 POINTS AWARDED to funniest joke!!!?!


Question: 10 POINTS AWARDED to funniest joke!!!!?
What is dthe funniest joke you ever heard!?Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's ChristmasParty!. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party!.

As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong!.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table!.

And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed!.

He looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotlessly clean!.

So was the rest of the house!. He took the aspirins, and cringed when he saw a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror!.

Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove!. I left early to get
groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight!. I love you, darling!"

He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper!. His son was also at the table, eating!.

Jack asked, "Son, what happened last night!?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A!.M!. , drunk and out of your mind!. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway,

and got that black eye when you ran into the door!."


Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean!? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me!?!?


His son replied, "Oh THAT! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bi!@h, I'm married!!!'"Www@Enter-QA@Com

Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new stewardess!. The route they were flying had a layover in another city!. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight!.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing!. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened!. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room!. "You can't get out of your room!?" the captain asked, "Why not!?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground!. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head!. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services!. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do!?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy!. I can help!. First, let's make sure he's dead!. ” There is a silence, then a shot is heard!.

The guy's voice comes back on the line!. He says: “OK, now what!?“

Got this joke from a pretty cool website!.

"http://www!.tallrite!.com/LightRelief/w!.!.!.
It has the worlds funniest jokes!.

Like this one!? if not then try the site you'll like one of them atleast!.

Enjoy!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Jack was set to marry Jill, so his father sat him down for a little chat!. He said “Jack, let me tell you something: On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, ‘Here, try these on!.’”

She tried on the pants and said, “These just don’t fit,” to which I replied, “Exactly!. I wear the pants in this family and I always will!. Ever since that night we have never had a problem!.”

“Hmm,” said Jack, thinking this might be worth a try!. So, on his honeymoon Jack took off his pants and said to Jill, “Here, try these on!.”

Jill does so and says, “These just don’t fit,” to which Jack replied, “Exactly!. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don’t want you to ever forget that!.”

So, Jill took off her pants, handed them to Jack and said, “Here, you try on mine!.” Jack does so and says, “I can’t get into your pants,” to which Jill replied, “Exactly!. And if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!.”

It's funny, not the best, but funny!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

3 contruction workers sat down on the top floor of the building to eat lunch!. The 1st guy had a bologne sandwich and said
"If I ever see another bologne sandwich again, i will jump off this building"

The 2nd guy had a turkey sandwich and said
"If I ever see another turkey sanwich again, i will jump off this building"

The 3rd Guy had a chicken sandwich and said
"If I ever see another chicken sandwich i will jump offf this building"

So the next day at lunch, they all saw what they hated and all jumped off and died!. At their funeral, the wives of the 1st and 2nd construction workers were crying because they should've packed something different!. But the wife of the 3rd guy just stood there saying: "Don't look at me, the retard packed his own lunch!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age he had a few questions that heeded some answers!.
He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done!.

One day he took a question to his mother, who became rather flustered!. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend!.This he did!. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother!.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights!. Then he started kissing and hugging her!. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny!. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would!. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart beat!. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath!.His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt!. About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch!. This was when her fever started!. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot!.
Finally, I found out what was making them so sick!.!.!.!.!.!. A big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow!. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away!. When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that!. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen,
I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house!
Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off!. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep itfrom biting again!. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel!. The eel put up a hell of a fight!. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch!. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them!. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh!. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel!. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out!. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway!. He started hugging and kissing her again!. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fightagain!. I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or something!. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it!. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel!. I knew it was dead!
4 minutes ago - Edit - DeleteWww@Enter-QA@Com

The funnyest joke ever was

Bob was in trouble!. He forgot his wedding anniversary!. His wife was really pissed!.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work!. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway!.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house!.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale!.
Bob has been missing since Friday!. PLease pray for himWww@Enter-QA@Com

A boy wakes up in the middle of the night to a soft thudding!.
Scared, he goes to his parents' room!.
To his surprise, he finds his father over his mother in a wild doggy style!. The father yells "GET OUT!!" and the boy quickly runs back to his room!.
Soon after, the father finishes and decides to give his son 'the talk'!. He walks into his son's room and to HIS surprise he finds the boy over his grandmother doing her doggy style!.
The father yells!.!.!."WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!"

The boy simply replies!.!.!."Yep!. You don't like it when its your mom do ya!?!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com

A little girl was walking along a beach in California when
she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper
covering his genitals!.
The little girl said, "What do you have under that newspaper, Mister!?"
The man said, "Nothing, it's just a bird, now go away!"
The man thought nothing of her and quickly fell asleep!.
Hours later, the man woke up in a hospital bed in excrutiating pain!.
"Where the hell am I!?"
A doctor replied, "Someone called 9-1-1 and said you needed emergency
help, so we rushed you right over!."
"Well, what the hell happened to me!?"
"We don't know, son!. Do you remember anything unusual happening
to you today!?"
The man said, "Well, there was a little girl bugging me just
before I fell asleep!."
The doctor sent someone to the beach to see if the little girl was
still there, and she was!. The person said, "Do you know what happened
to that nice man you saw here earlier!?"
"Well," the little girl said, "I started to play with that nice little
bird that he had and the damn thing spit on me!. So, I wrung its neck,
broke its eggs, and set its nest on fire!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

(semi dirty)
3 dogs are sitting in a vets office!. dog number one turns to dog number to and ask!. why are you here
dog 2 responds with well!.!. I chewed up my owners shoes, now im getting put down!.!.
dog one responds ya, Im getting put down to!.!. I ripped up my owners chair!. both dogs turn to dog three and ask why he's here
dog 3 responds well, my owner likes to do her household cleaning in the nude, one day she bent over to vacuum under the table and i jumped on her back and gave her the ride of her life!.!. dog one and two say
so your getting put down to!?
dog 3 responds no!.!. im getting my nails clipped :)Www@Enter-QA@Com

um ok i have a corny since of humor but!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.


there were three men

1) said, hey i bet i can throw a rock around the world, so he did then saw a little girl crying and she said, oh a rock hit my dollhouse, and it was crushed

2) said, hey i bet i can throw a bolder around the world, so he did, then saw a little boy crying saying "a bolder hit my football and smashed it"

3) said hey i bet i can throw a bomb around the world, so he did, then a few minutes later he saw a giril laughing, she said "my grandma farted and my house blew up"

weierd i know lolWww@Enter-QA@Com

As you all know eagles mate for life!. One day Mr!. Eagle was waiting for Mrs!. Eagle to return home!. He waited and waited and she never came!. He waited for days, weeks, months until finally deciding he needed to find a new mate!.

The first gal he brought home was a Loon!. Well, the sex was great they had a good time together but there was one problem!.!.!.!.!. all the Loon kept saying was "I'm a Loon I'm a Loon and I love to spoon!."
Well the eagle just couldn't take this anymore and booted her out!.

The next gal he brought home was a dove!. The sex was even better than before and they got along great!! The dove just kept repeating "I'm a dove I'm a dove I want to make love!"!.
Well after awhile the eagle got tired of this too and booted her out!.

The third gal he brought home was a duck!. The sex was the best he'd EVER had, most frequent, and they got along AMAZINGLY!!! The duck kept repeating one certain phrase though::


"I'm a drake I'm a drake!.!.!.!.!.!.you made a mistake!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

Oh I've loads
what do you call a swimming pool full of leppers!? Porridge
How do you know if a blonde was on a pc!? There is tipex on the screen
How do you know if a blonde was on a pc!? The joy stick is wet

I've a real long one here so bear with me!.!.!.!.!.!.
A room packed with men are in the changing room of a gym!.
Mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk!.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen!.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Darling, it's me!. Are you at the club!?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat!. It's only £1,000!. Is it OK if I buy it!?"
MAN: "Sure,!.!.go ahead if you like it that much!."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models!. I saw one I really liked!."
MAN: "How much!?"
WOMAN: "£70,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options!."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing !.!.!. The house I wanted last year is back on the market!. They're asking £950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000!. They will probably take it!. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand!. It really is a pretty good price!."
WOMAN: "OK!. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too!."
The man hangs up!. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape!.!.!.!.!. He smiles and asks:
"Anyone know who this phone belongs to!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com

Please watch this link!. I LOVE Jo Koy! He is the funniest comedian ever!.!.!. And my other favorites are Dane cook, Nick Swardson!.!. the list goes on!. but this video clip is my favorite joke in the whole world!. Its not the only joke on the video but it goes a little something like "I get the worst compliments being asian!.!.!. They say like "oh your asian!? Oh I love orange chicken!. and I'm like wtf!? What kind of compliment is that!? How do I respond to that!.!.!.!. (chinese accent) OH SANK YOU!. SSSSAANK YOU!!!!!!" He is soo funny!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=zJVZl13Zx!.!.!.
It is the first 2 minutes of the video that he does that joke!. HA! So great!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Have you heard the one about the blonde who went to "Jokes & Riddles" & asked for jokes & riddles, instead of reading the jokes & riddles!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

Well funniest pick up line!?
haha, just heard this one:

"Hey baby! How about you sit down on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!?"
HAHAHAH!Www@Enter-QA@Com

1) A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"



2) Why cant hellen keller play the piano!?
!.!.!.!.!.!.CUZ SHES DEADWww@Enter-QA@Com

Personally I think the funniest joke is George W!.
GOTAA ADMIT!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

A man walked into a bar ow!!! (If you don't get it then your stupid)

I have another one but its kind of not apporpriate!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Guy: Are you tired!?
Girl: No, why would I be!?
Guy: Because you've been running through my mind all day!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

if jack was stuck on a horse would u help jack off the horse!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

Matthew Lush and Chris Crocker are doin' it and the phone rings!.!.!. Matt get's up and tells Chris, "Don't finish!.!.!. I'll brb" Matt answers the phone and goes back to Chris!.!.!. there's white stuff EVERYWHERE in the room!.!.!. "CHRIS! I told you not to finish!"

"Sorry Matt!.!. I didn't finish!.!.!. I farted!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

there was three men in a room, a rabbi and priest, and a gay man!. The rabbi said lechaim, the priest said emen, and the gay guy said ahmenWww@Enter-QA@Com

Why cant a women fart til they are married!?!?



Before they get married they dont have @$$holes!. (It is saying men are the @$$holes)Www@Enter-QA@Com

"monkey butt"Www@Enter-QA@Com

Im not fat im just big boned! also,YOU ORDER CHINESE FOOD!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

chicken buttWww@Enter-QA@Com

ha haWww@Enter-QA@Com



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