Jokes.............!?!


Question: Jokes!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!!?
if you can tell me something funny than i will give to the best answer thing!.!.!.!. ready !.!.!.!.!.!.set !.!.!.!.!.!.!.GO!!!!!!!!!!! best of luck^^

=P =DWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."



An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."


a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.



A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."

"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "

"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."



so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.



learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah



There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

Dave is told his girlfriend’s gone into labour early!. "Here’s the nurse’s direct number," a supervisor tells him!. Unfortunately, the number is wrong and Dave gets through to the local cricket club during a game!. "How’s everything going!?" he asks!.

"Oh, fine," says a cheery woman!. "We’ve got eight out already!."

"Eight!?" wails Dave, who’s nervous enough about becoming a dad!.

"Yep," she says!. "And the last one was a duck!."

joke 2

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world!. Watch while I prove it to you!."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son!?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves!.

"What did I tell you!?" said the barber!. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store!. "Hey son, May I ask you a question!? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill!?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"

joke 3

When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes!.

When the DENTIST says, Open wide!.

When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown!?

When the MILKMAN says, Do you want it in the front or the back!?

When the INTERIOR DECORATOR says, Once it's in, you'll love it!.

When the SHARE BROKER says, It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while and then slowly fall back again!.

When the BANKER says, If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!.

When the HUNTER says, Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots!.

When the TELEPHONE GUY says, Would you like it On the table or against the wall!?

joke4

This story happened about a month ago, in a little town in Mexico, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale it's real!.

This guy was on the side of the road, hitch hiking, on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm!. The night was black and no cars went by!. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him!. Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him!. It stopped!. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car, closed the door and and then realized there was nobody behind the wheel!.

The car started slowly!. The guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way!. Scared he starts to pray begging for his life!. He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears thru the window and moves the wheel!.!.The guy, paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they get to a curve!.

The guy, gathering strength, gets out of the car and runs to the nearest town!. Wet and in shock, he goes to a cantina and asks for two shots of tequila,and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went thru!. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy is crying and isn't drunk!.

About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same cantina and one said to the other!. "Look Pepe, there's the jerk that got in the car when we were pushing it!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

two Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi ! My name is Wanda!.

2nd woman: Hi ! I'm Sylvia!. How'd you die !?

1st woman: I froze to death!.

2nd woman: How horrible !

1st woman: It wasn't so bad!. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death!. What about you !?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack!. I suspected that my
husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act!. But instead, I found
him all by himself in the den
watching TV!.

1st woman: So, what happened !?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere
that I started running
all over the house looking!. I ran up into the attic and searched,
and down into the basement!.
Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds!.
I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became
so exhausted that I just keeled
over with a heart attack and died!.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer --- we'd both
still be alive!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Last Friday we were hanging out at popsi's bar, Sean got drunk and decided to walk home!.The cops notice his stumbling actions and told him to say his a,b,c, he could not go pass A they told him they were going to take him down town for getting drunk in public !.
"nope, wrong", sean uttered, i was drunk in the bar thats legal!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

ok this one is kinda stupid but!.!.!.

there were these three guys!. and they went to a hotel

the first guy was checking in and the check in guy was like "the only rooms that are left are haunted" the guy said "idk i'm really tired and just need a place to stay!."

so he went up to the room and heard "ITS COMING!! ITS COMING!!" he looked behind the dresser, to find NOTHING!. so he ran, he never came back

the second guy was checking in and the check in guy was like "the only rooms that are left are haunted" the guy said "idk i'm really tired and just need a place to stay!."

so he went up to the room and heard "ITS COMING!! ITS COMING!!" he looked behind the dresser, to find NOTHING!. he looked in the closet, NOTHING!. so he ran, he never came back

the third guy was checking in and the check in guy was like "the only rooms that are left are haunted" the guy said "idk i'm really tired and just need a place to stay!."

so he went up to the room and heard "ITS COMING!! ITS COMING!!" he looked behind the dresser, to find NOTHING!. he looked in the bathroom, there was an old man sitting on the toilet saying!.!.!.!. "ITS COMING!!! ITS COMING!!!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

why didnt the chicken cross the road!?





































































because its a chicken


hahahahah that always cracks me up!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

How many dogs does it take to annoy a neighbor!?



















One is always enough to turn their lawn from green to brown!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

listen to the son i kissed a girl by katy perry or your so gay also by katy perryWww@Enter-QA@Com

Pros & Cons By Redd Foxx

I kissed her lips, and just for meaness,
she twisted her legs and broke my glassesWww@Enter-QA@Com

Uhm!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

why do farts smell!?
so deaf people can enjoy them tooWww@Enter-QA@Com



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