Who knows the best joke?!
Question: Who knows the best joke!?
who ever puts the funniest gets the best answer and no links!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge!.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall!.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there!.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy!.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative!.He seems to be doing ok now!.!.!.!.!. I guess!." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy!?!? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not!?!? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!!.!.!.!.!."
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.
learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?
1!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Laxatives !.!.!.!.!. They irritate the crap out of you!.
2!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Bananas !.!.!.!.!.!. The older they get, the less firm they
are!.
3!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Weather !.!.!.!.!. Nothing can be done to change them!.
4!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Blenders !.!.!. You need One, but you're not quite sure
why!.
5!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Chocolate Bars !.!.!. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips!.
6!. Men are like !.!.!.!.Commercials !.!.!.!.!.!. You can't believe a word they say!.
7!. Men are like Department Stores !.!.!.!. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!.
8!. Men are like !.!. Government Bonds !.!.!. !. They take soooooooo long to
mature!.
9!. Men are like !.!. Mascara !.!.!.!.!. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion!.
10!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Popcorn !.!.!.!.!. They satisfy you, but only for a little
while!.
11!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Lava Lamps !.!.!. Fun to look at, but not very bright!.
12!. Men are like Parking Spots !.!.!.!.!.!.!. All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
An old man, went to the doctor to get a physical!.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm!.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you!?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful!.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that!. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!."
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady!.he says to her boy u have a big butt!.!.!.she goes!.!.!.why you!.!.!.!.!.and starts smacking him around!.he goes in the mens room!.!.!.fixes him self up!.!.!.!.combs/fixes his hair!.!.!.!.!.straightens out his glasses!.!.!.puts his teeth back in etc!. He goes back and sits beside the same lady!.He says to her!.!.!.!.boy u got small boobs!.!.!.!.!.she says do i really!.!.!.hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger!.She says how!. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off!.!.!.!.take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs!.!.!.she says omg!.!.!.do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it!.!.!.it worked on your big butt didnt it!.!.!.
A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."
"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "
"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions!.After many years he decides its time to retire!.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins!.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company!.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring!." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you!."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him!.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets!. He says to his friend"wallets!!? Is that all i get after all these years!!?" His friend says"Relax my friend!.You see its not just ordinary wallets!. After you rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set!.
learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Dum ***
5) Small Horse !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach!? !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week !.!.!. Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Fa Kin Su Pah
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St!. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies!.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well!.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa!.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other!.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman!.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE"!.
So, they wiggled up close to each other!.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer!.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!?
1!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Laxatives !.!.!.!.!. They irritate the crap out of you!.
2!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Bananas !.!.!.!.!.!. The older they get, the less firm they
are!.
3!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Weather !.!.!.!.!. Nothing can be done to change them!.
4!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Blenders !.!.!. You need One, but you're not quite sure
why!.
5!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.Chocolate Bars !.!.!. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips!.
6!. Men are like !.!.!.!.Commercials !.!.!.!.!.!. You can't believe a word they say!.
7!. Men are like Department Stores !.!.!.!. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!.
8!. Men are like !.!. Government Bonds !.!.!. !. They take soooooooo long to
mature!.
9!. Men are like !.!. Mascara !.!.!.!.!. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion!.
10!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.Popcorn !.!.!.!.!. They satisfy you, but only for a little
while!.
11!. Men are like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.Lava Lamps !.!.!. Fun to look at, but not very bright!.
12!. Men are like Parking Spots !.!.!.!.!.!.!. All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There are three kinds of mathematicians:
those who can count and those who can't!.
There are two groups of people in the world;
those who believe that the world can be
divided into two groups of people,
and those who don't!.
There are two groups of people in the world:
Those who can be categorized into one of two
groups of people, and those who can't!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
those who can count and those who can't!.
There are two groups of people in the world;
those who believe that the world can be
divided into two groups of people,
and those who don't!.
There are two groups of people in the world:
Those who can be categorized into one of two
groups of people, and those who can't!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
THIS IS NOT COPY AND PASTED I PROMISE!!!
there was a college class and there was a big test the next day!.!.so the proffesor said to the class"there is no reason to be late unless you havea medical appointment or someone in ur family dies"!.!.!.so one dude in the back of the classroom said"what about if were late cuz of extreme sex exhaustion"!.!.!.!.so while the whole class is laughing the proffesor just sits there waiting for the class to get quiet!.!.!.so finally when the class is quiet the proffesor walks calmly up to the student in the back and says"Well than your just gonna have to write with ur other hand"
hahahahahaha!.!.!.i luv this joke!.!.!.its one of my favoritesWww@Enter-QA@Com
there was a college class and there was a big test the next day!.!.so the proffesor said to the class"there is no reason to be late unless you havea medical appointment or someone in ur family dies"!.!.!.so one dude in the back of the classroom said"what about if were late cuz of extreme sex exhaustion"!.!.!.!.so while the whole class is laughing the proffesor just sits there waiting for the class to get quiet!.!.!.so finally when the class is quiet the proffesor walks calmly up to the student in the back and says"Well than your just gonna have to write with ur other hand"
hahahahahaha!.!.!.i luv this joke!.!.!.its one of my favoritesWww@Enter-QA@Com
this man goes to work on a monday morning with two black eyes!. a co worker greets him with a good morning and says how did you get that black eye!?!? the man says well, me and my wife were in church yesterday morn ing and when the preacher told us all to stand up!.!.this fat lady in front of me stood up and her dress was in her crack so i just reached over and pulled it out and she hit me!.!.!.!.!.the coworker is cracking up!.!.but how did you get the other black eye!?!?!? theman says well!.!.i figured that she did;nt want it out so i tucked it back in! ha haWww@Enter-QA@Com
there once was a genie with a ten foot wenie e showed it to the girl next door she mistook it for a snake and beat it with a rake and now sadly sadly its only 1 foot 4Www@Enter-QA@Com
I was about to put a link!.!.!.
I sh*t laughing with!.!.!.
but You said not links !.
bye!.
I have read very well each an every one of the jokes !.!.!.!.
so,if I heard an standing comediant mention any of them I gonna laugh at You!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I sh*t laughing with!.!.!.
but You said not links !.
bye!.
I have read very well each an every one of the jokes !.!.!.!.
so,if I heard an standing comediant mention any of them I gonna laugh at You!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why do leprechauns laugh when they run!?
The grass tickles their balls!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The grass tickles their balls!.Www@Enter-QA@Com