I got 99 problems but a ..... aint one!!?!


Question: I got 99 problems but a !.!.!.!.!. aint one!!!?
ok so i'm bored here!. so can any of you guys say anything funny to make me laugh!? laughing would do me some good right now!. but say anything interesting!. so GO! and don't worry cuz I WILL choose a best answer!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Here is an old'y but goodie;

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot"!. I call mine Sex!. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me!. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex!. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like!. I said, "You don't understand!. !.!.!. I have had Sex since I was nine years old!." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy!." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding!. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over!. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex!." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church!. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding!. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace!. My family was barred from the church from then on!.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me!. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex!. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex!. I said, "You don't understand!. !.!.!. Sex keeps me awake at night!." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest!. But before the competition began, the dog ran away!. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around!. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest!. He said that I should have sold my own tickets!. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV!." He called me a show off!.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog!. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married!." The Judge said, "Same here!"

Last night Sex ran off again!. I spent hours looking all over for her!. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning!. I said, "I'm looking for Sex!." -- My case comes up next Thursday!.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw!. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble!?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever!. I can't live any longer being so lonely!." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years!. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed!.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom!. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years!. I saw how he kissed your neck!." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you!. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you!. This guy is probably very dangerous!. If he gets angry, he'll kill us!. Be strong, honey!. I love you!."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck!. He was whispering in my ear!. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline!. I told him it was in the bathroom!. Be strong honey!. I love you too!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

I don't have anything funny to say!. I'm really bad at comedy!. But this person had something that might help give you a chuckle or at least warm you up for better jokes!.
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

I hate the number 99, can you please get one more problem to make an even 100!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

Laser Monkey!.!.!. and be glad too cuzz that isnt a problem you want to haveWww@Enter-QA@Com

uh!.!.!.your momWww@Enter-QA@Com



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