Nasty jokes, hope you like em....?!
Question: Nasty jokes, hope you like em!.!.!.!.!?
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"
The bartender asks "Are you having a bad day!?"
The guy replies, "Nope, I'm celebrating my first *******!"
The bartender congradulates him and says, "Well in that case, let me give you a beer on the house!."
The guy replies, "No thanks, if this doesn't take the taste out of my mouth, nothing will!."
In a small cathedral, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest!.
The priest asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me!? I really have to go to the bathroom and Widow McGee is coming!. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done, just give her 10 Hail Marys!. I'll be right back!."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed!. Just as expected, Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession!.
"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable," she said!. "I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex!."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation—surely 10 Hail Marys would not do!. So in a moment of desperation, the janitor peeked his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the priest give for oral sex!?"
The altar boy replied, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke!."
A very handsome and even more confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman!. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment!.
The woman notices this and can't help but ask, "Is your date running late!?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it!."
The woman is intrigued and asks, "A state-of-the-art watch!? What's so special about it!?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains!.
"What's it telling you now!?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties!.!.!."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
The man taps on the face of the watch and explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast!."
A guy is hiking up a mountain when he notices a girl standing at the edge of a cliff, crying profusely!.
“Hey,” he says, “if you’re going to jump, how about giving me a ******** before you do it!?”
“My life’s been nothing but crap,” says the girl!. “So I might as well!.”
After the girl’s done, the guy says, “Wow, that was great!. Why are you so depressed, anyway!?”
The girl replies, “My family disowned me for dressing like a woman!.”Www@Enter-QA@Com
The bartender asks "Are you having a bad day!?"
The guy replies, "Nope, I'm celebrating my first *******!"
The bartender congradulates him and says, "Well in that case, let me give you a beer on the house!."
The guy replies, "No thanks, if this doesn't take the taste out of my mouth, nothing will!."
In a small cathedral, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest!.
The priest asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me!? I really have to go to the bathroom and Widow McGee is coming!. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done, just give her 10 Hail Marys!. I'll be right back!."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed!. Just as expected, Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession!.
"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable," she said!. "I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex!."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation—surely 10 Hail Marys would not do!. So in a moment of desperation, the janitor peeked his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the priest give for oral sex!?"
The altar boy replied, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke!."
A very handsome and even more confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman!. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment!.
The woman notices this and can't help but ask, "Is your date running late!?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it!."
The woman is intrigued and asks, "A state-of-the-art watch!? What's so special about it!?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains!.
"What's it telling you now!?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties!.!.!."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
The man taps on the face of the watch and explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast!."
A guy is hiking up a mountain when he notices a girl standing at the edge of a cliff, crying profusely!.
“Hey,” he says, “if you’re going to jump, how about giving me a ******** before you do it!?”
“My life’s been nothing but crap,” says the girl!. “So I might as well!.”
After the girl’s done, the guy says, “Wow, that was great!. Why are you so depressed, anyway!?”
The girl replies, “My family disowned me for dressing like a woman!.”Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
FUNNY guy!
hahahaha
keep it upWww@Enter-QA@Com
hahahaha
keep it upWww@Enter-QA@Com
hahahaha LMFAO hahahaha
first one was ok
second one was frikkin hilarious
third one was clever
and the third one i was almsot crying of laffter
am liking!.!.!. :D:D:D:DWww@Enter-QA@Com
first one was ok
second one was frikkin hilarious
third one was clever
and the third one i was almsot crying of laffter
am liking!.!.!. :D:D:D:DWww@Enter-QA@Com
I literally ROFL-ed at this the priest one was funny, but the last one was the funniest post more i'm putting a star for thisWww@Enter-QA@Com
lmao this is awesomeWww@Enter-QA@Com
I think the last two are my favorites!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Lol i like the 3rd one!! What a line!!
Lmaoo!!
Thanks for the laugh!! =D xxWww@Enter-QA@Com
Lmaoo!!
Thanks for the laugh!! =D xxWww@Enter-QA@Com
haha!.!.that last one was phunnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
ha ha those were greatWww@Enter-QA@Com
lmao i only got that last one! it was funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com
the last 3 were greatWww@Enter-QA@Com
ha ha i liked the last one!.Www@Enter-QA@Com