I am in need of some comedy?!


Question: I am in need of some comedy!?
Tell me something hilarious!Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."



An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."


a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.



A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."

"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "

"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."



so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.



learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah



There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?



1!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Laxatives !.!.!.!.!. They irritate the crap out of you!.
2!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Bananas !.!.!.!.!.!. The older they get, the less firm they
are!.
3!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Weather !.!.!.!.!. Nothing can be done to change them!.
4!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Blenders !.!.!. You need One, but you're not quite sure
why!.
5!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Chocolate Bars !.!.!. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips!.
6!. Men are like !.!.!.!.Commercials !.!.!.!.!.!. You can't believe a word they say!.
7!. Men are like Department Stores !.!.!.!. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!.
8!. Men are like !.!. Government Bonds !.!.!. !. They take soooooooo long to
mature!.
9!. Men are like !.!. Mascara !.!.!.!.!. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion!.
10!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Popcorn !.!.!.!.!. They satisfy you, but only for a little
while!.
11!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Lava Lamps !.!.!. Fun to look at, but not very bright!.
12!. Men are like Parking Spots !.!.!.!.!.!.!. All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped!.Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain!?
A: Gifted!




Q: How do blonde braincells die!?
A: Alone!.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette!?
A: Artificial intelligence!.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink!?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane!?
A: She'd just dyed her hair!.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane!?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much!.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up!?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads!.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger!?
A: You can park in the handicap zone!.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up!?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear!.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks!?
A: It takes too long to retrain them!.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer!?
A: There's white-out on the screen!.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer!?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once!.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer!?
A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9!.!.!.!.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads!?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How do you kill a blonde!?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads!.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears!?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads!.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello!?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages!.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head!?
A: All you can eat, under a buck!.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles!?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar!.

Q: Why do Blondes like the GST!? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax)
A: Because they can spell it!.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes!?
A: Toes go in first!.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning!?
A1: Introduces themself!.
A2: Walks home!.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear!?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear!?
A: Data transfer!.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun!?
A: Because they don't know any better!.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb!?
A1: "What's a lightbulb!?"
A2: One!. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her!.
A3: Two!. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine!?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth!?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine!?

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant!?
A: "Are you sure it's mine!?"

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you!?
A: Tell her she's pregnant!.

Q: What will she ask you!?
A: "Is it mine!?"

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill!. Who picks it up!?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde!.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall!?
A: To see what was on the other side



Blonde Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack!?”

Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand who you are talking about”!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam!.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow!.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the
doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day!.
The doctor asked what happened and the man
explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing!. Then I tried with my left
hand, but still nothing!.
Then I asked my wife for help!. She tried with her
right hand, then with her left, still nothing!. She tried with her
mouth; first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing!. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and
she tried too; first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing!.
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor!?'
The old man replied, Yep, none of us could get
the jar open!. What were you thinkingWww@Enter-QA@Com

Hi, I Am 100% Girl And My Best Friend Is 99% Girl

Thats All I Got Besides This:

http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=uRu9-nF7A!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

OK, here goes!

http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=l8xFUMTvH!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

what do you call a woman who works as hard as a man!?







































lazyWww@Enter-QA@Com

Watch cedric the entertainer, chris rock,russell peters,madtv,!.!.!.all those are on youtube!have fun!Www@Enter-QA@Com

What was the first thing Adam ever said to Eve!?



"Stand back!, I don't know how big this thing gets"Www@Enter-QA@Com

look in your yearbook or the mirror!.!. you should get a good laugh!.!. it always works for me!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

if its not above me!.Www@Enter-QA@Com



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