Could you tell me your best (clean) joke please?!
Question: Could you tell me your best (clean) joke please!?
Suitable for seniors, so not too rude, thank you!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
This joke works best out-loud:
There is a man, and he sees these monks laughing, so he asked the monks, "Why are you laughing!?"
The monks replied, "You wouldn't know, you're not a monk!"
So the man asked, "What does it take to be a monk!?"
"Well first, you have to go through the initiation process!." So they took him to this odd building, which had something to do with the initiation process!.
But once he opened the door, he found the room was a giant river of lava!. So he bought a heat-proof canoe!.
He went across the river of lava, in his heat-proof canoe, and found a locked door!. So he had to go back across the river of lava in his heat-proof canoe, and found on the threshold, a key!.
So he went across the river of lava, in his heat-proof canoe, opened the locked door and found a set of magical stairs, which you must go up and down repeatedly to unlock the door on the other end!.
So he went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, and opened the door to find a magical room of lightening, which meant he had to turn back!.
So he went down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, bought a lightening-repeling rod, went back across the river of lava, then up the stairs down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of lightening and came to another locked door!.
so he went back across the room of lightening, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, found a key on the threshold, went back across the river of lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of lightening, opened the door and found!.!.!.
another set of magical stairs!. So he went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, and came to the magical room of hurricanes, where the wind is so strong, he can't continue!.
so he went back down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the room of lightening, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, bought lead boots, went back across the river of lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of hurricanes, and found another locked door!.
So he went back across the room of huricanes, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the room of lightening, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, picked up the key on the threshold,
went back across the river of lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of lightening, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of hurricanes, unlocked the door and found a third set of magical stairs!!!
So he went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, and found a magical room of quicksand!.
He went back down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the room of huricanes, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the room of lightening, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, bought a grappling hook!.!.!.
went back across the river of lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of lightening, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of hurricanes, then up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs
Across the room of quicksand, opened the locked door, and, after the unstaisfactory of the fourth set of magical stairs, he screamed out in anger, ran away and guess what he found!.!.!.
You wouldn't know, you're not a monk!
(And this took FOREVER to type, so please don't just skip to the end!)Www@Enter-QA@Com
There is a man, and he sees these monks laughing, so he asked the monks, "Why are you laughing!?"
The monks replied, "You wouldn't know, you're not a monk!"
So the man asked, "What does it take to be a monk!?"
"Well first, you have to go through the initiation process!." So they took him to this odd building, which had something to do with the initiation process!.
But once he opened the door, he found the room was a giant river of lava!. So he bought a heat-proof canoe!.
He went across the river of lava, in his heat-proof canoe, and found a locked door!. So he had to go back across the river of lava in his heat-proof canoe, and found on the threshold, a key!.
So he went across the river of lava, in his heat-proof canoe, opened the locked door and found a set of magical stairs, which you must go up and down repeatedly to unlock the door on the other end!.
So he went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, and opened the door to find a magical room of lightening, which meant he had to turn back!.
So he went down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, bought a lightening-repeling rod, went back across the river of lava, then up the stairs down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of lightening and came to another locked door!.
so he went back across the room of lightening, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, found a key on the threshold, went back across the river of lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of lightening, opened the door and found!.!.!.
another set of magical stairs!. So he went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, and came to the magical room of hurricanes, where the wind is so strong, he can't continue!.
so he went back down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the room of lightening, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, bought lead boots, went back across the river of lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of hurricanes, and found another locked door!.
So he went back across the room of huricanes, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the room of lightening, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, picked up the key on the threshold,
went back across the river of lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of lightening, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of hurricanes, unlocked the door and found a third set of magical stairs!!!
So he went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, and found a magical room of quicksand!.
He went back down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the room of huricanes, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the room of lightening, down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs, across the river of lava, bought a grappling hook!.!.!.
went back across the river of lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of lightening, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, across the room of hurricanes, then up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs
Across the room of quicksand, opened the locked door, and, after the unstaisfactory of the fourth set of magical stairs, he screamed out in anger, ran away and guess what he found!.!.!.
You wouldn't know, you're not a monk!
(And this took FOREVER to type, so please don't just skip to the end!)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Three men were on a plane and one had an apple, one had a pear, and one had a bomb!. The plane started to have problems because it was carrying too much stuff so they tossed out some stuff including the bomb, the apple, and the peach!. After this, a guy was driving around and saw a little boy crying!. He stopped the car and asked the little boy why he was crying!. The little boy said that a pear fell out of the sky, hit his puppy, and killed it!.The man gave him a new puppy and went on driving!. Next he came to a little girl who was crying!. He stopped and asked why she was crying!. She said that an apple fell out of the sky, hit her kitten on the head, and killed it!. The man gave her a new kitten and went on driving!. He then came to a blonde who was laughing hysterically and asked what was so funny!. She said that she farted and blew up a building!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
3 animal jokes
There's these 2 giraffes, 1 is stretching up to eat the leaves off the top of the tree, but every time he tries to take a bite , the other one keeps bumping into him and knocking him away from the leaves!. So the 1st giraffe turns round and says to the other one, 'Giraffe to do that!?'
What did the sheep say to the shearer!?
'Eucalyptus'
What did the dog say when he sat on the sandpaper!?
'Ruff'Www@Enter-QA@Com
There's these 2 giraffes, 1 is stretching up to eat the leaves off the top of the tree, but every time he tries to take a bite , the other one keeps bumping into him and knocking him away from the leaves!. So the 1st giraffe turns round and says to the other one, 'Giraffe to do that!?'
What did the sheep say to the shearer!?
'Eucalyptus'
What did the dog say when he sat on the sandpaper!?
'Ruff'Www@Enter-QA@Com
a blone brunette and a redhead have run a stop sign and are being chased by the cops!.
they see 3 bags by the side of the road so they stop and get in the bags!.
the policeman saw the stationary car and the bags and realised they were hiding!.
so he went up to the bag with the brunette in it and kicked it
the brunette went woof! so the police man went awwww its a puppy
he then kicked the redhead, she went meow! the policeman went awwwwww its a kitten
finally he kicked the blonde and she said!.!.!.
potatoe!.
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
they see 3 bags by the side of the road so they stop and get in the bags!.
the policeman saw the stationary car and the bags and realised they were hiding!.
so he went up to the bag with the brunette in it and kicked it
the brunette went woof! so the police man went awwww its a puppy
he then kicked the redhead, she went meow! the policeman went awwwwww its a kitten
finally he kicked the blonde and she said!.!.!.
potatoe!.
lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
A MBA and a CA student go on a camping trip, set up their tent ,and fell asleep!.
Some hours later, the CA wakes his MBA friend and says "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see!."
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars!."
The CA asks, "What does that tell you!?"
The MBA ponders for a minute!. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo!.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three!.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant!.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!. What does it tell you!?"
The CA is silent for a moment, then speaks!.
"Practically!.!.!.Someone has stolen our tent"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Some hours later, the CA wakes his MBA friend and says "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see!."
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars!."
The CA asks, "What does that tell you!?"
The MBA ponders for a minute!. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo!.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three!.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant!.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!. What does it tell you!?"
The CA is silent for a moment, then speaks!.
"Practically!.!.!.Someone has stolen our tent"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
there was a little boy and girl riding in a car telling each other what their parents own one pointed to a big field and said my dad owns that the other pointed to a bigger field with some cows and said my dad owns that well after they go back a forth a while showing each other diff!. fields the boy finally said i bet i have something you dont and opened up his pants and pointed to his pee pee and said you dont have one of these and the little girl said no but as long as i have one of these (she pointed to her privates) i can get all of those i want!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
what can you serve but never eat!?
a volley ball
who is the most musical grandfather you could have!?
one who fiddles with his beard
why is the longest nose only 11 inches!?
cuz if it was 12 it would be a foot
I would recommend asking your parents for jokes!. they may be lame but they learned it from their parents which are now seniors!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
a volley ball
who is the most musical grandfather you could have!?
one who fiddles with his beard
why is the longest nose only 11 inches!?
cuz if it was 12 it would be a foot
I would recommend asking your parents for jokes!. they may be lame but they learned it from their parents which are now seniors!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
St Peter is guarding the gates of heaven, when he see's Jesus Christ walking by!.
"Excuse me sir!" St Peter shouts!.
Jesus walks over to Peter!.
"Yes, can I help you!?" he asks!.
"Please would you mind the gates while I run an errand!? All you have to do is ask about peoples background and family, to make sure they don't get in if they belong in hell"
"Of course" Jesus answers!.
He stands in front of the gates, waiting for someone to come over!. He spots a man coming towards him!. Remembering what Peter has told him, he starts questioning the man!.
"Did you have any family!?" Jesus asks!.
"Yes, I had a son, but I lost him!."
Jesus leans in towards the man, interested!.
"Tell me more about your son" he inquires!.
"Well, he had holes in his hands!." the man answers!.
Jesus gasps!.
"Father!?!"
The man leans in!.
"Pinochio!?!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Excuse me sir!" St Peter shouts!.
Jesus walks over to Peter!.
"Yes, can I help you!?" he asks!.
"Please would you mind the gates while I run an errand!? All you have to do is ask about peoples background and family, to make sure they don't get in if they belong in hell"
"Of course" Jesus answers!.
He stands in front of the gates, waiting for someone to come over!. He spots a man coming towards him!. Remembering what Peter has told him, he starts questioning the man!.
"Did you have any family!?" Jesus asks!.
"Yes, I had a son, but I lost him!."
Jesus leans in towards the man, interested!.
"Tell me more about your son" he inquires!.
"Well, he had holes in his hands!." the man answers!.
Jesus gasps!.
"Father!?!"
The man leans in!.
"Pinochio!?!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A man walked into a bar and says
"Give me a Less Beer !"
The bartenders says "What!?"
and he says," Went to the doctor yesterday and he
said I should drink "Less Beer !"Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Give me a Less Beer !"
The bartenders says "What!?"
and he says," Went to the doctor yesterday and he
said I should drink "Less Beer !"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Y DID THE ORANGE GO TO THE DOCTORS!?
because he wasn't peeling well
WOT DO U CALL A DOG WID NO LEGS!?
doesn't matter wot u call it cause it won't *** anyway!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
because he wasn't peeling well
WOT DO U CALL A DOG WID NO LEGS!?
doesn't matter wot u call it cause it won't *** anyway!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q!.How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plough!?
A!. Give her a spadeWww@Enter-QA@Com
A!. Give her a spadeWww@Enter-QA@Com
the dirty little boy took a BATH!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
How does the man in the moon cut his hair!?
Eclipse it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Eclipse it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com