More one liners?!
Question: More one liners!?
1!. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
own pants!.
2!. Marriage changes passion!. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative!.
3!. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it!. So I said
"Implants!?" She hit me!.
4!. I don't do drugs!. I get the same effect just standing up fast!.
5!. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea!.!.!."
6!. I live in my own little world!. But it's OK!. They know me here!.
7!. I got a sweater for Christmas!. I really wanted a screamer or a
moaner!.
8!. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal!?
9!. I don't approve of political jokes!. I've seen too many of them
get elected!.
10!. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's!.
11!. I love being married!. It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life!.
12!. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect!.
13!. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
days I have stayed alive!.
14!. How come USA choose's from just two people to run for president and
50 for Miss America!?
15!. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a
peeing section in a swimming pool!?
16!. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see
naked!?
17!. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled!.
18!. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
19!. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail!.!.!.but, a true
friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn!.!.!.that was fun!"-
20!. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing!. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed
up in the first place!
21!. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunky dunk!."
22!. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them!.
23!. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell
the difference!.
24!. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over!?
25!. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet!.
26!. My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that's what
he said)!. ;
27!. Just remember!.!.!.if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!.
28!. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called LABOUR!
29!. Wouldn't you know it!.!.!.Brain cells come and brain cells go, but
FAT cells live forever!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
own pants!.
2!. Marriage changes passion!. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative!.
3!. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it!. So I said
"Implants!?" She hit me!.
4!. I don't do drugs!. I get the same effect just standing up fast!.
5!. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea!.!.!."
6!. I live in my own little world!. But it's OK!. They know me here!.
7!. I got a sweater for Christmas!. I really wanted a screamer or a
moaner!.
8!. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal!?
9!. I don't approve of political jokes!. I've seen too many of them
get elected!.
10!. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's!.
11!. I love being married!. It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life!.
12!. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect!.
13!. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
days I have stayed alive!.
14!. How come USA choose's from just two people to run for president and
50 for Miss America!?
15!. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a
peeing section in a swimming pool!?
16!. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see
naked!?
17!. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled!.
18!. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
19!. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail!.!.!.but, a true
friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn!.!.!.that was fun!"-
20!. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing!. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed
up in the first place!
21!. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunky dunk!."
22!. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them!.
23!. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell
the difference!.
24!. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over!?
25!. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet!.
26!. My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that's what
he said)!. ;
27!. Just remember!.!.!.if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!.
28!. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called LABOUR!
29!. Wouldn't you know it!.!.!.Brain cells come and brain cells go, but
FAT cells live forever!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
1!.) Thank God I'm and atheist
2!.) I don't apologize! I'm sorry, but that's just the way i am!Www@Enter-QA@Com
2!.) I don't apologize! I'm sorry, but that's just the way i am!Www@Enter-QA@Com
hahah theyre good
i have one
the seven dwarfs were sitting in a bath feeling happy, so happy got out and left
HAHAWww@Enter-QA@Com
i have one
the seven dwarfs were sitting in a bath feeling happy, so happy got out and left
HAHAWww@Enter-QA@Com
Very good I enjoyed that particularly number 19Www@Enter-QA@Com
ohhhmyyyygooddddd these are sooooo funnY!!!!! ok i love the first one sooooooooooo much!. you have the gift of one-liners!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol those are amazing!! *have a star!Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol I love 15 26 and 28 those are the bestWww@Enter-QA@Com
Brilliant!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Really funny I like 7 & 19!. I've got one too!. A girl walks into a bar & says "OUCH!"!.LOLWww@Enter-QA@Com
They're good - really liked 2 and 7!. Took me a while to read in between the sniggers!. xWww@Enter-QA@Com
great list thanks for sharing!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Hahah
My favorites are 21, 27, and 29!.
Nice job!Www@Enter-QA@Com
My favorites are 21, 27, and 29!.
Nice job!Www@Enter-QA@Com
haha der gd!.!.!. =]Www@Enter-QA@Com
one word:rubbish
joke
they r so awsome reallyWww@Enter-QA@Com
joke
they r so awsome reallyWww@Enter-QA@Com