Funny jokes please?!
Question: Funny jokes please!?
anyone got any good jokes!? any kind of jokes will do,Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
so this guy was getting ready for a big date tonight and gonna meet her parents!. he decides to stop by a pharmacy to pick up some condoms!. he wasnt sure which one to get so he asked the pharmacist for help!. He asked the boy, "gettin busy tonight!?"
the boy said yeah big time!. so he bought the condoms and was off to her house!.
at dinner the boy got chosen to say grace!. the boy was taking a long time so the gf leaned over and said i didnt know you were so religious and the boy said i didnt know your father was a pharmacist!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
the boy said yeah big time!. so he bought the condoms and was off to her house!.
at dinner the boy got chosen to say grace!. the boy was taking a long time so the gf leaned over and said i didnt know you were so religious and the boy said i didnt know your father was a pharmacist!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Trouble sleeping
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office!. "What seems to be the problem!?" the doctor asked!.
"Well, I, uh," she stammered!. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac!."
"I see," he said!. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour!."
"That's not bad," she replied!. "How much for all night!?"
**************************************!.!.!.
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist!.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better!.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face!.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem!. It is very common among losers!."
**************************************!.!.!.
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test!.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next!?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach!?"
**************************************!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office!. "What seems to be the problem!?" the doctor asked!.
"Well, I, uh," she stammered!. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac!."
"I see," he said!. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour!."
"That's not bad," she replied!. "How much for all night!?"
**************************************!.!.!.
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist!.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better!.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face!.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem!. It is very common among losers!."
**************************************!.!.!.
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test!.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next!?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach!?"
**************************************!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
There is a blond, a brunette and a black haired girl, all of them find a lucky leprechaun the leprechaun tells them as they jump in the pool of wishes to shout what they want the most and they land in it!. So the black haired girl jumps in first and shouts gold so she lands in gold, the brunette goes next and shouts silver and lands in silver, finally the blond goes and forgets about the wish and screams "weee" well we know we she landed in!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
i have some chucklers:
q) what do you do if a bird poops on your windscreen!?
a) dont take her out again!
HAHA
The seven dwarfs were sitting in a bath feeling happy, so happy got out and left
HAHA
A magic tractor was driving down the road and turned into a field
HAHA
A man lost his left arm and leg in a car accident, hes all right now
HAHA
q) why did the toilet paper roll down the hill!?
a) to get to the bottom
HAHA
q) what has a bottom at the top!?
a) a leg
HAHA
q) what did the grape say when it was run over!?
a) nothing, it let out a little wine
HAHA
an old one:
q) why did the sand blush!?
a) becuase the seaweed
HAHAWww@Enter-QA@Com
q) what do you do if a bird poops on your windscreen!?
a) dont take her out again!
HAHA
The seven dwarfs were sitting in a bath feeling happy, so happy got out and left
HAHA
A magic tractor was driving down the road and turned into a field
HAHA
A man lost his left arm and leg in a car accident, hes all right now
HAHA
q) why did the toilet paper roll down the hill!?
a) to get to the bottom
HAHA
q) what has a bottom at the top!?
a) a leg
HAHA
q) what did the grape say when it was run over!?
a) nothing, it let out a little wine
HAHA
an old one:
q) why did the sand blush!?
a) becuase the seaweed
HAHAWww@Enter-QA@Com
Through the Desert On a Man With No Ears
A man was in a bad accident and was injured!. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious!. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company!.
It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm!. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business!. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them!. The last question of the interview was always the same!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the first candidate!.
"Yes!. You have no ears!."
He quickly eliminated the first candidate!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the second candidate!.
"Yes!. You have no ears!."
He quickly eliminated the second candidate!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the third candidate!.
"Yes!. You're wearing contacts!."
Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct!. How did you know!?"
"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A man was in a bad accident and was injured!. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious!. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company!.
It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm!. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business!. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them!. The last question of the interview was always the same!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the first candidate!.
"Yes!. You have no ears!."
He quickly eliminated the first candidate!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the second candidate!.
"Yes!. You have no ears!."
He quickly eliminated the second candidate!.
"Do you notice anything unusual about me!?" he asked the third candidate!.
"Yes!. You're wearing contacts!."
Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct!. How did you know!?"
"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A man and wife were going to celebrate their 25th anniversary! They both got into a huge fight! The Husband was really ticked off as he stormed out of the house! later, he was still bothered and remembered he needed to get his wife a gift! On the way he passed a Monument/stone place! He order the largest stone he could buy and on it he had it read: " Here She lies; Peace at last!"
This really ticked the wife off, so returned the favor and his read: " Here He lies: Stiff at last!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
This really ticked the wife off, so returned the favor and his read: " Here He lies: Stiff at last!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
There was this guy that wanted to go to japan and write a book about samurai!.soooo!. he goes to japan and he's sitting in this bar,drinking, when this samurai comes in and says (in accent)"Me number three samurai in all japan" so the guy writing the book says"why are you number three samurai in all japan" he says "see that fly!?"and he swings his sword and it falls down in two pieces!. he starts writing about him, but another guy walks in and says "me number two samurai in all japan!"<-----(with accent,again) The writer says "why are you number two samurai in all Japan!?" the samurai answers and says"see that fly!?" and he pulls his sword out and chops out, and it falls down in three pieces!. so the guy starts writing about him!.!.!. and then some midget guy comes in, and he says "me number one samurai in all japan!." the writer says"how in the heck are you number one samurai!?" the midget samurai pulls out his sword and swings at a fly, but nothing happens!. the writer says that nothing happened, and the midget samurai says "that fly never have sex again!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Okay here's a couple blonde joke!.!.!.
A blonde and a brunette are hold for their life on a rope over a cliff!. One of them has to let go or they both die!. The brunette gives this heart warming speach of how she's going to sacrifice her life!. When the speech is done THE BLONDE CLAPS!
Three blondes are going for a walk in the forest when they come across some tracks!. The 1st blonde says,"Those are deer tracks!." The 2nd blonde says,"Those are moose tracks!." The 3rd blonde says,"You're dumb!. Those are obviously elk tracks!." THEY WERE STILL ARGUING OVER IT WHEN THE TRAIN HIT THEM!Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde and a brunette are hold for their life on a rope over a cliff!. One of them has to let go or they both die!. The brunette gives this heart warming speach of how she's going to sacrifice her life!. When the speech is done THE BLONDE CLAPS!
Three blondes are going for a walk in the forest when they come across some tracks!. The 1st blonde says,"Those are deer tracks!." The 2nd blonde says,"Those are moose tracks!." The 3rd blonde says,"You're dumb!. Those are obviously elk tracks!." THEY WERE STILL ARGUING OVER IT WHEN THE TRAIN HIT THEM!Www@Enter-QA@Com
what's the difference between Frenchmen and a piece of toast!?!?
you can make solders out of toastWww@Enter-QA@Com
you can make solders out of toastWww@Enter-QA@Com
My personal favourite;
How do you get rid of a boomerang!?
Throw it down a one way street!.!Www@Enter-QA@Com
How do you get rid of a boomerang!?
Throw it down a one way street!.!Www@Enter-QA@Com
what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy
gang rapeWww@Enter-QA@Com
gang rapeWww@Enter-QA@Com
visit the jokes and riddles section, you will find jokes aplently I say!.Www@Enter-QA@Com