What are some good jokes??!


Question: What are some good jokes!?!?
Answers:
I like this one:

A guy whose hand was broken and put in cast returns to doc to have cast removed!.
He asks doctor, "When the cast is off will be able to play the piano!?"
Doc says: "of course"
Man with healing hand says, "Thank God!. I never could play before!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me!.!.!. They must be Gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me!.!.!. I must be a God!Www@Enter-QA@Com

A corned-beef sandwich walks into a bar!.

The bartender says "Get out! We don't serve food here"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Blonde caller:“Can you give me the telephone number for Jack!?”
Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand who you are talking about”
Blond Caller: “On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning!. Now, can you give me the number for Jack!?”







blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest!.!.!.!.!.Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4





These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland!.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home!.



They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre!. They went to see "Closed For The Winter"!.

why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet




Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths!."
Blond: Yeth!. And I'm not even thickteen yet


how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box



this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention!.So she eventually got her to the emrgency!.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"!? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button!."



two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour!. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train!.


Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals!. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person!.

"Yes," said the policeman!. "The detectives want very badly to capture him!."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture!?"






The teacher told the class that today they’d be guessing objects from physical description!. She said, "I will hold an object under my desk and physically describe it to you, and then class, you have to tell me what you think it is I have under my desk!." First the teacher said, "I have something long and yellow, what is it!?" Sally raises her hand and the teacher calls on her, "What do you think it is Sally!?" "It’s a banana", replied Sally!. "No, it’s a pencil" said the teacher, "But I like the way you think!." Next the teacher said, "I’m holding something round and red, what is it!?" Billy raises his hand and the teacher calls on him, "What do you think it is Billy!?" "It’s a tomato" says Billy!. "No, it’s an apple" says the teacher, "but I like the way you think!." Little Johnny raises his hand so the teacher calls on him and says, "Yes Little Johnny!." "Well Ms!. Smith, I have one for you" says Little Johnny!. "Okay says the teacher!." "What’s round, hard, and has a head!?" replied Little Johnny!. "Oh no, Little Johnny that is not appropriate for school at all!." says the teacher!. "It’s a quarter" says Little Johnny, "but I like the way you think!."



One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit!. "Now
class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of
fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about!."

"Okay, first: it's round, plumb and red!."

Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely,
ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple!."

"No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking!. Now, for the
second!. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish!."

Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get
the teacher to call on him!. But she skips him again and calls on
Billy!.

"Is it a peach!?"
"No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato!. But I like you're
thinking!. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard!."

By now, Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand
frantically!. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally!.
"A banana," she says!.

"No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your
thinking!."

Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly!. "Hey,
I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket!.
Okay, I've got it: it's about 8 inches long, hard, and
it's got a little pink head on it!."

"Johnny!" she cries!. "That's disgusting!"

"Nope," answers Johnny, "its a pencil, but I like your
thinking!"




Little Johnny is in school one day and the teacher asked him to
use the words "bitter end" in a sentence!.

Little Johnny thought for a moment and said "The dog chased the
cat through the house and it bitter end!."


A bus stops and 2 men get on with really strong accents!. They sit down and
have a conversation!.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but all of a sudden when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first!. Den I come!. Den two esses acoma together!. I
come once-a-more!. Two esses, they comma together again!. I
come again and pee twice!. Then I come one lasta time!."

"You dirty-mouth pigs," yelled the lady
!.” In this country !. !. !. we don't speak dirty in
public places about our sex lives!. !. !. "

"Hey, relax lady whats sa-matter for you!?," said the man!. "Who talkin' abouta
sex!?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'!."Www@Enter-QA@Com



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