Can you read my poem,please?!
Question: Can you read my poem,please!?
So soft and delicate, that it purified my tainted dreams
A sound so beautiful I just had to awake, to find that such a harmony was real!.*
How can a sound so beautiful, be so real!?
I could hear it clearly from where I were but my soul was wistful for more
So I stumbled to the dim light outside my bedroom door
To find a clock which had just struck midnight*
I felt my heart flutter as I heard another soft and mesmerizing key played,
which drew me closer to find him!.
I watched him yearningly from the stair top, gently and skillfully touch each key creating his brilliant yet heart-tugging melodies
He played such woeful and beautiful songs that tears had begun to flow freely down my I stayed cringe behind the bars a top the stairwell and listened to his musical sonnet
I glanced back only once to find the grandfather clock had then read four I distanced myself reluctantly from his song never wanting it to end I led myself back to darkness within my room where I let the melody cradle me to sleep* It started as days which soon became weeks that I visited the dim light beyond my room
As I listened once more to his same melodies, I turned around and thought, “he still hasn’t noticed me”
I heard the music cease!.
I turned around to see no being in front of the grand piano
I heard a deep voice whisper coolly in my ear “I know your here”
My heart stopped, my body froze, as my mind had begun to race
I wanted to leave but I couldn’t move for the adrenalin that had rushed over me
Until I felt a gentle kiss upon my cheek, then neck, then an unbarring sharp pain within my neck
It was too late when I realized he had caught me in his spell…
A Vampire’s spell *Www@Enter-QA@Com
A sound so beautiful I just had to awake, to find that such a harmony was real!.*
How can a sound so beautiful, be so real!?
I could hear it clearly from where I were but my soul was wistful for more
So I stumbled to the dim light outside my bedroom door
To find a clock which had just struck midnight*
I felt my heart flutter as I heard another soft and mesmerizing key played,
which drew me closer to find him!.
I watched him yearningly from the stair top, gently and skillfully touch each key creating his brilliant yet heart-tugging melodies
He played such woeful and beautiful songs that tears had begun to flow freely down my I stayed cringe behind the bars a top the stairwell and listened to his musical sonnet
I glanced back only once to find the grandfather clock had then read four I distanced myself reluctantly from his song never wanting it to end I led myself back to darkness within my room where I let the melody cradle me to sleep* It started as days which soon became weeks that I visited the dim light beyond my room
As I listened once more to his same melodies, I turned around and thought, “he still hasn’t noticed me”
I heard the music cease!.
I turned around to see no being in front of the grand piano
I heard a deep voice whisper coolly in my ear “I know your here”
My heart stopped, my body froze, as my mind had begun to race
I wanted to leave but I couldn’t move for the adrenalin that had rushed over me
Until I felt a gentle kiss upon my cheek, then neck, then an unbarring sharp pain within my neck
It was too late when I realized he had caught me in his spell…
A Vampire’s spell *Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
I don' know much but --- here goes
I think the first two lines should be switched!. or change the opening-- but use the same thought!. So soft, so delicate, it purified my tainted dreams!.
A sound so beautiful, I had to wake to find such a harmony so real!. (THERE SEEMS TO BE TOO MANY WORDS!.
I could hear it clearly from where I WAS, but my soul was wistful for more!.
So i stumbled!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
To a clock that just struck midnight!.
I felt my heart flutter!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. key play or played!. IF I THINK RIGHT IT SHOULD BE PLAY!.
BUT I CAN SORTA SEE PLAYED--- WORK ON THAT SECTION!.
I watched him YEARLINGLY--- Is that the word you want!.
He played such woeful!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.TEARS BEGAN TO FLOW FREELY DOWN my!?
CRINGED!!!!!!!!
A TOP or AT THE TOP
AS MY MIND BEGAN TO RACE
ADREALIN that rushed--- not had rushed
WHAT ABOUT_Silently (or another adjctive) quicky,suddenly
I felt a kiss upon my cheek, then an unbarring pain in my neck!.
How about-- I HEARD THE MUSIC STOP__
How about-- I TURNED AROUND and saw no one!.!.!.!.!.-- or I TURNED And saw no one
CAN THE VOICE WHISPER SOMETHING LIKE "I WANT YOU" OR "I NEED YOU"--- "I FEEL YOU OR I SEE YOU>>>>>!.
I was too late when I realized I was caught!.!.!. in his spell!.
A Vampire's spell
Check the grammar, too much wording!.
I hope I wans't too critical!. You can still be a writer!. I think you should try short stories!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I think the first two lines should be switched!. or change the opening-- but use the same thought!. So soft, so delicate, it purified my tainted dreams!.
A sound so beautiful, I had to wake to find such a harmony so real!. (THERE SEEMS TO BE TOO MANY WORDS!.
I could hear it clearly from where I WAS, but my soul was wistful for more!.
So i stumbled!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
To a clock that just struck midnight!.
I felt my heart flutter!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. key play or played!. IF I THINK RIGHT IT SHOULD BE PLAY!.
BUT I CAN SORTA SEE PLAYED--- WORK ON THAT SECTION!.
I watched him YEARLINGLY--- Is that the word you want!.
He played such woeful!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.TEARS BEGAN TO FLOW FREELY DOWN my!?
CRINGED!!!!!!!!
A TOP or AT THE TOP
AS MY MIND BEGAN TO RACE
ADREALIN that rushed--- not had rushed
WHAT ABOUT_Silently (or another adjctive) quicky,suddenly
I felt a kiss upon my cheek, then an unbarring pain in my neck!.
How about-- I HEARD THE MUSIC STOP__
How about-- I TURNED AROUND and saw no one!.!.!.!.!.-- or I TURNED And saw no one
CAN THE VOICE WHISPER SOMETHING LIKE "I WANT YOU" OR "I NEED YOU"--- "I FEEL YOU OR I SEE YOU>>>>>!.
I was too late when I realized I was caught!.!.!. in his spell!.
A Vampire's spell
Check the grammar, too much wording!.
I hope I wans't too critical!. You can still be a writer!. I think you should try short stories!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
good one!.!.!.!.!.excellent
very nice poem indeed
!.!.!.!.!.good job!.!.!.!.!.keep up the good onesWww@Enter-QA@Com
very nice poem indeed
!.!.!.!.!.good job!.!.!.!.!.keep up the good onesWww@Enter-QA@Com
its good but isnt it to long for a poem!?Www@Enter-QA@Com