Funny bumper stickers?!


Question: Funny bumper stickers!?
know any good ones!?Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
When The Rapture Comes, Can I Have Your Car!?

Where there's a will, I want to be in it!.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math!.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

Horn broken!. Watch for fingerWww@Enter-QA@Com

this are real ones =D

WOMEN ARE LEADERS!!!
ha your driving behind one now!

If u like my tail lights then you'll like my headlights ;)

BAD COP NO DONUT!

My car is better MUAHAHAHAHA (works if you have a nice car)

Uncle Sam wants u to speak English (this one is kinda mean)

your kids an "HONOR" student, but your a MORON

if i gave a sh!t you'd probably be the first one to get it

even though this is a stupid sticker your squinting to read it

i have the perfect body, but its in the trunk and beginning to stink

xD =D xD lolWww@Enter-QA@Com

There is one on Facebook!.!.!.

It a cat sitting on a glass table, and the picture is taken from under the table!.

and it says " Hovercat, requesting permission to land"

I thought it was funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com

If it's real ones (you know, that go on cars!?) then:

'if you're reading this then you're too close to my beaver' (with a picture of a beaver)

'ha ha! you're stuck behind me, I can't drive and I have no insurance!'

lol =)Www@Enter-QA@Com

Watch It People Supermom driving this SUV


AND


My Student and Money go to USU (-A Collage)Www@Enter-QA@Com

real ones or facebook ones!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

Monica Lewinsky's X-boyfriend's wife for President!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Come to the dark side!. We have cookies =)!
Out of all of the sperm and you were the fastest!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

well the one that says BUSH and after the U there are two L's and after the H there is an I and a TWww@Enter-QA@Com

Ive crossed over to the dark side, dont worry i brought a flashlight!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Chaos, Panic, Disorder!. My work here is done!

That one I have!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

I brake for Frogger!. :)Www@Enter-QA@Com

Sports


Skiers' Checklist Forwarded by Katsuey
Ski season is here!. The following is a list of exercises is to help you prepare:

Soak your gloves in water and store them in the freezer after every use!.

Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night!.

If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses!.

Throw away a hundred dollar bill - now!.

Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles!. Pretend you are looking for your car!.

Sporadically drop things!.

Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice,and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes!.

Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away!.

Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed!.

Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8!.50 for a hamburger!. Be sure you are in the longest line!.

Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face!.

Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler!.

Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face!. Leave the ice on your face until it melts!. Let it drip into your clothes!.

Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom!.

Slam your thumb in a car door!. Don't go see a doctor!.

Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing!.


Camping Tips
The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling!.

The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations!. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle!.

It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding
mountain road behind a large motor home!.


FRANCE Forwarded by Cheryl Agne

"Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion!." - Donald Rumsfeld, U!.S!. Secretary of Defense

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure - Jacques Chirac, President of France!. "As far as France is concerned, you're right!." - Rush Limbaugh

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida!. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house!." - Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot!. Dropped once!.'" - Rep!. Roy Blount (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found
truffles in Iraq!." - Dennis Miller

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis!?" - Dennis Miller

"Raise your right hand if you like the French !.!.!. raise both hands if you
are French!." - Conan O'Brien

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein!? Because he hates Americans, he loves mistresses and wears a beret!. He is French, people!." - Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq!. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!." - Jay Leno

"What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII!? 'Table for 100,000 m'sieur'"!? - Jay Leno

"The last time the French ask for 'more proof', it came marching into
Paris under a German flag!." - David Letterman

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris!? It's not known, it's never been tried!." - Rep!. Roy Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII!? And that's because it was raining!." - John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv!.


Quotes From The Sidelines
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me!. I want all the kids to copulate me!."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season!.!.!."I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first!."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl" Matt Millen of the Raiders said to win, I'd run over Joe's mom too!."

"Nobody in football should be called a genius!. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein!."

An NC State player, when asked several years ago by a sportscaster to comment on his impressive opposite hand shot during a game reportedly said, "I've been amphibious for years!."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996 "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes!."

"You guys line up alphabetically by height!." - Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle!." - Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: "I play football!. I'm not trying to be a professor!.

The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school!."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter!? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton!."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to!."

Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro!."

Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is!."

1992-Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home!. We can't win on the road!. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play!."

1982 -Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt!."

1981 -Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back!."

1966 -Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose!. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football!?"

1981 -Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St!. Louis: "I'm going to send the injuredreserve players out for the toss next time!."

1991 -Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet!."

1986 -Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints GM, when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating!."

1991 -Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker!."

1996 -Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot!."

1991 -Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers: "He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that mean's we're Not going to any more bowl games!.' "

1986 -LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: "They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets!."

1991 -Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you!. Is it ignorance or apathy!?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care!.' "

1991 -Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men!. He lets us wear earrings!."

1987 -Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject!."




Great Quotes (Initially forwarded by Cheryl Agne!. Many entries added since!.)
For those of you who would like to improve your outlook on life!.!.!.
If God wanted most of us to see the sunrise, He would have scheduled it later in the day!.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried!.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking!.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it!.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism!.

He who hesitates is probably rigWww@Enter-QA@Com



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