What's the funniest joke you have ever heard?!
Question: What's the funniest joke you have ever heard!?
Short or Long jokes welcome!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate!. St!. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe!."
So they all agree and are admitted in!. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth!. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen!.
The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is!. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe!.
So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man!. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women!?"
He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them!." She says to the first two guys, "I lied!."
if u didnt get the end at first here it is
the hot woman died and went to heaven and lied and got sent to the ugliest manWww@Enter-QA@Com
So they all agree and are admitted in!. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth!. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen!.
The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is!. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe!.
So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man!. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women!?"
He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them!." She says to the first two guys, "I lied!."
if u didnt get the end at first here it is
the hot woman died and went to heaven and lied and got sent to the ugliest manWww@Enter-QA@Com
this one can be adjusted to suit your audience!. i will be usuing your name so remember its just a joke
three cash-strapped midgets were walking down the street,looking for work!. they walked past the guinness book of records office and saw a sign '$1000 for every new world record'
'hurray' said the 1st midget,' my hands are tiny,im going in'
10 mins later he comes out with a certificate for worlds smallest hands and a cheque for $1000!.
'cool' said the 2nd midget' my feet are tiny,im going in'
10 mins later he comes out with a certificate for worlds smallest feet and a cheque for $1000!.
'brilliant' said the 3rd midget' my pecker is tiny,im going in'
5 mins later he comes out in tears and shouts ' WHO THE F*CK IS MICHAEL G'
HA HAHAHA HA HAHAHA HAAHHAHAHAHAWww@Enter-QA@Com
three cash-strapped midgets were walking down the street,looking for work!. they walked past the guinness book of records office and saw a sign '$1000 for every new world record'
'hurray' said the 1st midget,' my hands are tiny,im going in'
10 mins later he comes out with a certificate for worlds smallest hands and a cheque for $1000!.
'cool' said the 2nd midget' my feet are tiny,im going in'
10 mins later he comes out with a certificate for worlds smallest feet and a cheque for $1000!.
'brilliant' said the 3rd midget' my pecker is tiny,im going in'
5 mins later he comes out in tears and shouts ' WHO THE F*CK IS MICHAEL G'
HA HAHAHA HA HAHAHA HAAHHAHAHAHAWww@Enter-QA@Com
ok here goes!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
There was a man that had been traveling and needed to use the bathroom very bad so he pulls up to a restaurant and goes inside!.!.!.The lady greets him and asks how she may help and he tell her that he needs to use the bathroom!.!.!.!.The lady tells him that their mens restrooms are out of service but since there was no one else there yet that he could use the women's restroom!.!.!.!.On his way she shouts to him whatever you do just don't push the third button not thinking twice about it he say ok!!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.After a while of sitting on the toilet he sees three buttons and was a little curious so he pushes the first one, and his butt gets washed he thought well that was nice, so he decides to push the 2nd button it powders his butt well that wont so bad he thought so he was a litter curious and pushed the third button and wakes up hours later in the hospital!.!.!.!.Wandering how he got there he asked the nurse what happened to him!.!.!.she replied with a serious question did you by chance push the third button!? After a pause he embarrassingly said yes but what did it do I'm wandering!?,Well the nurse replied it was a tampon remover!Www@Enter-QA@Com
There was a man that had been traveling and needed to use the bathroom very bad so he pulls up to a restaurant and goes inside!.!.!.The lady greets him and asks how she may help and he tell her that he needs to use the bathroom!.!.!.!.The lady tells him that their mens restrooms are out of service but since there was no one else there yet that he could use the women's restroom!.!.!.!.On his way she shouts to him whatever you do just don't push the third button not thinking twice about it he say ok!!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.After a while of sitting on the toilet he sees three buttons and was a little curious so he pushes the first one, and his butt gets washed he thought well that was nice, so he decides to push the 2nd button it powders his butt well that wont so bad he thought so he was a litter curious and pushed the third button and wakes up hours later in the hospital!.!.!.!.Wandering how he got there he asked the nurse what happened to him!.!.!.she replied with a serious question did you by chance push the third button!? After a pause he embarrassingly said yes but what did it do I'm wandering!?,Well the nurse replied it was a tampon remover!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over!.
The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde!.
She asked for the blonde's driver's license!.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like!?'
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom!.
She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman!.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go!. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde!.
She asked for the blonde's driver's license!.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like!?'
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom!.
She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman!.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go!. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
there's a few my grandpa told me this one!.!.!.
there's a guy on a bridge and he about to commit suicide
then a man walks up and he has no arms he looks at the man about to jump all mad and yells you f#ckin think you got it bad!?!?!? I CANT EVEN SCRATCH MY OWN ***!.!.!. and he waddles his a$s around
lol its more of a visual joke :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
there's a guy on a bridge and he about to commit suicide
then a man walks up and he has no arms he looks at the man about to jump all mad and yells you f#ckin think you got it bad!?!?!? I CANT EVEN SCRATCH MY OWN ***!.!.!. and he waddles his a$s around
lol its more of a visual joke :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Prank Call:
caller: hello!? is there a Hugh Jazz there!? can you find a Hugh Jazz!?
hilarity will follow!. call a public place, where there are lots of people and so they will hear!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
caller: hello!? is there a Hugh Jazz there!? can you find a Hugh Jazz!?
hilarity will follow!. call a public place, where there are lots of people and so they will hear!.Www@Enter-QA@Com