Your favorite joke?!
Question: Your favorite joke!?
good, clean, HILARIOUS joke please!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Two blondes were taking a walk when one blonde exclaimed "Look! Moose tracks!" The other blonde said "You idiot! Those are rabbit tracks!" And it went on for a while!. "Rabbit!" "Moose!"!. They were still arguing when the train hit them!.
Aging Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, Earl!. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death!.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the first place!.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman!. The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast!."
Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee!.
Female Comebacks
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before!?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore!.
Man: Is this seat empty!?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down!.
Man: Your place or mine!?
Woman: Both!. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine!.
Man: So, what do you do for a living!?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator!.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign!?
Woman: Do not enter!.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning!?
Woman: Unfertilized!.
Man: Your body is like a temple!.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today!.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you!.
Woman: But would you stay there!?
~~~~~
Man: Your place or mine!?
Woman: Both!. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine!.
Man: Fine with me, I don't care where you go after we're done in the car!.
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand!?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know!?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the
words!?
Why do we say something is out of whack!? What is a whack!?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing!?
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing!?
Why do "tug" boats push their barges!?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"
when we are already there!?
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting!?
Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light"!?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the
unexpected expected!?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites!?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things!?
If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it!?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting!?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular!?
Why do we put suits in garment bags
and garments in a suitcase!?
Why do we wash bath towels!?
Aren't we clean when we use them!?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle!?
Just a few cute jokes I like!. :]Www@Enter-QA@Com
Aging Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, Earl!. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death!.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the first place!.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman!. The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast!."
Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee!.
Female Comebacks
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before!?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore!.
Man: Is this seat empty!?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down!.
Man: Your place or mine!?
Woman: Both!. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine!.
Man: So, what do you do for a living!?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator!.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign!?
Woman: Do not enter!.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning!?
Woman: Unfertilized!.
Man: Your body is like a temple!.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today!.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you!.
Woman: But would you stay there!?
~~~~~
Man: Your place or mine!?
Woman: Both!. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine!.
Man: Fine with me, I don't care where you go after we're done in the car!.
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand!?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know!?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the
words!?
Why do we say something is out of whack!? What is a whack!?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing!?
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing!?
Why do "tug" boats push their barges!?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"
when we are already there!?
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting!?
Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light"!?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the
unexpected expected!?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites!?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things!?
If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it!?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting!?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular!?
Why do we put suits in garment bags
and garments in a suitcase!?
Why do we wash bath towels!?
Aren't we clean when we use them!?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle!?
Just a few cute jokes I like!. :]Www@Enter-QA@Com